Winning the thread

[Malleus_Incus_Stapes]

“Winner!” “You’ve won the thread!” “**Username **wins the thread. We can all go home now.”

Which threads have you won? Cite both the winning post, and the post(s) that say you won.

The winner of this thread will receive a cash prize of ten thousand dollars*, and a free cruise around the Sea of Tranquility**.

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I won a thread about unsusal injuries.

@Malleus_Incus_Stapes

So, I was in Africa on safari, and the hotel was offering transport to various tourist traps, including something called a “lion walk”. According to the pamphlet, this involved close encounters with lion cubs, to benefit the conservation society that was raising them.

Turns out that when they said “cub”, they meant “between six and eighteen months old”. To give you an idea of how big an eighteen month old lion can get, well, I found some pictures of the same lion at what I think was thirteen months. At the time he bit me, Lungile was something like seventeen and a half months.

So, I ended up staying in Africa longer than I planned, until my skin grafts were done. But on the other hand, I got some great pictures, including Lungile’s sister, Lina.

I’m almost healed now, although my best pair of pants is beyond saving.

Isamu said "Until someone comes along with their story about being attacked by a shark riding on an elephant, and they have photo evidence to back it up, you win."

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*In Zimbabwean currency
**Lovely views, but no atmosphere

[dba_Fred]

Does winning the one I started in my head, but didn’t post, count?

[Rigamarole]

Well not here, but on Fark, someone once posted that I won the internet. It was for one of their Photoshop contests with the theme of “Censorship”. My quick and dirty entry was this.

[running_coach]

Leading Viagra Scientist Dead at 92

@Argent_Towers

I wonder what kind of wood his coffin will be made of?

@runner pat

Mourning wood.

@postcards

Winner!

Would an Actual Golden Parachute Work?
Not a thread winner as it was off topic but the set-up was too perfect.

@Laudenum

I would imagine that the extra weight of gold would lead to much unpleasentness, when you hit the ground and the gold landed on top of you.

@runner pat

Gold-pressed Laudenum.

[Covered_In_Bees]

I’ve only been here a few months and I won this thread. The link should take you to both my winning post and the post proclaiming me the winner.

[ivan_astikov]

I’ve had a couple, I think, but I’m way too humble to go and search them out.

[Red_Barchetta]

@ivan_astikov

I’ve had a couple, I think, but I’m way too **humble **to go and search them out.

You misspelled “lazy”

[ivan_astikov]

@Red_Barchetta

You misspelled “lazy”

That an’ all!

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

I won a thread about decapitating someone, because I was the only person participating in said thread that had any actual experience in doing so.

How Easy Is It To Sever A Head?

[wierdaaron]

@Qadgop_the_Mercotan

I won a thread about decapitating someone, because I was the only person participating in said thread that had any actual experience in doing so.

How Easy Is It To Sever A Head? - Factual Questions - Straight Dope Message Board

I… think I’ll just… stand over… not near you.

Medical school, eh? Sure, I can understand why it’d be important for a doctor to know how to remove a human head. “Doc, my head is killing me!” “Oh, I have experience with this. Let me just find a scalpel.”

So are you a doctor now? If so, what kind? If any kind of organ or system specialty, do you know how to remove that organ or system from the body?

[Roland_Orzabal]

I didn’t think I had won any threads, but I did a bit of searching, and whaddaya know.

[Henrichek]

Winning this thread would be epic win.

[blondebear]

How about threads that have no replies? Doesn’t the OP win by default?

I guess the OP is the loser of the thread by default, too…

[Covered_In_Bees]

No. Isn’t that failure of the most epic variety?

EDIT: Damn ninja edits!

[blondebear]

Win or lose, it’s an honor just to post here. I’d like to thank the Academy. And my mother.

[wierdaaron]

@blondebear

How about threads that have no replies? Doesn’t the OP win by default?

I guess the OP is the loser of the thread by default, too…

They win by forfeit.

[brujaja]

I didn’t win the “It’s Not Rocket Surgery” thread exactly; but the OP said I got a prize:

@Shai_tan

I think brujaja deserves a prize for sheer volume. Daaaayum!

Got kinda carried away.

[friedo]

I won this one and this one. The latter win was declared by an Admin, even.

No prizes have been forthcoming.

[lieu]

@Qadgop_the_Mercotan

I won a thread about decapitating someone…

I will now always hear The Lettermen singing in the background as I read your posts.

[RoniaBorkason]

broomstick won a thread. I’m about to eat lunch, so I’m not going to look it up.