“Raincheck” has a rather cold and impersonal ring to it. It’s probably a polite way of saying “no”, but maybe the woman was just caught off guard or isn’t too socially sensitive.
I’m with the “try one more time” camp, but don’t get your hopes up, and look elsewhere if you get another non-commital turn down.
Me, I’d ask once more in a week or two. If she says she’s still busy, either give up or - if you really want to go out with her - maybe say something like “Fair enough - hey, if you’re free and want to go do , give me a call.”
A lot of women wouldn’t, even though they have the opening.
You know how a lot of women want men to make the first move? A good number also want him to make the second one, and the third, and so forth.
Next time it rains, show up unannounced at her house and don’t take “no” for an answer.
And bring a check.
Without other context I would take it as lukewarm – not totally disinterested but also not secretly infactuated with you either. Basically, she’s giving herself the option to say yes (or no) if you decide to ask again. But that still could be the start of something, she could just need time to get to know you. That is the point of dating after all.
If you’re actively interested in her then I would suggest asking her out for something with an open date, as mentioned – “next week” or “next weekend”. But of you’re not actively interested then it might not be worth the trouble.
If someone asked me out and I was busy that night, but I really wanted to go out with the, I would suggest another time to meet. “Damn, I’m busy this Friday. How about next weekend?” sort of thing.
That being said, she’s not me. If you’re really interested, ask again. If you get a similar response, walk away.
Whenever I’ve gotten a real raincheck, like from a store, it’s been up to me to come back to the store and say “Oh hai, I got this raincheck that I’d like to use, please.”
I don’t see why this metaphorical raincheck needs any different protocol.
If you ask her again and she gives you another ambiguous answer, you should say “Ok, I’m going to interpret that ambiguous answer as a polite no. Am I right or wrong?” It would help us guys out a lot to hear her response to that.
Well, the woman said “I’ll *take *a raincheck”, not “I’ll give you a raincheck”. Doesn’t that imply that she is the one with the raincheck, and gets to go back to the store?
If that’s the case, then it’s her move.
Holy crap, there are real rain checks? I thought it was just an expression people used.
I’ve only ever heard of it in the context of a baseball game or outdoor concert.
I wikied it and it also works for grocery stores who have run out of on sale items. Interesting!
Yeah, the term comes from baseball. If a game gets rained out, you can save your ticket stub and get admission to another game later. Ergo, technically, it would be up to the person who took the rain check to redeem it. In common parlance, it’s come to mean “maybe later.”
Along those lines, however, to paraphrase Jack Johnson, maybe pretty much always means no. The lady in question and I are in a writing group together, so the opportunity to talk more and perhaps ask her out again is there, but my proverbial hopes are far from up. That, and I’ve gotten this far without ever having a restraining order against me and I’d like to keep it that way.
That said: ladies, has a second offer after a gentle rebuke ever been well received by you? I’m playing Devil’s Advocate here.
That was the meaning I intended. I suppose it was ambiguous.
To restate: the ball is in the askee’s court now; she must make the next invitation or the OP will move on. It probably means “No thanks,” but there is an outside chance that the OP could be pleasantly surprised.
Unless she suggests another time, it means “no.”
Yes, as when Target runs out of an advertised sale item, you can get a raincheck so that when they replenish their supply, you can get the item at the sale price.
Proper protocol: You find a guy who knows either her sister or her BFF and you ask the guy to ask his friend to ask the woman who is the object of your affections whether she likes you and would consider going out with you if you were to ask. Then wait for the answer to be relayed back.
At least that’s how it was taught to me in high school.
And if the sale item is something perishable like milk or eggs and you don’t immediately need any more, you wait until late in the week when the store is sure to be out of the sale item and go in and request your raincheck. Then you can go back when you actually need the item and get it at the reduced price.
I’m in the “one more time” camp. If she doesn’t say yes OR if she doesn’t counteroffer, she’s not interested.
I’m a little more optimistic. If I didn’t want to go out with a guy, I’d just say “oooh, I can’t, I’m busy on Friday” and leave it at that. I’d say “raincheck” if I actually wanted to do it and was just simply otherwise engaged for that evening.