Will Somebody Please Stop the Farting?

Oh my god, you too? I thought it was some freak-ass thing with me alone! Then I found out it happens to a friend of mine as well. That makes at least 3 people to whom this happens.

This is weird, deeply weird. There’s something afoot here, and I think we need to find out what it is. Something about the smell of video boxes?

Stoid, Auntie Em, and Stoid’s unnamed frined you are all evil people. I used to work in a video store.

If anyone is going to stink the place up, it should be me. :slight_smile:

At least tell me you have the courtesy to go to the Documentary section and give the illusion of browsing, before you cut loose. There’s nothing worse than someone who drags the F-Bomb all along the new release wall.

Of course, working there, I usually had no choice. So I’d try to t to save my SBDs for when I was walking by anohter customer. Blame shared is blame redirected. :slight_smile:

I don’t shoot a bunny, Wolf (at least, not usually), I just get hit with an overpowering urge to use the loo…for #2. Every damn time!

Thank heaven for Netflix.

Re: the video store thing, me too! This not only happens tome when I got the video store, it also happens tome when I go to the Library.

peperlandgirl you’re evil too. :slight_smile:

Stoid, does surfing netflix.com bring on the urge too?

Originally, I didn’t see the thread. Then I had stuff to do, what with the holidays and all. Plus this thread seems to be going for “vulgar” rather than “cute.” Not that there’s anything wrong with “vulgar,” but “cute” seemed kinda out of place. Ultimately, I couldn’t resist, of course.

Back in the day, when we went on “family vacations” in the station wagon, my mom was the culprit. She would wait until we were involved in a discussion and not paying attention to anything else. That’s when she shot off her SBD’s. After a while, we learned to check her behavior. If she was laughing and talking, it wasn’t her. If she was suddenly quiet and very still, we knew that she was guilty. Her emanations were so vile that my dad announced that gas warfare was illegal under the Geneva Conventions of War. That would set my mom to giggling fits and even more farting. Aah . . . the good old days.

I too came from a “Dont discuss ANY bodily funtions” family, so, when I married my second hubby, and met his HUGE family, I was soooooo embarrassed when everyone burped, farted, and even
TALKED ABOUT IT!!!
Over the years I got used to it, and have developed the most obnoxious SBD, which is a combo smell of broccoli and fried onions, which has become exellent revenge at times ( I know who you are, I know what you look like, and I have all the time in the world…hehehe)
I love the comment of " Did ya hear what that asshole behind me just said? " and the " Hang on, I have an incoming call " tho, I regret showing my boyfriend this thread (he woke me up with that one!!!)
Funniest one I heard, was when my boyfriend was working construction, and this big burley guy let one rip, and he hollered from the roof he was working on:
SPEAK TO ME OH TOOTHLESS ONE !!! :eek:

My favorite,I think is ** Polish Mating Call ** or German/Polish you name it ** National Anthem **

I’m printing out every page of this thread to save it all for posteriority. :wink:

I used to be able to get away with it, but now my daughter gives me away, “DAAAAD!”

Nothing beats a good bulldog-growling-under-the-couch gas release to put a man right with the world, IMHO. :smiley:

My mom told me today that my father claims that his “poo smells like ice cream”. My dad is very fond of ice cream.

I’m not sure whether this says something really bad about his sense of smell, his sense of taste, or his sense of what smells and tastes good, but thinking about it has put me off ice cream, at least for a while.

pfffft