I expect to see this any day now:
Hoshi: I need the Captain and T’Pol to join me in my shower now!
T"pol and Archer: O.K.
Archer: Now why are we all obviously naked together in your shower?
Hoshi: The Klingons have installed a listening device on board and only the sound of running water can block it.
Star Trek Geek: I thought the Enterprise had sonic showers.
Everyone: SHUTUP!!!
Wow…I’ve been Pitted for the very first time–and not even in the right forum! What an honor it is.
NCB, report to Decon and scrub your scrambled bad self down immediately!
What does it mean, “head cow”?
that’s MISTER head cow to you, meateaterfern
actually, I was trying to say sh_thead cow and didn’t know if it would cause Cafe censor sensers to kick in…
I got pitted in a GQ thread 'cause someone was taking himself WAY to seriously, so I posted some outrageous “facts” and they never replied to them.
All was a joke in this one, as you all obviously got. See, honey? They’re funny! Hey, where ya goin? Aw, come on…
Ah.
Humor.
A difficult concept.
Ah.
Jesus.
An immaculate concept.
**Cap’n Plant, **, the “head cow” is the boss of all the cows.
A s**t Head Cow is something else entirely.
Can I change my username to STHeadCow** ?
You Poor Mortals.
My Canadian Satellite is up, and in addition to planning World Domination, I just saw "Vanishing Point ".
But it’s Wearia’s turn, dang it.
Well, if he doesn’t hurry up, i’ll just go ahead and do it
Tars?
Was that another sexual innuendo?
Does your Mother know you do this sort of thing?
Now that’s a scary thought…
MamaTars: I’d just thought i’d see what you’re up to on that message board you like and…OH MY GOD!!! Your grounded when you come home for Christmas!
NoClueMama: Ha Ha, your kid’s a perv! But what is my sweet angel talking about anal sex for???
vivalostmama: my child is no cow!
carnivorousMama: How many times have i told you not to talk to those Canadians???
Mama Plant, everybody else is talking to Tars!
Wait, you got Enterprise already? Woah. I still got 3 hours. Hey and if I’m not there in time feel free to start it yourself. And don’t forget the cryptic comments wink wink nudge nudge
i just went ahead and did it because i’m impatient
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=146494
Don’t miss next week’s episode, when we find Dr. Phlox stuck in a Jeffries tube, and Enterprise meeting an entirely new species: The Fredonia
Archer: “Hoshi, hail fredonia!”
Universal Translator: “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do!”
Hoshi: “The Universal Translator is having a breakdown due to an unknown ethical dilema! We need the doctor, and he is still stuck down in Engineering!”
Archer: “Trip, get the Phlox outa there and meet me on the bridge!!!”
Tucker: “Aw, Captain, I was just to bite into a fresh apple pie. Can’t it wait?”
Archer: “Why are you always questioning my orders?”
Trip:“But it is a piece of Americana in this forlorn void that is space.”
Archer: “Trip!”
Trip: “Alright, Alright. Bye bye my American Pie.”
T’pol: “This is irrelevant”
The Fredonia: “I shot an irrelevant in my pajamas this morning”
Mayweather: “I…”
Crew: “SHUT UP!”
Archer: “Fredonia, tell us about yourselves. We are Humans, a peaceful exploring race searching for attractive women with big breasts”
Trip: “And pie”
Fredonia: “We are a peaceful exploring race from Tatooine that speaks in the metaphor of humor. Take my wife.”
Crew: “Oh, Please!”
All this and more on next week’s episode of Enterprise!
T’Pol: “How the irrelevant came to be wearing his noctural clothing is unknown.”
Archer: I’d thrash you within an inch of your life, but i forgot my tape measure…
Hoshi: Actually we all use the metric system now…
Archer: Quiet you! go phase out like Geordi and Ro again
Captain Archer looks out the Rear Window of Enterprise, sees the murder, calls the police, the end.
Rick Berman padded that out to almost 60 minutes!
Then Bobby Ewing wakes up and realizes it was only a dream (shades of Wednesday’s episode!) and that Kn**ckers killed J.R.
mc
Crap, I was hoping no one would find out. Well, you’ll never find the body. I disintegrated it into a tiny patch of goo with the transporter.