First, you can decide for your ownself what level of sexual activity counts as losing your virginity. Well, mostly. Simple kissing doesn’t count, but if you feel that oral or manual does, you can count it. Likewise, if you feel that nothing short of coitus counts, that’s your call. I am not the boss of you. What *doesn’t *count is solitary activity. Someone else has to have been in the room with and touching you.
Second, I’m not looking for blow-by-blows, so you needn’t say what activity you engaged in that made you feel not-a-virgin.
Third, I’m only interested in consensual encounters.
Last, I’m not asking if your partner actually WAS discreet–just whether you wanted him or her to keep his mouth shut about it…
And now to restate the thread question, aimed at women who lost their virginity before becoming legal adults. Was it important to you that your partner not go blabbing to his/her friends about it?
Poll in a moment. The results will be private for obvious reasons; the options will be segregated by age.
Nope, didn’t care. I told my friends, so why shouldn’t he? It would have been pretty hard to keep it a secret when I got pregnant a few months later anyway.
No more than I do now. It’d be a little strange if a partner wrote what happened in skywriting or something, but I’d expect the possibility that he’d talk about it with his friends.
I don’t fit in the poll (I was older than 18) but I am surprised by people saying they didn’t care. It still bothers me that men talk about their sexual exploits to other men. I know women do it too, and that bothers me too, but since they are not talking about me, it’s moot.
I remember once discussing such things with a male friend who had professed an interest in me, and I said jokingly, “You know if we were ever to do such a thing, it’d have to be a secret.” And he replied, “Hell no. Do you think I’d do such a thing and then not brag about it to all of my friends?”
That was a real turnoff and unattractive to boot.
I’m not naive. I know they have talked about it, even my current SO. But it still bothers me. Like my brother tells me all the time about his sexual exploits…and I just go “Mm-hmm” because I can’t and won’t reciprocate.
We didn’t exactly blab about it to everyone, but that’s because it was damn obvious. I couldn’t really keep it from my nuclear family, either, because I had to talk to my mom and have her permission to get birth control from the doctor.
There is a big difference between bragging and discussing something with friends that I considered of major importance in my life. My boyfriend wasn’t an obnoxious bragger, but he talked to his friends about things that happened in his life.
I didn’t really care because he went to a different school than me. If we had been in the same high school, I wouldn’t have wanted the news to be spread around or bragged about.
I definitely did not want people talking about it.
In high school, it seemed everyone was ‘doing it’ and I was very curious. I picked a guy I didn’t know very well and who was not a part of my circle of friends and did it with him in his van. I was not favorably impressed with the whole thing.
When he told everyone, I denied it and no one believed him because they knew we didn’t really run in the same circles or know each other.
Didn’t care.
Our circle of friends knew the status of everyone’s relationship and was very open about it all, so not only did I know it would be discussed, I was party to some of the discussions.
I think I did it just to be done with it. I never saw him again, and I was okay with that, but it wasn’t like everybody at the party didn’t know where we’d been. It was about a week before my seventeenth birthday.
