I have dated a few women whom were enthusiastic blowers (one was even a slurping swallower, man I miss her!), but my most recent frame of reference other than the girl I am dating right now is my ex-wife of eleven years. I never forced it on her, and rarely asked once it became clear that she just wasn’t into it, nor into me performing on her…I just wanted her to be into it.
That’s awesome.
Being grossly descriptive is one of my very few talents, and often overlooked. Thank you!
Thank you for your contribution! The check is in the male.
This is really funny and I can relate to it being a former goatee owner and a lover of performing cunnilingus. I think I know what Bartholinade is, but google is failing me for an authoritative definition. No urban dictionary, no nothing!
That’s really sad and you did the right thing, which is what I would have done as well. It’s funny…this thread, some of the grief I’ve gotten for it, the copycat threads started as a result of it…I have pretty much the same attitude as you do. If I am with a girl and she doesn’t go for the oral, its not that big a deal. Straight vaginal intercourse is preferable to me under almost all circumstances anyway, and I prefer to perform cunnilingus on someone else than get a blowjob myself. BJ’s in my life have tended to be a part of foreplay for the most part, not an act of culmination.
Eww!
Good one!
There’s probably something to that porn element in terms of the way the act is viewed. As far as I am concerned, it was never really an “issue” between myself and my ex as I generally preferred straight sex anyway, but longed for some variation. I reacted more with bemusement than anything. I’m a guy: if I am getting sex and it isn’t with myself, I am generally happy and not complaining about it.
This is probably one of the most romantic things I have ever read. You sir, are a true poet.
That’s kind of sweet. I don’t think I would use all those flowery words to describe a penis. Penises are funny. But I love being close to them. I fully respect every person’s sexual preferences, but giving BJs is a lot of fun.
My slight preference not to receive is not body-image or self-consciousness related or anything like that. It’s just the simple fact that a tongue cannot apply as much pressure as a finger. I’m not saying it isn’t kinda fun, though.
I have no problem with giving BJs at all: never had an issue with hygiene and frankly hairlessness is just weird to me. Don’t mind swallowing either. Nope, love doing it.
Don’t like receiving though. It’s not a body issue, I just get bored. He’s so far away and I just… get distracted. Sometimes he really wants to and I let him, but frankly it’s like stopping for a cup of tea mid-way through sex.
Ok, that I understand 100%. I had a girlfriend whose clitoris wasn’t sensitive at all. Neither was her G-spot. But her A-spot (like the G-spot, but much closer to the cervix)–oh, boy! Oral obviously wasn’t a priority for her.
I think the lesson from this thread is that we should all try to be good, giving, and game in our relationships, as Dan Savage would say. Setting boundaries is important, but so is stretching them to be a good partner. For some men, fellatio is price of admission for a relationship, and that’s OK–not every couple is meant to be together forever.
All women are different. My current girlfriend was totally disinterested in receiving. She never had an orgasm that way. Then she met me. I’m sure there are other reasons why we are still together.
But truthfully it’s still not her favorite thing but now she enjoys it when the mood hits.
I did. She said she needed to save something special for marriage. It turns out that was just an indefinite stalling tactic. It was never going to happen in either direction.
Ladies, I always found it useful to let partners know that we were only having a reciprocal sexual relationship here. If I was spending time buried in their crotch, then they’d be returning the favor. I’m a very egalitarian sort gal, so it was only fair. Never had anyone decline either.
But now, I’m not so much into receiving as I used to be. I figured out the reason why is because I was one of those “technical” virgins back in the day. Since that meant I pretty much only had oral as my ultimate goal, I must have become uninterested in it now. I’ll still give at the drop of a hat, but I’ll only want to waste my time on cunnilingus if he absolutely insists.
For me it’s all about being in control of pleasuring my partner. I don’t find anything gross about it, and I certainly don’t expect anything in return. If it’s something that’s expected then, yes, it can feel like a chore; I have to say though that I have only been with a couple men who thought it was something I should do without question. Those relationships didn’t last long.
I think that is a valid point, although I must argue that perhaps someone isn’t doing it right and/or the combo of tongue and fingers hasn’t yet entered the fray.
Why do you feel “he’s so far away”? His everloving face is buried right in your cootchie! Seriously though, I guess I understand this point. The intimacy isn’t the same as straight sex…perhaps you should have that cup of tea before sex?
It would be, if she were a lesbian. She might be, I don’t know.
This is interesting. By “technical virgin” I assume you meant that “as long as a penis didn’t penetrate me, I am still a virgin and anything else goes”.
I suppose it depends on what your definition of “is” is.
Never had anyone decline either.
