Cicada2003, thanks a lot for earworming me with “Wildfire”. Where’s the nearest glue factory?
“Rocky Raccoon” is the worst Beatles ever. John said they never finished it. Well, not starting it would have been an even better idea.
“I Will Always Love You” is mocked magnificently in HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH.
I concur. Of course, when he did Rocket Man that was the actual cause of Skylab falling.
I love The Annoying Music Show on NPR, and one time during pledge week here (the show originates at WBEZ in Chicago) Jim Nader kept playing this piece of insipid dreck called Gulls over and over, threatening that if people didn’t call in with pledges he’d just keep it going.
Worst. Record. Ever.
Basically it went:
*Gulls,
look at them fly,
look at them fly,
look at them fly,
high.
Where are they going,
to?*
Repeat.
It was a man singing in this warbling high falsetto too. Man it was horrible.
I hope I hear it again soon. 
Oh, that’s not to be confused with Lesbian Seagull, which is one of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard. According to Reallyrics.com it’s by Englebert Humperdink. I don’t think he recorded the version I’ve heard though.
Please allow me to introduce myself…
(no, I wasn’t nominating that song for your list!)
I agree with most of the choices so far, although I actually like (and own) some of them. However, on the way to work this morning, we couldn’t help but overhear from another vehicle, the blasting sound of a rap song set to the music of the Christmas hymn, “Joy To The World.” I don’t know who it was by, and I don’t want to know. I only hope I never hear it again! Not only did it qualify for worst song of all time, it also qualifies for worst idea for a song, and it’s the most blatant example I’ve ever encountered of “I don’t know how to compose music, so I’ll just totally rip off this song that’s public domain so I won’t get sued.” Yeesh!!
Just so you’ll all know in advance that I’m a wiseguy, could I nominate for worst song of all time everything recorded since 1986?
I’m happy to be today’s newest member of the SDMB.
“Breaking up is hard to do.” sung by (among others) Shaun Cassidy. Down-doobie-doo-down-down.
Breaking up is hard to do.
Na-nah-na-nah-naaaa-naaaa-nah-na-nahhhh.
'nuff said.
“I think I love you” by David Cassidy & the session-musicians-pretending-that- they-were ‘the Partridge Family’.
(The t.v. show depicts Keith Partridge singing this song – with his mother!!!)
I must take exception to Apos’ posting that William Shatner’s “singing” is done purposely to inject humor into the music, etc. No Apos, Shatner IS incredibly clueless.
His ego is the size of the National Debt and he thinks anything he does is pure genius. (Star Trek V ??? Tek War ???) Nope, his huge ego blocks out any view he has of reality.
While I am here, might as well mention Dickie Lee’s other dead teenager song - “Laurie” - based on an Urban Legend.
I agree with that. This kind of thread is analog for the “worst movie” ones; RealityChuck is right: we’ll never know the name of the worst. It’s all a matter of tastes, because I can’t believe “I will always love you” or “Come on Eileen” or “Yesterday” may be the worst ever.
But the fun of this kind of threads is contributing to lists, I give you the worst for me, by many reasons: 1) I’m tired of hearing that song, 2) It’s well-done and well-performed and well-recorded but it’s silly or showy to me, 3) I don’t like that music genre and it’s a big hit, etc.
And a few others. Special mention to my guilty pleasures:
The Flying Lizards
Perhaps not the worst song ever, but certainly dreadful, is “Brandy, You’re a Fine Girl”. I don’t know who sings it, but I hate it. I have a fairly high tolerance for cheesy music too, so it must be really bad.
What frightens me is how many of the previously mentioned songs I actually like. Heh.
I hereby nominate: “No Way No Way” by Vanilla, an abomination loosely based on Piero Umiliani’s classic “Mah Na Mah Na” (as seen on the Muppet Show!). The now-defunct UK TV show The Chart Show voted this Worst Video Ever, claiming that their staff would lie on the floor with their hands over their ears whenever forced by viewer request to play it. I can’t say I blame them. (VH1 voted it #5 Worst, BTW.)
I can’t find a link to the original song, but in Googling for links, I discovered they released a remix last year. The horror…
The dangers of the thread. I went to bed and then woke up with “Seasons in the Sun.” AAaaaarggghh!
This one may be too recent to qualify as the worst song ever, but it’s pretty damn bad.
I was driving home the other night, flipping stations on the radio when I heard Mariah Carey singing Def Leppard’s “Bringing on the Heartbreak.” They’ve slowed it down, eliminated the guitars and she’s wailing like a banshee for about four minutes. God awful!! The woman must be stopped.
I’ve woken up the last two mornings with “Never Been To Me” playing over and over and OVER in my head.
This could be a sign of serious depression. If it doesn’t stop soon, it’ll sure cause one!
Ouch! I remember feeling bummed out by a country song called “Giddy-Up Go,” and I thought that was the worst drek. Just from the lyrics, “Teddy Bear” tops that – and I’ve never heard the song. (If there is justice in the world, I never will.) Pure masturbation of the tear ducts.
My vote has to go to the remake of “Rock And Roll All Nite” by Toad The Wet Sprocket on the 'Kiss My Ass" Kiss tribute album. It sounds like a country band on qualudes! If you’ve never heard it before, consider yourself lucky. I want to puke up blood every time I hear it. (Which, thankfully, is almost never). Even non Kiss fans will understand that the party spirit of the song is totaly gone when there’s almost no drums, and acoustic guitar!?!?!
I would nominate a song that was introduced to me by MsRobyn and to her by MaxTorque…the immortal “Hooty Sapperticker” by Barbara and the Boys…once you hear it the damn thing it will stick in your head forever…thank god I lost my copy of it when I reformatted my computer…
Keith
For the last four days I have been plagued by “The Rain, The Park, and Other Things” by The Cowsills. I had to do some research to remember the title It’s the one that goes: And I knew I knew I knew I knew I knew/That she had made me happy happy happy/ Flowers in her hair/Flower everywhere/ I love the flower girl etc. Please make it stop.
This thread has released more than a few demons. I’ve got the following lines running through my brain now:
Bleh!
I have a problem with overly sentimental ballads and sanctimonious songwriters. To that end I would nominate “Another Day in Paradise” by our beloved Phil Collins. The lyrics of that song never fail to make me gag. Yeah Phil I’m thinking twice. Twit!
I will always carp on the Boyz II Men song that I believe is called “I’ll Make Love to You”. It may not be the worst song but it has the worst single line. “Put your clothes on the floor and I’ll take my clothes off tooooooo!” Looking at these guys that can only be interpreted as a threat. The art of musical seduction has apparantely gone wayyy downhill since Barry Wiliams and Marvin Gaye stopped making hits.
I know you meant to say Barry White, but your post gave me this awful ‘Greg Brady’ visual. :eek:
Doh! Yes, those are two very different people aren’t they. I deserve any mocking that may come my way for that one.