Speaker for the Dead! You’ll have to be a thirteen year old male priest. (Yes i found that out from the VVC thread. I talk all about you there.)
Maybe i’ll have to seduce the priest next? ::purrs silkily::
Nope. Welcome to the band, Spider Woman! 
Actually, Uncle Beer is going to be the priest. We’re still looking for groomsmen (you’ll have to see Ron about that), a flower girl, some bridesmaids, an organist, a florist, a caterer, …
Speaker, consider yourself the photographer.
Good gravy…an actual excuse to look for a man to take off his clothes for me. Ahem, I mean ‘us.’
So…guys? Anybody want the honor? You’ll have a very attentive audience, I can promise you. I’m sure–since this is virtual–that I’ll pay you well.
Anybody?
Well, when you say you’re a minor, that pretty much sends off the warning sirens. So is your definition of minor someone under 18 or someone who isn’t old enough to legally drink?
I think this is a current list of everyone’s involvment in the wedding. If I’ve missed someone, please let me know.
Agisofia - mother of the bride
Andygirl - lesbian therapist
Deb2world - disapproving neighbor
Duke - Reader/Groomsman?
Eve – Wedding Interrupter
Hypergirl - bridesmaid (fishnets)
Inky- - ring bearer
InternetLegend – Kvallulf’s drunk, leather-clad, biker girlfriend
Jack Batty - drunk who gets thrown out
Jester – Best man
Kvallulf - drunk who fights with family members
LasarusLong42 - bridesman (in dress)
LaurAnge - Bridesmaid
Lnix - slutty cousin
Screech-owl - maid of honor
Silo - rice thrower
Speaker for the Dead – Photographer
Struuter – bridesmaid/stripper getter
THespos - perverted groomsman
Ultress – Wedding Singer
Uncle Beer - preacher
Zoggie – trollop
Reception Band:
Drain Bead: Singer
Silent_Rob – Bass
Silver Fire - Lead guitar, singer
Spider Woman - Drummer
… so please can I come? Please, pretty pretty please.
As your virtual guest I promise to:
- Cry on command
- Tearfully exclaim how lovely the bride is
- Not out shine the bride
- Catch the bouquet
- Dance with several men at the reception who I’ve never
met in my life - Kiss several men I’ve never met in my life at the
reception. - Get suitable drunk and be involved in an amusing
incident which will be brought up at every reunion.
I shall be wearing a lovely backless red dress, slit to my thigh and red stilletos and a matching jacket for the actual ceremony. I’ll bring a lovely wedding present, a coffee machine, or no wait, an ice cream machine. Nah, even better, I’ll pay for a week in Italy where you can have both.(Good job this isn’t IRL). I’ll help the bride get ready and lend her a beautiful diamond necklace so she has something borrowed to wear and provide her with the hangover cure she needs from her hen night.
So pleeeeeaasseee. Can I come?
When did UncleBeer agree to be a preacher?
Don’t you know that our very own Eutychus55 actually is an ordained minister?
So Jester where and when is this bachelor party and who’s showing up besides you and me?
Yesterday I put up an announcement thread telling all of those MPSIMS broads that you were off the market & basically begging for bridesmaids. Crunchy Frog is Getting Married… It’s now locked. Uncle Beer begged to be the preacher.
PS. I’m also a registered minister in the Universal Life Church.
nadin - If you want, you can be in the wedding. I have unlimited space for bridesmaids. If you’d just like to be a guest that’s fine. I’ll aim for you with the bouquet.
Well, I’m just about to start the bachelor party thread, just give me a few minutes. As to who’s showing up? Well, that’s a very good question. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Ok, if UncleBeer wants to perform the ceremony, that’s cool with me. And I say let him write the virtual vows. From the looks of his post over there he’s already planning something malicious for it.
Has a bride been found?
A girl
Sorry A Girl, I am now betrothed to little*bit. Where were you yesterday? 
Crunchy, don’t make me go back to your bachelor party & ruin it.
I would prefer if you didn’t sound so heartbroken that I won. 
I beg your pardon? I’ve been called magic, but never virtual…
No no, that’s not what I meant at all. The sad face is because I feel sad for A Girl because um . . . she seemed sad about . . . um, not being a bride and I’m um, I’m . . . Oh, I know! I’m such a sensitive soul that I felt bad too. That smiley face she posted is just to hide the pain. Really.
I’m going to back slowly out of the room now.
I think y’all need a belly dancer for the entertainment at the wedding! (It’s a tradition in the middle east - fertility rights, eh )
And I’ll forget to safety pin the back of my bra, so the hook will go out at a critical point in the performance and I’ll finish the show holding my arms over my chest!
Zyada, perhaps you could be of assistance in Crunchy’s stag party. I hear they’re having trouble finding strippers. If you forget the pin, perhaps they’d be just as happy with a belly dancer…
Hey little*bit can I hang out at your party? Mine’s kinda dead.