Oh, Sattua – not “Clash of the Titans”! Not only am I a big Harryhausen fan, I have a special interest in that story of Perseus and Medusa. Ask anybody.
If you’re looking for bad animated flicks there are a LOT of candidates indisputably worse than COTT. Look up “Jack the Giant Killer”, or any of the Rankin Bass productions (Rank and Base, I call 'em), or Ralph Bakshi’s “Wizards”. Or his best left forgotten “Lord of the Rings”. Or “The Crater Lake Monster” or “Laserblast” or “Starcrash” or … ahhh, there are just too many of them.
I may be the only person in America to have seen it, but The Barbarians has to be on this particular heap. To this day, I don’t know if it was the worst sword and sorcery picture ever, or the best and most subtle parody of sword and sorcery pictures ever
I happened to enjoy The Fifth Element very much. I didn’t find it boring at all.
There is a movie I haven’t even seen yet but already hate. Some of you have probably seen the commercials. Its called MVP: Most Valuable Primate. From what I can tell, a boy on a struggling pee-wee hockey team somehow finds a chimp that can play hockey. I caught the name of the hockey team too. You guessed it, The Chimps. Why do people bother with this crap?
I once sat through a Russian piece of dreck called The Zone. Part of the problem was the fact that it wasn’t completely translated; every once in a while a character would say a line and there would be no translation at all.
But even once you got past the language barrier, the thing was awful. Let me try to summarize the plot: in the middle of Moscow there is “The Zone”, an area filled with supposedly deadly traps. At the center of “The Zone” is “The Room”, and if you get to “The Room”, you get to make a wish. So there’s this guy who makes a living smuggling people through “The Zone” to “The Room”.
Why is this guy braving these incredibly deadly traps over and over when he has access to “The Room”? Lord only knows.
Unfortunately, this film has no special effects budget whatsoever, so we never get to see any of these deadly traps. The entire movie consists of the guide and three other people walking around, and every once in a while someone will say “My God! You nearly set off a trap and got us all killed horribly!”. Then they go into a 15-minute speech about something.
Finally after about two hours of this, they get to “The Room”. One of the people, a scientist, tries to blow up “The Room” for reasons which are never adequately explained, using one of those handy pocket-sized atomic bombs that look exactly like a length of pipe, but the others stop him. Then the three men and the guide decide to…wait for it…NOT GO INTO THE DAMN ROOM!
Sorry, that still bugs me…I sat through two hours of that crap, and they didn’t go into the #$$@#$%% room!!!.
Then they all leave “The Zone”, and the guide’s wife makes a 10-minute speech about how she hates the guide’s job, and then it’s revealed that the guide’s daughter has telekinetic powers and the movie ends.
Being a player, having played for years, having had some amazing times playing this game, I built up some hopes. I valiantly tried to ignore the fact that it had a Wayans. I went in hoping to see some of the fantasy and spectacle I associate with the game.
What I got was a bald guy in periwinkle lipstick (one of the Three Effeminate Villains With No Motivation Whatsoever), a nonexistent script, cheesy special effects, and no relation whatsoever to the game.
But the discussion dissecting it in the Denny’s thereafter was fun.
Also, if you’re into getting friends together and dissing a really awful film, try Steele Justice. A real stinker. Here’s the plot outline from IMDB: "Steele is ex-cop and Vietnam vet who is determined to bring down Kwan, former South Vietnamese general and now rich and powerful drug lord. " As you might suspect, a movie made of cliches, lame action sequences, non-stars, and general silliness.
Left Behind
It has been out on video for about three months now. I have yet to see it and will in all probibility never see it.
It is by its advertising,a Funde film.
I agree with Left Behind. It’s a horrible movie. I have all the books. I like the books, they’re not the greatest, but they are good. The movie ruined the book. It was shallow, too short, and had hardly any prophecy. It’s supposed to be about the tribulation, but I really didn’t notice anything! The producers tried to make it into pop culture and that destroyed it. It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, though. That goes to Urban Legend. What a sick excuse for a movie. I won’t even try to explain how bad it was. The next one is Friday the Thirteenth parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. I can get through 1, but the rest are all exactly the same. I’ve only seen half of them and I know they are all bad. I can probably think of some more later.
I haven’t read the entire thread but I think the worst movie ever made was Armageddon. We rented the movie and about halfway through just couldn’t take it anymore. What a waste of money. When you are talking about bad movies, I think relativity has to be emphasized. A movie with this budget, star power, and hype better be good.
Ben Affleck gets more annoying in every movie. Steve Buscemi-come on! I expected better of you. Hopefully this was just an excuse to make some $$ so you can do the work youreally want to do. Liv Tyler? Horrible. And don’t think you fooled anybody, we heard the faint Aerosmith songs every time she came on camera. The action was dizzying. The storyline was stretched beyond any reason, even for science fiction. I think Roger Ebert said it best when he felt like he was in the middle of a pinball machine. Absolute piece of gargabe. Typical of Hollywood. Throw a crappy script out there but put some big stars on it and the sheep will come. Who cares about quality.
Well, it may not be the worst movie ever made, but Caligula certainly deserves to be mentioned here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie with as much gore and nudity as it had, and it was all incredibly boring! Fortunately, HBO showed a severly edited version (only 1:40, which means they cut out nearly an hour of material). I don’t even know why I left it on, I guess I just had to see how bad it was for myself.
What were Peter O’Toole and John Gielgud thinking?
That’s good to hear. That movie’s gotta be one of the worst things I’ve ever seen, and I just couldn’t understand why two such talented, classically-trained actors would have anything to do with it.
Caligula - Disgusting
Look Who’s Talking II - Hideous forced cuteness
Jaws 3D - Underwater 3D; I couldn’t see a thing
Showgirls - Too bad to even enjoy its badness
Scary Movie - I hated it, but a lot of people must disagree
I’d like to toss a vote in for “Executive Decision,” with Kurt Russell and Steven Seagal. Not only was it cliched and supremely dumb, but it was offensively racist as well. They did kill Seagal off early, though.
This 1981 stinker tried to bring back 3D. It was absolutely mind-numbingly boring. Worse, they jacked up the 3D effect, probably by spacing the cameras too far apart. The only thing that will give you a headache faster than having depth perception out to 300 yards is using it to perceive inane, stupid lines delivered by bad actors. This movie’s only redeeming value was turning around and seeing the whole audience wearing those dorky cardboard glasses.
