I have better eyes than teeth, so I’ll go with eye doctor. Also, it is probably easier to get your eyes examined while spontaneously smiling than your teeth.
Listen to nothing but Christmas music for the rest of your life, or nothing but 1970’s heavy metal?
Wow. That’s tough. I guess… Christmas music. But I’d probably go nuts and kill myself before next Christmas.
To give or to receive?
Give. One of the things Ivylad and I love to do this time of year is leave a HUGE tip for a server in one of the diner-type restaurants…IHOP, Perkins, etc. Last year we had the waitress chasing after us in the parking lot, thinking we’d left too much, then bursting into tears and asking if she could hug us. Warm and fuzzies!
Shopping online or in the brick and mortar store?
Brick and mortar, but I must qualify it is at a time of MY choosing (and not some dumb day like Black Friday)
Be able only to speak in “CB radio lingo” (e.g. “you got your ears on good buddy?”) the rest of your life or have to wear a ‘Super friends’ tee shirt the rest of your life.
Wear a T shirt. I don’t care what I wear
See The original Beatles or The original Blues Brothers (Jake & Elwood) in concert?
Love me some Beatles
Work as an assistant to a Teacher or a Dr
A doctor.
Play a villain or a hero in the next Marvel Comics franchise movie?
Villains are so much more fun.
Play professional tennis or cello?
Tennis. There’d at least be a chance at getting to experience a jet setting lifestyle.
Constantly have the sensation that you’re falling/tipping over, or constantly have the sensation you have to go to the bathroom?
Think I could handle the restroom urge
Be a Navy Seal Or Swat
Navy Seal
Be a soldier in the American Revolution (American side) or the Civil War (North)?
Civil War (medical treatment had improved a bit by that time)
Would you rather eat a small mouse or a large cricket? (my cat ate both)
I’m assuming the mouse would be prepared by Wolfgang Puck, and is well-seasoned and tastefully garnished. I just don’t do bugs.
Be locked in a standard prison cell for six months with a tv blaring some televangelist show 18 hours a day or be locked in solitary for 3 weeks in perfect silence?
Solitary for three weeks. I can deal with silence better than noise.
Write a well received textbook on an obscure subject or best selling cozy mystery series?
Best-selling books tend to get made into movies. Money is nice.
Celebrate with just one other person a winter holiday in your religion/tradition or one in a different religion but with a large group of friends/new family.
Well, I’ve done the first, so I’ll try the second. I’ve always wanted to learn more about Shinto…
Christmas in Tokyo or Pretoria?
Pretoria, visit a new country (South Africa) in the process and if enough locals speak English it would be easier than in Tokyo. 
Which would you find more unpleasant: Jumping with a parachute, solo, from 100,000+ feet, like Felix Baumgartner, or diving solo in a submarine 30,000+ feet into the Challenger Deep of the Mariana Trench, and spending hours on the bottom?
If I had adequate training, I’d jump with a parachute. The view would be amazing.
Eggnog or whiskey?
Oh, hell. Eggnog, although I like both.
Work at a soup kitchen or leave a $500 tip for a server at Waffle House?
Soup kitchen.
Spend Christmas (or other major holiday) alone or with a group of homeless?
