The Drunken Clam seems more fun than Moe’s. Or at least less depressing.
While trying to arrange for a promotion at work (which he wanted only for access to the executive bathroom) he started a fire which destroyed a wing of a children’s hospital and killed 19 children.
While leading a crew of land-pirates, he forced a motorist off the road and into the ocean, where the car sank to the motorists’ death.
During a time-travel adventure, he accidentally created a reality in which he never married Lois; in that reality, as a direct but extremely complicated result, the Iraq War was never fought, marijuana was illegal, Al Gore won the presidency, and global warming had been conquered. He nonetheless went on to reverse all that.
Nobody wants to hang out with Roger???!!! The alien poops jewel encusted gold turds! I’d go to Langley Falls for sure. Peter and Stewie are psychopaths, there’s a pedophile in the neighborhood, not to mention Quagmire. Homer would be my second choice, but if I had to live next to Peter, I’d turn down the job.
Unless you’re a member of Skull & Bones, Herbert is completely harmless. Why else do you think Stewie hasn’t killed him?
Besides, Chris is at least 13–and I think actually 15, as Meg has gone from 15 to 17 during the series, and Chris also seems older–so Herbert’s actually a hebephile.
Missed it by that much.
Depending on how you want to read the Family Guy timeline he may also have murdered Connie D’Amico. He repeatedly slammed her head into a fire extinguisher. It wasn’t at all clear whether she survived.
How about Cartman and his mom? On the one hand, you have one sexy skank (tho probably loaded with a bunch of nasty diseases); on the other, a little kid who is also a murderer and often ends up connected with some disaster (even if not his direct fault) which destroys half the town.
I’ll live next to Homer, despite the obvious threat to life, limb, property, and sanity.
Springfield is just a cool place to live. There are celebrities passing through all the time, the townsfolk are always breaking out into catchy parody songs, and I’ve always wanted to check out Springfield Gorge.
You, however, might want to stay away from his dog. :eek: And the reset button doesn’t seem to work as well in the KOTH universe.
Don’t believe so. Boy has a family to feed and that last settlement won’t last forever.
Homer seems like good company for another guy whose tastes run more like a Ford than a Bush. And no matter how much you screw up, you can always blame him. Flanders could be good for a religious debate.
Ah, thanks. I vaguely remember that now.
Peter is not Meg’s biological father, according to one episode, so twice, at least.
Yeah, but continuity doesn’t exist in Quahog. After 30 minutes everything would be back to normal. …Well, status quo, anyway.
Springfield. Homer rarely kills his neighbors, unlike Peter, and Stan will if he hasn’t already. Plus, I already know everybody in town and besides Lisa and Professor Frink, I will be King of the Idiots, and much more sociable than either.
Stan is the only one I wouldn’t want to live by, but between Homer and Peter I’d choose Peter mostly for his dog.
Stan would be a nightmare. He would probably have the CIA watching my house 24/7 just because I don’t mow my lawn often enough.
Living next to Peter just seems insanely dangerous, plus there’s Herbert and trigger-happy Joe. Cleveland and Quagmire seem ok, but I think Quahog is out.
I haven’t seen much of American Dad, but Tengu makes a good case for Langley. Still, a homeland security nutcase doesn’t seem too safe to be around. I give this one a maybe.
South Park is right out. Even leaving aside Cartman’s crimes, the whole town has gone nuts on outsiders more than once. Screw those guys, I’m staying home.
For all his dopeyness and disfunction, Homer is a very gentle, friendly neighbor (granted, I’ve only watched the first 8 seasons). Invite him to watch the game over a few beers and you’ve got a pal. Bart’s a troublemaker, but invite him for some constructive troublemaking and he’d probably start looking up to you as a mentor (I could see that backfiring, though). Marge, Lisa and Flanders all seem easier to get along with than real-life neighbors I’ve had.
I pick Springfield, with Langley a close second. Quahog comes in a distant third and South Park has me turning down the job offer.
I’d probably go with the Simpsons, the greatest danger there being the nuclear plant. OTOH, the plant has gone 20 seasons with only about a dozen near meltdowns, so it’s probably okay. Springfield it is.
Stan Smith is dangerous, killer or no. The abuse of CIA resources goes unchecked - not to mention access to experimental/alien technology/knowledge. But you could probably keep out of his way and be fine.
Everything else aside, the Family Guy universe is stuck in jokes and references that predate, well, everything. I was born in the late 1980s, which wont reach Quahog for another fifty years or so.
Langley. All I’ll have to do is fly my flag (properly of course) and there should be no problem. After Stan checks up on me and sees I have a security clearance he’ll be a good neighbor.
Us queers are shit out of luck with him though.
Seeing as I’d be working for the NSA, Stan would have to learn to like me. 
If you ask him to perform his one-man play about Abraham Lincoln and his “special friend,” I think he’d be cool with you.