… because it was, in her or his mind, a bad thing to do, and the “badness” made the sex better for them?
This thread is suggested by two current ones. One is the thread about atheists’ experiences with disapproving believers. In that thread, Kevbo writes
I knew exactly what Kevbo was talking about.
The other thread is the one about what white women have that black women don’t. I haven’t participated in (or even read) that discussion, though I have some experience in the area. I’ve slept with a good number of white women who were “attracted” to me because they were both self-loathing and racist (or, at least, came from racist families). Such women might not have been willing to be even friends with me, much less romantically involved; but sometimes they’d be willing to have entirely sub rosa relationships, which often translated to really good sex. I recall one such girl in particular who, when I asked her out, replied “I don’t do dark meat, Skaldimus” but who was perfectly willing to have energetic sex as long as we were away from her dorm and never acted lovey-dovey in public.
Anyway, let me reiterate the thread question. That question, incidentally, is only aimed at persons who are currently willing to have fuck-buddies or one-night stands, or have had either in the past. I’m not going to include options for persons who have always categorically refused to do either.
Give the opportunity for such an, ah, interaction with someone you found hot, but who was willing to fuck you primarily because they disapproved of you in some way and were excited by their disapproval, would you do it?
Poll in a moment. The results will be private for reasons left as an exercise for the reader.
So it’s like angry post-breakup sex but without the drama of having to have a relationship that ended badly in the first place? We get all the intense and borderline illegal action without the heartbreak of shattered dreams? Instead of seeing the future we had been planning and investing our emotional energy into fade away with only one last round of carnal lust, this time with the gloves off because we know it’ll be the last time, remaining to us, we have an ongoing carnal lustfest with no bitter aftertaste of foresworn dreams?
I can see the appeal of “naughty” sex. If I were single and some Christian boy (or girl) wanted to get it on with me because I’m an atheist, I don’t see a problem with it.
Not at this point in my life. I had an arrangement like this in my late teens-early 20s with a very, very Jewish girl. I’m Sicilian-American and grew up in a strict Catholic family.
She didn’t like me as a person and I was probably nothing more than a sex toy. I–like the dolt I was–thought there was something more to the relationship. She treated me just awful and basically would roll over and expect me to let myself out after she was done. I had to rush my orgasm because once she climaxed sex was over. Being used as a sex toy is not one of my particular fetishes.
She eventually moved to California to pursue her “career”. She simply called me up, told me what’s what, and said(paraphrasing): “I have to visit my family every few months, so we can fuck then”. I wanted to spit in her teeth.
No we never had sex again. I found out a few years ago through her one nice sister that her own children/grandchildren have cut contact with her.
You had me at “Would you be willing to have a fuck buddy…” pretty much, on two conditions. 1) There is no cheating involved and 2) that I find her attractive enough to have sex with.
Male in my mid20s if it wasn’t obvious.
EDIT: The reasoning on her end wouldn’t really matter as long it’s explicitly stated before we get too entrenched in something. I don’t want to think I’m getting into a serious relationship when they’re not. If they just want naughty/bad boy sex from me now and then, provided everything above is met, I’m for it.
Nope. Not that I’m available to have a FWB, but if I were, he’d have to be into having sex with me because it’s me, not because I’m a conservative/Christian/white/etc.
Well, the poll is aimed only at persons who’d have a fuck buddy in the first place. I’m not so much interested in distinguishing between persons willing and unwilling to do that, as I am wondering what sort of, ah, unpleasantness persons in the first category are willing to tolerate.
Perhaps it’s a matter of opinion, but I’m not sure that fuck buddy is synonymous with friend with benefits. In the former the sex is primary and there need not be any genuine affection between the two; in the latter, the friendship is primary and the sex is gravy, but there’s an agreement not to expect commitment.
If it’s a sex friend, their motivations don’t really matter to me, as long as it is not going to lead to any drama. I probably don’t even want to know too much about what their motivations are. Better just to stick to “We, for whatever reason, are two people who would like to have no-commitment sex with each other and are going to do so now.”
That said, I’d be put off and probably end things if I found out they thought I was repulsive or something.
Sure, why not. I had a little fuck-friendlet who, I guess, was screwing me because I was an American and she was from Turkey. It couldn’t have been because of the sex – she’d always be playing some music (hate music while fucking – too distracting), and at least once, I blacked out the whole night and asked her the next day, “So, want to come over tonight? Haven’t seen you in a while!”
Probably. It depends on the kind of “disapproval” we are talking about; it’s one thing if she’s thinking “Oooo, this is so naughty and dirty”; it’s another if she’s likely to end the arrangement in a guilt-driven murder/suicide after setting the building on fire. I’d kind of like to avoid the latter…
My answer in the poll and my real life answer vary slightly but that is only because of my experiences with this situation. I answered “MIGHT” be willing instead of “WILLING” because there are certain girls I would completely avoid under these circumstances. Mainly, if they were “Crazy” racist white girls, I would stay far far away. However, I did have a fuck buddy relationship with two different girls who only slept with me because I am black.
In one situation, it was more a matter of her not having ever known anyone black before that she was close to. She was very honest at the outside and it was simply “I’ve never slept with a black guy and you’re attractive and not a jerk so that puts you higher up than most of the guys I sleep with.”
The other girl was just from a racist family and fairly racist herself. Nothing ridiculous but she had a tendency to say mildly to fairly offensive things before we started sleeping together. Afterwards, she was at least able to control what she said out loud.
The sex was pretty good in both cases. Now, if any of my friends were to read this thread, they would say that most of the white girls I have slept with did so because I am black but these were the only two fuck buddies who follow the criteria of the OP.
I regret not having clarified this – it’s not that she was racist, but her family was pretty traditional and all of her close friends, roommates, even close-by neighbors were either Turkish or from nearby countries.
I think I was the forbidden white meat and token “friend” (even though our skin colors were virtually the same, since I, then as now, spend hours per day in a tanning booth).
The OP is too funny. In addition to being a “good christian” the subject of my post was an unapologetic racist, bolimic in denial, and smokin’ hot. When good sense finally overwhelmed my dick’s high opinion of her, I heard her replacement FB was a black guy!