So nothing to add, then?
I think this ideal woman has been referred to as both deaf and dumb, and that her father owns a liquor store.
Then why didn’t you simply say “Is deaf?” With the repetition of “looking” and use of a different grammatical format from the rest of the list (as written #4 doesn’t fit with “Looking for a woman who:”) that was clear as mud.
Creepy.
- Yes
- Yes
- Yes
- Yes
- Maybe
- Maybe
- Not wanting to date a non-heterosexual isn’t creepy, but stating right away that multiple women you’ve dated have “turned gay” is off-putting.
- Wanting someone with kids, OK, but insisting that the father be dead is creepy. (And “not be alive or in prison” is redundant.)
- Not unreasonable about the person, but including parents and siblings is weird.
- Putting this in an ad on a general-interest site would be creepy. Without passing judgement about having a fetish for a disability, if you really are a deaf fetishist and this is a requirement, then it would presumably be far more productive to go to a more specialized site.
- Depends on how obsessive it is, but the part about serial-killers is off-putting at least.
- Ok if you really mean you are fairly sedentary, but “long walks on the beach” in these ads is not really about exercise. It’s really a code phrase for wanting to spend time in someone’s company in a romantic atmosphere. Saying you don’t want to do that is off-putting.
If your OP is not intended as a joke, an ad containing all of those provisions together would be creepy to the sixth power.
Creepy and resentful. Once you pass a certain age it’s assumed we all come with a little baggage to any relationship. It feels really off putting to know up front that you will be constantly expected to meet a set of mandatory requirements rather than being accepted as the complete package you are, with a little from the column A (amazing and loveable) and B (things that really irritate me).
While you may think you’re talking about the sort of person you’re looking for, you’re really only talking about yourself. Why not flip the context of these statements to explain what you like and enjoy doing, and allow people to self select whether they can handle the jandal?
And if people selected a partner solely on the basis of educational accomplishments, rather than, saying, being a worthwhile human being with something positive to offer a relationship, that might mean something.
Maybe the “deaf” thing is so she won’t have to listen to his super-hilarious sarcastic humor which he’s honed for years. Things like calling her “poop bird” and “stone butt” even though it makes her unhappy. So maybe that’s why. He wants a girl he can insult with the jokes he has “worked for years on” (like “poop bird”) without her y’know…crying and shit.
Hannibal Lector would find that ad creepy and disturbing. It’s all about you and what you want, with nothing about what you have to offer and the specifics are just…bizarre.
I think the list is creepy as hell, and you should go ahead with it - you might be able to find the perfect lid for your pot with it. 
I think I know why women mysteriously “turn gay” around you.
Oh, eww, good catch.
Superhal, I’m, assuming you have since divorced your wife, yes?
I think Lorene caught that in post #12. 
Personally I like taking threads as they are.
After the chicken fiasco? I should hope so!
Maybe Gallaudet school paper has a personals section. Worth a try; but I can’t say that I hope you succeed in all honesty.
That clarifies things, thanks! And, Oy.
Didn’t when I was there.
I dare you to add something to #6 about HATING Pina Colada.
Geez, dude, just skip the personal ad and get a Real Doll. That should fit all of your criteria just perfectly.
But…um, who will defrost the chicken for him?
There’s something about you specifying that you want a deaf woman who has children with no living father and then throwing in the thing about serial killers that tips it solidly into creepy territory for me.
Just what do you plan to do with those fatherless children that you don’t want their mother to hear?
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?