“Two Much” with Antonio Banderas, Melanie Griffin and Daryl Hannah. The only thing that distracted me more than the horrible plot and acting was the fact that Melanie and Daryl were once drop-dead beauties and were such skanks in this film.
In this world, you must be oh-so smart, or oh-so pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.
“The Man Who Fell to Earth,” the only film I have paid money to see and then left the theatre halfway through.
My take on bad movies: “Not only did I waste a couple hours that I’ll never get back, I’ve got a buncha crap in my head I’ll never get out.”
The 'Burbs, of course.
Big Trouble in Little China.
And let’s not forget The Giant Spider Invasion! Filmed near my hometown in northern WI; that should tell ya.
Your brain-in-a-jar,
Myron
Imbibo, ergo sum.
Amateurs. All of you.
I paid good money to see “Robot Jox” dragged there by a friend who is a F/X geek. Aside from us, there were two 8 year olds whose parents where obviously watching something more worthwhile elsewhere. And that was opening weekend.
Iswote, you’re the first person I’ve ever known who think Melanie Griffith is attractive. Me and my friends try to figure out why she’s in movies at all … maybe you’re the explanation! [chuckle]
My least favorite movie recently was Happiness. Horrible characters, horrible plot, horrible music. The child-molesting subplot was not the least pleasant part of the movie.
Also saw Woody Allen’s Celebrity, which feature Melanie Griffith playing The Ugly Chic That Everyone Thinks Is Gorgeous. Wretched movie. Sort of Woody Allen doing a parody of Robert Altman doing Burn Hollywood, Burn!. Upchuck city.
Beloved, starring Oprah Winfrey and Danny Glover. But it’s not their fault the movie is bad, let me say. I just don’t want it confused with any other movie with a similar title.
I tried watching it on Starz! the other night and changed the channel right after seeing Oprah take a leak. I didn’t care what happened after that. And I managed to sit through King Kong Lives! starring Linda Hamilton as a doctor who implants a Volkswagen-size artificial heart into Kong. This movie made the old, Japanese-made Godzilla movies look good.
If a movie has a cast and crew with good reputations and a substantial budget, we expect it to be good. If it isn’t, it deserves our ridicule. Why would anyone expect Plan Nine to be any good?
Sig Alert!
I thought Melanie Griffith was sexy in “Body Double” and pretty good looking in “Working Girl” and “Born Yesterday”, but I agree with your opinion about her now.
Let’s See What’s Out There … Engage
Well I had posted a few words on a movie called Freaked yesterday, but it doesn’t appear to be here now. I won’t bother typing it again, since I have a feeling that once I post this, the other one will show up too. If not, just trust me. Freaked has got to at least show in this horse race, if not win.
Blair Witch Project
John Carpenter’s Vampires starring James Woods.
My sibs and I renamed it ‘John Carpenter’s James Woods’.
Baby Geniuses
The two worst movies are:
Powder
Manos, Hands of fate :mad:
the Astronaut’s Wife…
Wowsers, Charlize Theron is a real hottie but she was nothing but a whiny brat in this movie! And what was with Johnny Depp? Was he asleep through half of it? Sometimes he seemed to have a faint southern accent, Yeeech! Charlize Theron, for that matter, pretty much ruined what might possibly have been a decent flick in Devil’s Advocate.
Also, a more recent one which my guy and I laughed all the three hours through…
Mission to Mars.
Whoa. I can’t even TELL you how hokey some of that dialogue was, and Tim Robbins is one of my favorite actors. Ouch!
I was conceived in a gas station bathroom.
Boxing Helena anyone? Kim Bassinger was
smart enough not to do it. ANY amount of
money she had to pay was worth it.
My nominees
Note: I have decided not to mention sny movies featured on MST3K…otherwise this list would be LOTS longer
-John Carpenters Vampire$- Ughh… This was a bad 'un. Hammy acting, bad dialog, and disturbing misogynistic undertones all conspire to make a really unpleasant viewing experiece. Also, there’s a minor murder victim who kinda looks like David Spade. Make of that what you will
-“Entrapment”- Sean Connery waay past his prime, and Catherine-Zeta Jones cast for no apparent reason beyond the fact she looks good in tight clothes. Nothing more to say, really.
-Any of the “Problem Child” movies. I saw the second one when I was young, and it disturbed me a great deal. I never saw the first one straight through, but know it features Micheal Richards embarrasing himslef beyond words. These “comedies” were built on the same premise the Horror film “Bad Seed” was. The horror movie is actually funnier.
I have to nod to Killer Tomatoes and A Boy And His Dog (never seen Plan 9…yet), but my votes for all-time worst movie candidates go to:
Current films:
The Lost World: Jurassic Park 2
great effects, but pretty much the same as the first one… no story line. The movie sucked. I’d rather see it at IMAX as a dinosaur showing-off-how-good-our-CG-is film.
Godzilla 1998
ICK. enough said.
Deep Blue Sea
Hot chicks do not a good movie make. Scores 10 for eye-candy, but a very generous 1 for script and acting. I can’t shoot the shark because it’s too far away. You jump in the water and cut yourself so the shark will swim into speargun range. I drop the speargun and jump into the water so that a) you get eaten by the shark, and b) I can do my cool little dodging-the-shark move.
Be real, please!!!
Old films:
Manos: The Hands Of Fate
probably the worst movie of all time. Bad script, bad acting, bad effects, bad photography, bad reuse of stock footage, bad monster characters, bad knees, bad editing, lots of dead air, sorta cool in a bad sort of way avante garde score from some beret-wearing, starbuck’s loiterer john cage wannabe. (can’t you at least wannabe somebody good??)
So bad it’s good. Especially if you saw it on Mystery Science Theater.
Kiss Daddy Goodbye
a really crappy black and white horror movie that I saw on Elvira one night. So bad it just plain sucked.
No, no, no, no. Nobody’s seen bad 'til they’ve seen THE TERROR OF TINYTOWN - an all-midget musical western. There’s just nothing to compare with the freakshow combination of exploiting a large number of persons with a disability, bad plot, worse dialogue and worst songs. And making it a western – really inspired. I almost lost my will to live after the first hour.
I saw this as a double-header with another film entitled (I think) the Amazon Women vs. the Aztec Mummy. “Terror” made “Mummy” look like “Cinema Paradiso”.
-Worst movie that I ever sat through and paid money to do so: Cool World, a dark time in moviemaking history.
-Worst movie I got a free pass to: Random Hearts (and the point of the whole story was…?)
-Worst movie I have rented recently: End on Days (Why oh why does Gabriel Byrne go from movies like the Usual Suspects to this??)
-Worst movie that I ever sat through and paid money to do so: Cool World, a dark time in moviemaking history.
-Worst movie I got a free pass to: Random Hearts (and the point of the whole story was…?)
-Worst movie I have rented recently: End on Days (Why oh why does Gabriel Byrne go from movies like the Usual Suspects to this??)
-Worst movie that I ever sat through and paid money to do so: Cool World, a dark time in moviemaking history.
-Worst movie I got a free pass to: Random Hearts (and the point of the whole story was…?)
-Worst movie I have rented recently: End of Days (Why oh why does Gabriel Byrne go from movies like the Usual Suspects to this??)