Is there an assisted living facility nearby? You’re welcome.
Can I ask?
Don’t mind having dinner and a movie…
And joys of all joys rape month is coming back around again in two weeks.
Wow, I missed that.
It is a funk unto its own.
Oh damn. I would like to rephrase. The reason I’m not having sex with the OP is because he eats his own butt hair.
Did anyone else see the title of this thread and wonder why it isn’t up to 50 pages yet?
When I saw you’d posted in it, yes. 
Change your page count to 5, you will be up to at least ten pages.
–golf clap–
You thought you were taking the mick.
You were just belaboring a pointless point pointlessly. And humorlessly. God, I hope this is the last of these…
Women won’t have sex with the OP because when he says “taking the mickey out”, they think “flasher”.
Aren’t you the one that posted a video of yourself eating your own snot?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that !
Yeah, But what about all the chicks who are totally into that? Why won’t they have sex with him?
Okay, now we’ve gone over into the realm of TMI.
Basically, women are looking for a more complicated Linctus.
Practically, you want to try to frame your mind into the position of, “Why do I not want to have sex with* this* woman?” Seriously, if you can do that successfully, the whole question will become clear to you.
Be successful and have some manners. Work hard for money. Take some exercise to boot. Do this and you’ll get laid even if you aren’t pretty. Simply put in the maximum effort- not in the rape direction, but rather the self-cultivation direction. It really works.
And stop eating your face.
Wait, what? Women are looking for complicated cough syrup, or maybe mentholated candy? Gonna need a cite for that, for one of two reasons. One, so that I can dismiss it as unfactual, or so that I can hunt you down and beat the snot out of you for waiting this long to tell me.
You hungry again?
It’s like wine, man. Simple linctii don’t make their toes curl, but the variegated bouquet, flavors and palate feel of a high-quality, complicated linctus really makes their tootsies roll. Even the Hindus knew what an aphrodisiac this was. I thought you were some kind of intellectual 
Freud: What do women want?
A: A decongestant that makes their day instead of making them puke.
I just loved this.
I’m married.
So you’re completely celibate?