I was perfectly willing to go this route with the woman in the OP, but she had a real problem using toys with a partner.
Geez - women who won’t let me come in them, women who won’t let me use a vibe on them. . . . how do I meet all these freaky people?! 
I agree with tanookie - try showering together. First of all, it’s an inoffensive and exciting way of making sure you’re both clean “down there.” (And guys do have a distinctive, slightly pungent, odor after being tucked away all day, so a shower would be beneficial to both.) While you’re showering, rubbing soap all over each other can be a great way of manual stimulation - it’s more slippery than water. Just make sure you rinse it all off before you get out of the shower. For one thing, it can burn sensitive skin if left on too long, and second, it doesn’t taste good. But once you’ve rinsed yourselves off, the smell of clean skin, combined with a slightly more diluted taste of sex will hopefully be quite a turn-on. And if it isn’t, you can always have wet slippery sex.
P.S. - In case no one’s mentioned it, there are also lots of flavored oils & lotions out there. They’d be good lubrication & might be worth a try.
I once dated a guy who wouldnt let ME go down on HIM…
He had been molested by some old man when he was a child.
To be quite honest, I didnt know what to do with him. We didnt go out long.
kellibelli?! Where have you been hiding yourself, girl?
I just wanted to say that this made me laugh a lot.
‘While you’re showering, rubbing soap all over each other can be a great way of manual stimulation…’
Yea, having a shower together is sexy, but I wouldn’t use soap for manual stimulation-I don’t know about guys but my experience with soap ‘down there’ was extremley painful. It can really sting and be incredibly uncomfortable for hours even.
goodluck:rolleyes:
I’m a girl & I’ve never had a problem with soap, as long as it’s well-rinsed. If it’s not, it burns like hell. I guess everyone’s different…
well what I mean if a guy is rubbing soap into me it begins to sting within a few seconds maybe some soap gets trapped inside I don’t know, but even after I have tried to throughly rise the soap away it still burns. I wonder why?
They know their own kind, when they see one? 
The soap you use(d) is probably the wrong pH for your personal chemistry. It varies, from person to person, and from soap to soap. If you think you’d enjoy enough to make it worth experimenting, you could try a mild, glycerine based, soap, if that’s not what you’re already using. Also, deodorant soaps tend to be harsher than non-deodorant soaps.
Crystal Task, that stinging is your hooha’s way of telling you to get the soap away from it. You are not supposed to use soap down there. It’s bad for it.
I guess I need new soap too as it does sting if not rinsed immediately!
You all needed more TMI right? 
Oh and I have to disagree with Tramp… there isn’t a 5 speed vibrator in this world that can compete with what my hubby does with his mouth!
Good LORD woman, watch your language. Next thing we know you’re discussing your tatas.
My OBGYN said the same thing “It’s like a self cleaning oven”. I had to stop using soap of any kind ‘down there’. I couldnt even sit in water that had soap residue in it! The yeast infections stoped and I now have no smell or taste. Which might not be a good thing as S.O. licked (oopps) liked my taste. He now has to keep V8 in the fridge to get his fix. TMI? nah
Good lord Lizard, you really are having a rough time of it aren’t you? You’ve had squirters, you’ve had intercourse without orgasming, you’ve had many relationships and never been in love, you’ve had women who won’t let you come in them, you’ve had women that won’t let you use a vibrator on them and on top of it all, you hate to go down on women.
Hell if I were you, I’d become a monk. It would be less hassle
As far as the soap issue is concerned, I would be very leary of using soap to be manually stimulated. The soap can be pushed up inside the urethra (the tube leading to your bladder). All the rinsing in the world isn’t going to get the soap out of there. That is what causes all the iritation and stinging. However, if soap stimulation is your thing and you do get irritated by it, drink lots and lots of fluids so that you pee alot and flush the soap away.
Could be the perfume in the soap. I wonder if you tried oil or something if it would be better? Then again, plain old water works, too.
I’ve never heard you’re not supposed to use soap down there. I’m starting to feel very uninformed. So no soap, not even for washing?
(Sorry for the brief hijack - I’m curious, though.)
No kiddin’! Reading this thread has caused me to think that very thing. I am currently on a self-imposed hiatus from all sexual contact of any kind with the opposite sex. It’s surprising how much I really don’t miss it. 
But just to be factually accurate, I never actually had intercourse with the woman who didn’t want men to come inside her. As soon as I was sure she was serious I broke it off.
I think if everyone listed their sexual experiences as thoroughly as I have, we’d probably all seem a little weird.
Join a Theatre company.
I don’t like to receive unless I’ve actually soaked in the tub. I’m hyper-sensitive to making sure I smell fresh and sweet south of the mason-dixon.
I heartily agree with Coldfire though. It’s likely to be a problem in future relationships.
Sorry perhaps adding TMI here myself, but women’s physiology being what it is, just the act of intercourse alone isn’t enough for at least 75% of us to achieve orgasm (From either Master and Johnson or one of the other human sexuality bibles, also spelled out with that percentage in many of B. DeAngelis’ books.)
So, if you expect a woman to approach sex with the “well, I can do without BJ’s, regular sex and cuddling is good enough” and expect HER to feel the same way?
You better be DAMN good at other forms of sex and foreplay, or you’re going to have a hard time finding cheerfully willing partners.
As to how to get over the aversion you seem to have developed? It seems as if it was brought on by unpleasant associations.
How bout this? If and when you find another LTR, start out S-L-O-W-L-Y reacquainting yourself with how a woman smells. Enlist her help. She might be a bit put off by what you are feeling now, but she’ll likely be even more put off if she can’t figure out why a nice guy doesn’t want to pleasure her in the most exquisite way a man can.
Maybe just start out with touching and foreplay, try to learn to associate her scent with the pleasure in that. Slowly immerse yourself more and more into getting used to your girl’s scent, and associating it with the pleasure you have in bed.
When you finally get to the first time you go down on her, only do it for a tiny bit. Instead of allowing yourself to recall the unpleasant association, remember all the good times you’ve had having sex with her, and all the times you smelled her scent then.
Don’t plunge (no pun intended) into a full-on 20 minute “muff-dive” your first time out. Extend this “reassociating” the scent of a woman with good things, rather than that one bad experience over a period of months.
I hope this helps a little, good luck to you.
Crystal and ruadh are right. At least according to every gynecologist I’ve ever had. Soap pushed into the opening of the urethera (sp?) can cause bladder infections. Too much soap in the vagina can upset the natural pH balance and cause yeast infections. And if one is using soap to rub and perform foreplay, it could cause those problems.
The best thing “down there” is a plain water and vinegar douche. Soap is a no-no.