I humbly submit that “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie is worse than “I Just Called To Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder. Partly that’s because of the horribly sentimental video with the blind girl, but also because it’s even slower and mushier. (What exactly happened to Motown in the 1980s?)
Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” must qualify on overall length, even though moment for moment it’s no worse than e.g. “Love Shine A Light” by Katrina and the Waves, “Another Day in Paradise” by Phil Collins, “Earth Song” by Michael Jackson, “Saturday Night” by Wigfield, Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls”, or anything by King Crimson.
Worst recording I’ve ever heard by a reputable artist is Bonnie Prince Billy’s cover of AC/DC’s “Big Balls”. Although the Flying Pickets’ a capella cover version of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” probably beats it for worst cover ever.
I’ll agree with that! In 1985, we had to sing a medley of Lionel Ritchie songs in the high school chorus. Of course, “Hello” was in the mix. Oh. My. God.
A lot of songs mentioned so far aren’t really dreadful songs. They are OK songs with dreadful renditions. I think to win this poll it must be a song that abso-friggin’-lutely NOBODY could salvage no matter how well arranged or how well sung.
With that I leave you with “The Bright Elusive Butterfly of Love”
You might wake up some mornin’
To the sound of something moving past your window in the wind
And if you’re quick enough to rise
You’ll catch a fleeting glimpse of someone’s fading shadow
Out on the new horizon
You may see the floating motion of a distant pair of wings
And if the sleep has left your ears
You might hear footsteps running through an open meadow
Don’t be concerned, it will not harm you
It’s only me pursuing somethin’ I’m not sure of
Across my dreams with nets of wonder
I chase the bright elusive butterfly of love
As for the worst songs ever recorded, the Church of Scientology once released an album of L. Ron Hubbard’s compositions sung by famous Scientologists. Surprisingly, it sounds even worse than you would expect.
Hey, refusal, “Fat Bottomed Girls” is good! But yeah, “Hello” is definitely up there with the wholly awful.
I would also submit the Dixie Chicks’ cover of “Landslide”. I take no issue with their political beliefs, but covering Fleetwood Mac while sounding like a trio of bleating sheep is just WRONG.
I always thought Whitney’s version of that song would make a great car alarm. Or at least, part of the chorus.
Somebody tries to break in:
**And Iiiieeeeiiiiieeeeeiiiiieeeeiiiiiieeeeeiiiiieeeeeiiiiiieeeeiiiii…
So many excellent choices, so many immediate terrible reactions to songs varying from weak to poor to pathetic (and amazingly no mention of Barry Manilow, who for Copa Cabana alone deserves his own circle of hell).
However, there is one out there who is a living audio torture chamber, who makes Jay Z look like William Shakespeare, who not only inhabits a different reality than the rest of us, but blasts it out with horrific frequency and seeming unending misery for all within earshot:
Wesley Willis
Do a search, he’s everywhere but you can start here:
