The writer of this article avoided the very relevant fact that women rarely contact men first, regardless of the man’s physical stats. The fact that only 4.1% of women will contact a short man is irrelevant until you have the statistic of how many of those same women would contact a man who was tall.
My fiance is 5’3", but if I were single and looking for matches online, I would have answered no to that survey (as in no, I would not contact a man under 5’9"), simply because I would prefer to have the man initiate the conversation rather than me doing it myself.
Ohh okay that makes sense then. I know a lot of women like tall men but that just seemed extreme. I know a lot of short men who have no problem getting women. Women who were taller than my 5’5 ex came up and talked to him right in front of me a couple times! And he was cute, but certainly not model material or anything.
I would not be at all surprised to hear that men like 5’0 had problems finding women. I would be surprised to learn that they didn’t. But anything under 5’9? 5’8 isn’t really even what I would consider short. It’s just on the shorter side of average for a man. It would never even cross my mind to think anything of that.
Depends on the site. For some you can’t see or the make it difficult to see those that have their preferences sent out of your range. So even if its the guy doing all the contacting he usually sees those that he matches. You can usually search deeper and find anyone but the suggested dates are ones that having matching parameters.
It seems a bit extreme to me too. I can understand it coming from women who are themselves 5’9" and above but obviously most women are not nearly that tall.
I disagree with the idea that any physical preference is shallow. It can be, certainly - when younger a FOAF had the goal of sleeping with a woman of every possible eye color/hair color combination. :rolleyes:
Having reentered the dating scene again, I am genuinely amazed how height is actually quite a big factor in a lot of online profiles (on various dating platforms).
I’m not just talking about women who don’t want someone shorter than they. I mean women shorter than I am who still insist on 5’10" and taller, or 6’ and taller–with a countless variations of “I don’t want you shorter than me when I’m in heels.”
So it’s been a bit of a wasteland. It’s encouraging that there are women who would go for men of smaller stature (I’m a little shy of 5’8") but based on this thread, most of those women are already with someone. It’s the remaining women–single, looking–who seem to be more particular.
Which is their right, of course. But even living in a big urban area, things are very very thin.
Um - it’s great to know that the dope has these altruistic people, but they are NOT representative of the dating population, full of crap, or the ones that are against short men aren’t answering.
It is quite clear that height matters - for women too. Look at the OKCupid thing - both number of sex partners and number of unsolicited messages vary by height. Also it appears the men lie about their height - which doesn’t surprise me.
Virtually every woman I have met from dating online has three complaints:
Guys are only into sex
They use old pics
They lie about their height
I have met women that will and have dated shorter men than them. I’ve probably discussed this with 25-30 women. Maybe 15% claim they’d be interested in someone shorter than them.
While they might not tell that to someone short - I’m about 6’0" (which I guess is above average, but I think of as average).
That being said - two things:
I am talking about blind dating / internet dating. If you meet someone in real life - you are more likely to be willing to give them a shot - as they’ve had a chance to win you over. Plenty of women & men have certain rules of thumb - that they wouldn’t usually break when using a computer to find a date - but toss aside when the person is in front of them.
I don’t think 5’9" is short. If you look at the OKCupid graph - you are at a very small disadvantage at that number. As someone earlier stated - the thing I hear/read most often is the “I want to be able to wear heels and still be shorter”. Yes - you do hear/read even from short women stuff like “why should I be forced to date the short guys” - so PART of it is absolute height, but I think for many women it is a small part.
Maybe things in Manhattan are different, but I find a hard time believing that the stat you read is what you think it means. As others have pointed out - few women contact men at all.
Looking at the OkCupid graph it appears you are somewhere at about a 15% disadvantage of being contacted (vs taller men) - while someone who is 5’0" looks like they are at around a 70% disadvantage.
Why? I am a large woman: aka BBW, curvy, fat. My body is not everyone’s cup o’ tea. I don’t bear ill will, nor think men who are not attracted to me as shallow. We like what we like. What IS shallow, is the dude who told me he’d love to f!ck me, but he had to have “arm candy” in public.
I chose not to settle. My current dude? 6’ 3" smart, educated, caring, funny and hottt.
I’m a 5’5" male, and I don’t blame women for not wanting to be with me because of my height, though I’m *really *effected by it.
“Overweight” people can often diet and exercise.
I admit, I have a complex. I’m frustrated and sad about my height. One of the reasons why, (if I ever had the chance), I would never have children of my own.
I’m sorry you feel that way. But that is part of the reason I don’t find myself attracted to shorter guys. Confidence in a guy is sexy. A dude with thinning hair? If he tries to hide it, he just comes off as sad and pathetic. If he owns it, it’s very attractive. Same with height. Guys who feel bad about it, oh woe is me. Or guys who overcompensate (little man syndrome) just aren’t appealing. A short dude who owns it? I might actually find that hot.
Well there has to be a reason why a lot of short men have those issues. Women take one look at my online dating profile, and go on to the next guy after seeing how tall I am. I don’t even have a chance.
The entertainment business doesn’t help either. People are vocal about women and body issues they have. You never hear about the lack of short man representation in the media.
I don’t blame women for having a preference… but of course it effects me, (which then probably leads to even less women finding me attractive due to lack of confidence and low self esteem). It’s not just women. Other men often talk over me as if I’m not there. Guys often found me to be an easy target in high school to pick on. I’m sure there’s even prejudice with employers.
I’m 5’ 6". My 2nd husband was 5’ 9". I would not turn down a date with a man shorter than me for only that reason. I did go on a date a long time ago with a man shorter than I am. He brought it up throughout the evening. It was more than a little off putting.
I have an upper height limit, not really a lower. I’m 5’5" and prefer someone close to my own, would date a guy shorter. My 3 boyfriends have been 5’7", 5’8" and now 6’. He is a bit too tall to fit well with me but I like him anyway.
But I’m weird (I think most tall men have bad proportions). Most of my female friends are really shallow about height, the taller the better.
I’m sorry, perhaps I’m reading this wrong. Your second husband was taller than you, and for that reason, you *wouldn’t *turn down a man shorter than you?
It’s really been a long night for me. I shoud have re-read my last post and made some corrections before I posted it.
My 5’5 ex’s nickname is Shorty. It’s in his email address. I don’t think he has any issues with his height. Then again, he does drive a Hummer (which I find appalling).
I’m 5’5", and I’ve always preferred guys in the 5’8"-5’10" range. I did date one guy who was shorter, and it didn’t matter. But I always felt insignificant and uncomfortable with really tall guys. I used to go dancing with one who was 5’15" and he was lots of fun, but I felt like a little kid next to him. And once I was in a training class with two guys - one was 6’8" and the other was 6’10" - they thought it was hilarious to stand next to me, rest an elbow on my head, and ask “Where’s FairyChatMom??” :rolleyes:
There’s also the practical side - my husband is only 4-5" taller than I am, and we only have to make minor readjustments to the rearview mirrors when we drive each other’s cars. I can’t imagine having to adjust from someone a foot taller - not to mention seat adjustment.
Yeah, pretty much. I caught DoctorJ pulling the “stand one step higher and tiptoe” routine when out with me on our first real, just-the-two-of-us, date date. I have never at any point in the following 19 years, been less attracted to him than at that moment. He knocked it off pretty fast–I think he found my hysterical cackling when I figured out what he was doing more embarrassing than our height difference.
and he was lots of fun, but I felt like a little kid next to him. And once I was in a training class with two guys - one was 6’8" and the other was 6’10" - they thought it was hilarious to stand next to me, rest an elbow on my head, and ask “Where’s FairyChatMom??” :rolleyes: