Please…he’s gay! He’s heard that one a million times…
Oh my dear. I have entire FOLDERS on my computer stuffed with tales he’s regaled his friends with over the years. He is a never-ending fount of hilarious (yet I can personally attest to the veracity of much of it) yarns - God be praised.
If you’re really lucky, you’ll get him to regale you with the story of the time he flipped his truck in tiny Maplesville (M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-aplesville…the home of the “Bible Meth Church”,) Alabama.
Stop it! Just stop it! You keep dangling out the carrot, but it’s not like you’re going to let us eat it, are you?
Thanks so much. Now I must add Sampiro to my list of must-read Dopers.
Hi, I’m new here (took my guest membership to reply to this). Forgive me if it takes me a few days to become clueful.
I want to say that the guy in the next cube is looking at me strangely and wondering why I’m laughing and how long it’s going to take for me to start breathing normally again.
If this gets published with the “that’s another story” stories, I’m camping for it. I don’t care if the bookstore won’t stay open until midnight to release it; I’ll camp anyways. They have to open eventually.
I didn’t say unwrap the plastic, did I? 
That was a really fun story. I hope you’ll find the time to type out a bunch more stories. No pressure or anything, but how about a story per week, maybe a chapter per day?
OK? Good. No pressure or anything.
You made me with I was a single gay man, or your neighbor. I am glad I’m not your relative though.
For the other Sampiro fans who haven’t caught prior installments of his family drama (and I mean that in a good way):
Our Mother is NOT your personal Miss Trixie! Let her retire!
Mama, I love you… BUT STAY HOME!
And the links in the first post of this thread
Also:
I Finally Sell Myself On the Street
I am so in lust with my married co-star (be sure to scroll down for his updates, which get even funnier)
Can’t.Stop.Laughing.(Can’t.Breathe.Either.)
Bravo
Man, I was having the most ROTTEN day…
Came home and read this and I just feel so much better.
Bravo, my man!
Seriously…Sampiro is going to be the next David Sedaris. I FEEL it! If only his sister could be Amy Sedaris. Then again, that would cut down on half the drama…
Question tho - how does your sister REALLY spell her name? You’d better look it up before Christmas card season comes along.
Major, major, major thanks for the compliments… they were like heroin. I’ll post some deleted scenes or extras later this weekend.
Way cool … Great stuff.
OOh! I had been catching up, reading the latest instalments, and I was getting to feel all sad and deprived, knowing that the tale was coming to an end, just as I do when reading a book that I really enjoy.
But there is to be more?
Thankyouthankyouthankyou, **Sampiro/b] 
You really must write and publish a book or ten.
Seriously, write a book. With all this teasing, it’s only a matter of time before some Doper goes all Misery on you.
I sent the link for this thread to the folks in an on-line book group, and they can’t believe you’re not published. (And they thank you.)
I read somewhere that 50,000 books are published every year. Yours would be better reading than 49,999 of them. Hell, you’ve already written most of the book!
Ferret Herder, you read my mind and saved me from reading every one of Sampiros posts … although I may do that anyway after [del]perusing[/del] devouring the threads you foresightedly listed. (foresightedly, is that a word?)
I passed the link to this thread on to a bunch of my friends and they were blown away by Sampiro’s hilarious story-weaving. One of them stayed online through a thunderstorm to read it all.
Count me in as another one who thinks **Sampiro ** could publish and sell a lot of books. I’d buy.
Think about it. Humor is one of the smallest sections in most bookstores. There just aren’t enough people who can write funny.
I always thought it was because there just aren’t enough people who will buy funny. 
Hey, I usually joke with the clerk during the transaction.
Sampiro, is it wrong of me to hope you come out to your sister? Really, really soon? At a family reunion, maybe?