I’ll have to pay attention to those signs. I hadn’t considered how her being married or not might change the equation. She is, indeed, married, so I may actually just be a nice distraction at work. Interesting. So, the question now is, would the physical signs that Abbie listed mean more, or less, with her being married?
By the way, happy birthday!
Oh, and by the way - thanks to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday in this thread!
Less, most likely.
Given she’s married:
#1 - she’s flattered
#2 - she’s just being friendly, and the reason she didn’t do the birthday thing the past 4 years is because you weren’t working together as much as you are now
#3 - iffy. Could be she’s just bored and you’re fun to talk to, so she intentionally does come in when you’re there because she wants a 5-minute mental vacation from work. Could be she wants to jump your bones.
At any rate, the fact that she’s married AND a coworker could only lead to trouble for you should anything happen. There’s nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting, but it may be up to you to (nonverbally) set the tone that flirting is all it is.
Abbie, thanks, this is good info. I probably should’ve made it clear at the beginning of the thread that I’m not planning on starting a relationship with this woman; I merely wanted to find out if what I was seeing might actually mean anything or not. I guess I wanted to determine if I should be feeling flattered or just indifferent. (Besides, who couldn’t use a little ego-boost, now and then, if the interest is genuine?)
Any other opinions out there?
I guess this is all a moot point now as we’ve discovered the lady in question is married but I have to say that this would be the exact way not to approach the situation in my opinion.
Tell her she’s going to dinner with you? 
Couple of warning flags went right up for me!
- Married women should not be dated (except by the husband of said woman)
- Work relationships can be dangerous, proceed with caution. (Use EXTRA caution since she’s a married woman)
good luck either way though!
butler, you must’ve missed my last post where I said:
[QUOTE=Stark Raven Mad]
Don’t ask her out. Ask her if she knows it’s your birthday. Or if she wishes you a happy birthday first, just skip to the next bit and tell her she’s celebrating with you at X restaurant at 8pm tonight, though you might be a little late (because you’re a busy man, see, and you’re making time that she might have the privilege to be with you on such a special day).
[QUOTE]
Wow, that’s just about the worst way I could think to be asked out. I would think “what a pig” and never flirt with you again. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Declan, however, has my take on it perfectly.
However, since you’re not asking her out, just take these ideas and apply them to the next non-married pretty girl to flirt with you.
DOH! Sorry about that. Still good advice for anyone else though.
I’m not sure this is much of a sign. Some people just fidget, constantly. I know I do, I play with my name-badge (which I wear on a cord at my waist), necklaces, pencils, paper clips etc all the time. If I had to sit still for eight hours without something to manipulate with my fingers to burn off a little excess energy, I’d probably lose my mind.
Of the things listed in the OP I think #2 is the most telling. #1 you expect that to happen now and then, and it’s easier to pretend it doesn’t than be confrontational over such a little thing. #3 depends on what you talk about. Do you gossip or gripe? If so, you might be someone interesting to talk to. Where I work the supervisors often visit each other to do both, and it has nothing to do with interest in anything but someone to share frustration or something amusing with. If you don’t talk about things that fall into either catogory, then yeah, that could be a sign too.