There’s a market for Fox News, so another one would take its place. I’ll start my own.
Would you rather have a huge nose or huge ears?
Nose, I think. Rhinoplasty, here I come!
Swimming in the summer or ice-skating in the winter?
swimming in the summer would you rather be an only child or have 7 siblings?
7 siblings would be awesome.
If your family name were Hitler, would you rather change it or not change it?
Definitely change it. To Stalin.
Have your favorite team win the championship next year knowing it’ll never win again or knowing it’ll win five straight the year after you die?
Oh I would love to see Cal win the national football championship – or even the Rose Bowl – once before I die. And I am really not dooming them too much by having them never win again.
Would you rather lose your cell phone, or crash your car?
No brainer. I’ll lose my 1999 vintage non-smart cellphone.
Rather have wine, women & song, or beer, the ol’ lady, & tv?
Beer, 'ol lady and TV.
Be given $1 million, or the opportunity to go back 20 years in your life and re-live those 20 years with the knowledge that you have today? (you cannot use lottery numbers or invest in Apple/Google stock, or bet on sports outcomes, etc.)
I’ll take the money.
Would you rather peddle a trashy MLM product for a year or get a paper cut on your genitals that won’t heal for a month?
Ouchies! Uh… I guess the paper cut. A month of one kind of suffering is better than a year of the other kind.
Have your own submarine or jet?
I always wanted to live beneath the sea with all I need: Sky of blue and sea of green in my yellow submarine.
Have the chance to get anyway with assassinating George w Bush in 1999 or Donald Trump today?
If it had to be one or the other, sayonara Trump.
Have your right arm become paralyzed every Tuesday (functioning normally every other day of the week) or have casino dice for molars?
Dice for molars. I’m assuming I can get them pulled and get proper implants.
Walmart or Target?
Uh, Target?
Along similar lines, would you rather have your left hand cut off or your right foot?
My left hand’s been pretty useless since I snapped off the wristbone. And I like walking.
Live forever but never eat again, or eat all your want, stay healthy and never be overweight, but only live 250 years.
250 years healthy. Living forever would not be enjoyable.
Have your favorite team be bonused one extra 1st-round draft pick next year, or seven additional 1st-round draft picks from 2024-2030?
A little gratification sooner instead of a lot later; it’s the American way, dontchaknow.
A pound of salted in shell peanuts or a half pound of salted cocktail peanuts?
Half pound cocktail peanuts. That’s plenty and I don’t like getting shell debris all over.
Cake or Pie?
Pie, lemon meringue if you please!
Be limited to one hour of tv per week, or required to watch 15?
Wow, indefinitely? I guess required to watch 15. I don’t watch nearly that much now, but it would be easier for me to scale up and watch 15 than to cut out a lot of shows I do like and only watch one.
If they were real, have the doctors from MASH* or St. Elsewhere be your care providers?