Head chef. Less responsibility, more creativity.
Be puked on or peed on?
Peed on for sure. It’s not acidic and less gross.
2 months in solitary confinement in prison, or 4 months in the general population prison?
The former. Being by myself has always been easy for me, and four months in general population would probably put me in solitary anyway.
Break a bone in your dominant hand or your foot?
Hand. I can do OK left-handed, and I’d rather not be hobbling around. (I agree with you about solitary, too - wouldn’t mind that much time to read!).
Be paid $100 to watch a terrible film, or paid nothing to watch a pretty good one?
Paid $100 to watch a terrible film and mock it relentlessly.
Would you rather travel 100 years into the future or 100 years into the past?
Oooh, oooh, I’m glad I got this question. I would go 100 years into the future. The worst thing about dying is I don’t get to see how everything turns out!
You are on your way home from working late (you have worked late every day for two weeks!) and you are tired and hungry and there’s hardly any food in your refrigerator/freezer at home – some lettuce and a handful of almonds or sun-dried tomatoes. Do you stop for groceries on your way home or just eat a meager salad?
I guess I need more meager salads.
Be able to instantly and correctly identify any rock on sight or identify any plant on sight?
Plants are much more interesting (and more edible) than rocks.
Read nothing but a comic strip the rest of your life: Peanuts or Calvin and Hobbes?
They still print Peanuts in my local paper and it is getting tired and dated. I would be able to re-read Calvin and Hobbes for several years at least, actually, maybe I’ll dig out the books…
You and a friend are getting your picture taken with one of those backdrop things that you stick your heads through. Would you rather be astronauts or flamenco dancers?
Astronauts, because if I can’t actually go to outer space, I can at least pretend.
Would you rather be the circus person who puts their head in the lion’s mouth
or
the clown that is shot out of a cannon?
Head in lion’s mouth. Less likelihood of spinal injury.
Know when you will die, or not know when you will die?
Not know. I prepare like I’m going to live forever, and live like I’m going to die tomorrow. Works for me.
Be rich and unlovable or be poor and popular?
Don’t want to be Trump, so poor and popular it is.
Would you rather live life in a small submarine at the bottom of the sea
or
in a small space capsule in outer space?
I guess I’ll go with submarine, in case something tragic happens and it isn’t against the hypothetical to get rescued.
Eat peanut butter sandwiches for dinner every night that you do not go out to dinner, or have to cook (with heat and pans and stuff) all your dinners your own personal self – never going out to dinner again?
Cook and eat my own dinners. I can live without eating out, but I do not like peanut butter.
Have only fruit or only ice cream (and never eat the other one) for the rest of your life.
I guess I’ll reluctantly go with healthier over tastier - fruit it is.
Have all the carpets replaced in your home free of charge or the roof re-shingled for free?
Definitely the shingles.
Be stuck in an elevator for six hours with Gilbert Gottfried singing Ava Maria, or the same situation with Bobcat Goldthwait?
I’ll go with Gottfried. I actually think he’s funny, even though I don’t admit it publicly.
Would you rather have a dog with a cat’s personality
or
a cat with a dog’s personality?
A dog with a cat’s personality. Cats are so cool.
Would you rather know all of your faults and weaknesses or your loved one’s strengths and potentials?
I know my own faults pretty well, and there is no shortage of people who are willing to speculate about them at length in my hearing. But I would like to learn about my 7-year-old nephew’s strengths and potentials, because I fear he isn’t getting the support he needs in this life.
Would you rather trim your tree (or have it trimmed) or break the law, block the sidewalk, and screw pedestrians?