Chocolate malt because, well, it’s chocolate.
Do the wrong thing for the right reasons or the right thing for the wrong reasons?
Right thing for the wrong reasons-at least the right thing will be done.
Eat too much cantaloupe or too much watermelon?
Watermelon!
Raise taxes or molest children?
Raise taxes. NOTHING justifies molesting children.
Have a good income but be unable to work, or have a good job that pays poorly.
Option A, in a heartbeat. If I can’t work but have a good income, I presume I can always spend time with my family, read, write, watch movies, listen to music, waste time on the Dope, etc.
Go to the beach or the mountains?
I can go to the beach any day, but seeing real mountains would be special and involve something of a trek.
Live in a house painted completely fuchsia or lavender?
Both would be pretty overwhelming, but between the two, I’ll take… lavender.
Work for Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems or Weyland-Yutani?
Yoyodyne for sure.
Get bitten by a mosquito once, and have it fly free to potentially bite you again, or get bitten thrice by three mosquitoes, but successfully kill them all?
The first. I’ll smack it the second time it lands.
There are monkey-boys in the complex.
Binge on Lost or Rome?
Rome
Binge on banana splits or chocolate brownie sundae’s
chocolate brownie sundae (don’t like bananas)
watch the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ or get a free 3 lb bag of baby carrots delivered to your home?
Baby carrots.
Stuck in a elevator on the ninetieth floor for six hours, or stuck in a two-man sub on the ocean floor for six hours?
I’ll take the sub. Better view, and a more interesting story (assuming we don’t run out of air and/or freeze to death).
Eat a chocolate kiss or a peppermint drop?
peppermint drops are a bit less common so I’ll go with that
Live next door to Allison Janney or Rand Paul?
Definitely Allison Janney.
Live the first fifteen years of your life over(knowing what you know now), or the second fifteen(ditto)?
Setting aside the whole “if I’d lived differently it would have been someone else’s life instead” thing, I would opt for a redo on the second 15 where much more significant life changing events occurred.
Acquire complete and instantaneous fluency in the !Kung language or be able to achieve complete fluency in Italian with 90% of the time/effort normally required
Learn !Kung so I can understand what they’re clicking about in The Gods Must Be Crazy.
Jump from a plane wearing only a parachute and nothing else, or walk down a long, busy NYC street wearing only a ribbon tied to your genitalia?
Make that ribbon blue(I’ve done worse).
Have the very next stranger you see kiss you on the lips, or have your mother-in-law kiss you on the lips?
Hmmm… I adored my mother-in-law who died years ago.
So the question is, do I want my mother-in-law back as she was? Or would I be kissed by a zombie?
I’ll chance it. I’ll take a kiss from my mother-in-law, and hope she doesn’t bite my face off and eat my brain.
Sing the National Anthem before 75,000 people at the Super Bowl, or bat against Clayton Kershaw in the World Series.
I’ll bat against Kershaw. No shame in a strikeout there, but I suspect folks’ expectations for ‘just singing a song’ (albeit a deceptively difficult one) is somewhat higher.
Find the cure for cancer or that disease called militant nationalism?