You can decide for yourself whether said poster is a hero or villain, lone wolf or team mainstay, romantic lead or bumbling sidekick. If you’re especially ambitious you can go all out and do the whole insane Marvel Handbook thing.
Skald the Rhymer was the notorious Arch Villian known as Fabulous Creature. Seeking to further his quest for global domination, FC performed a magic ritual at the crossroads. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending upon one’s perspective on such things, FC took the wrong exit off the bypass, and instead of performing his arcane magics at the intersection of Hwy 61 & Hwy 49 near Clarksdale, MS, he performed the ritual at the intersection of Hwy 78 & Hwy 45 near Tupelo, MS. As a result, instead of summoning Old Scratch and learning to play the guitar, FC summoned a mysterious figure with sideburns and a white jumpsuit studded with rhinestones. FC was offered a peanut butter & bannana sandwhich, which he accepted and ate. Unbeknownst to FC, the sandwhich was indused with the Power of the King, and purged all evil from his soul. The de-villified FC then realized his true destiny…to entertain the world with stories and mirth as Skald the Rhymer. He now wields a mystic fountain pen acquired in subsequent adventures…
Odin was able to negotiate perfect wisdom for his eye, but the minister couldn’t do any better than being turned to oak in exchange for his i. At least he didn’t just give it away.
Ultrafilter used to be a sponge, not a normal one, the mightiest sponge in the whole sea. One day he found the ring of ultra and became ultrafilter.
When the Justice League realized their coffee wasn’t that good, they turned to Dr Vaun Jaldez, to create the ultimate coffee filter - the ultrafilter.
Edit - bah, no fair!
Wisthekiller and Tengu were just normal people, until the day they were accidentally exposed to Uncle Cecil’s Radioactive Breath Spray (Fighting the Smell of Ignorance since 1994).
KneadToKnow was once an ordinary baker. After kneading radioactive bread dough, he gained his mighty BreadBrain!
<DUN-DUN-DAAAA!>
Bosda Di’Chi was rocketed from the doomed planet of Tricor as a baby. Adopted by human parents, he was traumatised by the brutal murder of his adopted parents. He was inspired to adopt a costumed persona to fight criminals like those who killed his parents when a radioactive bat flew through a window and bit him, granting him batlike powers. Supplementing these powers with a power ring and flying silver surfboard he retrieved from the rocket that sent him to Earth, he fights crime in his parent’s name.
The dark secret of Starfleet is this: they can afford to expend so many security officers because security officers are all clones, created in defiance of the ban on genetic engineering that was enacted at the end of the Eugenics Wars (and modified to vary slightly in appearance). These officers are all bred to accept their high death rate without complaint.
But in one case this did not one. One clone, alone among all his brothers, was immune to the brainwashing that causes the rest of them to march merrily to death by the hundred. That clone, incensed by the injustice that lies at the heart of Starfleet, used Platonian, Scalosian, and Betazed tech to grant himself both telepathy, telekinesis, and super-human speed. Thus empowered he has sworn revenge on the corrupt UFP in general, and in particular the one Starfleet officer who has seen the most clones die under his command–James Kirk, naturally. Until he is ready for his revenge he must travel under a pseudonym; the name he has chosen is, of course, Der Trihs, for he is the opposite of the average red shirt.
[side note, do not count toward the origin story thing]
Oy. The baking thing again.
[/side note]
Once a notorious villain hell bent on world destruction and conquest, or perhaps the other way round, he was bitten by a radioactive boyscout, only to become endowed with its proportionate abilities – to knit! To knot! To start fires! To erect tents! To weave little baskets from reed! Wielding the Merit Badge of Mightiness, and possessed by an irresistible urge to help little old ladies across the street, he is… Skald the Rhymer!
The Wit were the scourge of the Galaxy. Ten feet tall with 12 senses, force claws, and the ability to understand any technology merely by percieving it, they ruled the galaxy a billion years before the rise of mankind, perishing in the final god-wars.
In the year 2727 a team of xenoarcheologists discovered a Wit outpost in the Solathi system. They were astonished to discover the corpse of a Wit warrior, perfectly preserved in Katalite. They sold their discovery to Omnigen, who used the corpse’s DNA to create the perfect mercenary: Half Man, Half Wit!
Do-gooding time-travellers kidnapped Lucrezia Borgia and brought her forward to face justice. Trapped five hundred years into her future, the adaptable murderess learned to use the internet while awaiting trial. Her knowledge of sixteenth-century poisons enabled her to dispose of judge, jury, lawyers, and food court workers and escape from the courthouse. The clever villainess thought of a fiendish plan to escape justice for good: she found a plastic surgeon, lopped off a couple of once-beautiful but now sagging breasts, acquired a prosthesis, and became: Larry Borgia.
Dr. Drake arose from humble origins. Originally a humble biologist spending his days charting the local mallard population, he was horribly injured when a negligent farmer sprayed his marsh with improperly-mixed herbicides and pesticides. The chemicals burned him and the birds he was working with, knocking them unconscious and melding them together. When he awoke, he could comprehend the bird ‘language’ (more accurately, their emotions and intent), and his beautiful iridescent plumage made him a favourite with men, women and birds. Both his research and his love life flourished. As did his desire for justice and revenge.
There was a solar flair during a geomagnetic storm. Thus was born… Sunspace!
Sunspace floats around the galaxy, stopping rogue comets and protecting inhabited planets from background radiation. Someday, when the majority of sentient life is judged ready, he will reveal the secret of faster-than-light travel and usher in an age of space exploration. Until then, he is a lonely sentinel in the sky.
PS. If I’ve gotten the gender wrong, just flip the he’s to she’s.
PSS. I’m a she.
After a freak ipod catastrophe, an ordinary woman’s inner ear was damaged irreparably, then rebuilt better, stronger, faster (well, maybe not faster) - and given Jamie Sommers-like hearing abilities!
Unfortunately, whenever she attempts to utilize her awesome bionically-enhanced hearing abilities, whatever conversation she’s listening in on is drowned out by the “DOOdoodoodoooo” sound the bionic part makes…
My username ought’a be easy!
Falling into a vat of DNA altered schmaltz at a Kosher food packing factory during a battle with one of Lex Luthor’s ex-wives, Superman became new, improved and very, very smelly.
Years ago, a humble asparagus was bitten by a radioactive vegetarian. Now, suffused with sentience and super strength, carnivorousplant avenges his family and bites back!
Hit by a dozen neutrinos, this ordinary chamber became a marvelous room! Thus, Wunderkammer (known as W. Chamber in his meek-mannered alter ego) was born! Its powers: amaze anyone who enters it! (And thus, usually found at wandering circuses around the country)
Working on a digital camera assembly line, an unassuming line worker accidentally gets his left ring finger caught in the assembly machine. The end result: Now he can take digital photos up to 8 MP at any time with just the slightest flick of his left ring finger. Choosing to use his new found power for good (though still needing help with his spelling), he is now known by the name, “DiggitCamara”
In the latest issue of DiggitCamara, watch and see if he will survive the upgrade to USB 2.0.