Don’t do this. A second decline without an attempt to reschedule is a definite no.
I would think you’d only want to follow up with a woman who is letting you know that there is at least SOME interest in trying a date with you. The way you phrased it makes it sound like at best she has a neutral attitude towards having a date with you.
Having a neutral (much less negative) reaction to the thought of dating me wouldn’t really cut if for me.
YMMV.
You won’t get anywhere sitting on your hands waiting for her to cash in her raincheck. Nor do you want to creep her out by coming on too strong. So I’ll jump on the “one more try” bandwagon, but don’t give her the option to pull out the “I’m busy” excuse again.
“So, can I take you up on that raincheck for dinner? What night is good for you?”
You’ll either walk away with a date or a definite No.
This isn’t a failsafe tactic. At the local grocery store I used to work, we preferred substitution of alternate brands to rainchecks. Rainchecks were issued *very *rarely. Maybe at a bigger store it’s different, of course.
Listen to treis, otherwise you’ll come off as the creepy pushy guy who doesn’t get it. Sure, she should give clearer responses, but you should learn to know when you’re beat.
That’s my suggestion, too. She did leave it fairly ambiguous, but she didn’t respond to the request for a date with, “Dear God, NO! NONONONONO!” either. 
Sometimes I wish this were the case. There have been times when I’ve actually needed the item on sale and asked if I could have another brand or if I could take two six-packs instead of a twelve-pack. At all of the chain food and drug stores near me the response is always “No, but I can give you a raincheck.” The only time they seem to offer substitutions is if the product is permanently unavailable. But I certainly don’t doubt that policies could be different at other stores.
Totally agree.
Also, there is another point here. If you are pursuing a girl while at the same time puzzling over how to interpret a girl’s actions or words, i.e. playing the “she loves me she loves me not” game, it’s extremely unlikely that she likes you. I’m not sure why this is, but it seems to be a universal law of human nature.
Or ask her to accompany you to a hockey game.
It’s going to lay out like this
People are genuinely busy, especially high quality women. So she could be perfectly on the up and up re her plans.
If she’s really interested in you she’ll call you back with an alternative opportunity to go out. If you don’t get the call she’s probably not that into you.
If she’s (in your opinion) not that into you right now, but you think she might be if you get the chance to interact, call her back with a second pitch. If you get brushed back again it’s time to hit the showers… or take it to the next level, but that often involves the chance of getting arrested or shot so best to move along quietly.
Or getting wet while you stand in the rain in your trenchcoat, holding your boom box up outside her house.
This story seems appropriate to share here. This is a story of the last guy I fell for.
He met me at a party and got my number, and asked me out to a movie a couple nights later. I said I already had plans, did not suggest that we get together another time. He texted me again during the week, at maybe 7:30 PM, and I didn’t respond until lunchtime the next day. He texted me that Saturday night, and I fell asleep in the middle of the conversation. He asked me out again the following Sunday, and I said maybe, I had stuff to take care of and I wasn’t good with last minute plans. So then he asked me what night I was free for him to take me out.
This is a course of action that, from what I gather, almost every single Doper would advise is bad. They would say he was too forward and I was clearly uninterested. But let me tell you, I fell for him bad.
Let me tell you another story: A guy from my gym asked me out for a Wednesday night. I said no. He then asked me out for a Thursday night, and I said no. He then asked me out for a Saturday night, and I said no. Eventually I told him that I didn’t want to go out with him.
Moral of these stories: Go for it! If she’s definitely not interested she’ll let you know. And if she’s only marginally interested, maybe all she needs a little more time with you to be won over.
I’m no expert on dating but to me “raincheck” has an inherent element of “another time” and so I would be very careful not to use it unless I really did welcome another invitation.
I disagree with the folks who’ve posted that “raincheck=rejection” I’m also not sure Astro’s on the money saying she’ll call you, unless she explicitly said she would. If I had said “I’d like a raincheck” I would be thinking that whoever did the asking should ask again.
I’m off to try an figure out whether or not I’m a “high quality woman.”
Best wishes.
I’m of the one more try school. Suggesting another time might seem to her like asking you out, so not doing that may not be a total negative.
How about making the second invitation more open ended, like “would you like to go to dinner this weekend?” If she is interested you can negotiate the time. If she says something like she’s busy all weekend and doesn’t make a suggestion for another time, then you can give up.
Yes, one more try. If she agrees, yay! If not, let it be. Other fish and all of that.
I already know why, it’s because women don’t date nice guys. They only want to go out with jerks.
I am kidding!
When I ask a girl out, I usually have at least one backup plan, so if his happens I can make a counter offer right then. I would rather just get an answer immediately than try to guess will she/won’t she for a few days.
Of course it doesn’t always work out that way… I was once told by a girl after dinner hat she did t want a relationship yet because she had just broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years a month ago. Then she went away for the summer. Came back. Wasn’t interested. Oh, and she had a fling over the summer too. Fuck.
And all of that indeed.
A bit more detail: we’re both doing NaNoWriMo and we met at our regional write-in. I invited her to go do some writing with me over dinner and was rewarded with the proverbial raincheck. We probably will see each other again at the write-in Saturday. I’m going to play it cool, make friendly conversation, and see how it goes. We have a lot of common interests (history, writing, museums, live music) and I think we could really hit it off, but if it’s not to be it’s not to be. Won’t be the first time–and all of that:dubious:
ZOMG! And you totally had dibs too!!
It either means “no” or “try harder stupid”.