Yeah, he's gay - keep your comments to yourself, jackass.

The BBQ Pit
1

The office I’m currently working in is being redecorated. One of the decorators is quite flaming (sadly, neither Asian nor cute, at least not to me, but seems like a friendly, nice guy), including both ears being pierced. The last few times he’s been in he’s brought with him a very, very small dog which is absolutely adorable, but seems to be on the old and possibly unhealthy side. He carries the dog rather than keeps it on a leash, and it is very friendly but doesn’t move much and doesn’t make a sound.

He walked through the lobby today and passed one of our agents, who is, granted, on the older and more traditional side. When the decorator was out of earshot, the agent leaned over to me and said, “I don’t want you getting your ears pierced or carrying around a dog, you hear me?” and laughed. I chuckled a little, too, but pointedly replied, “My dog’s too big to carry.”

Listen, you neaderfuck, it’s all well and good that you’re an old conservative life insurance agent, and you’re entitled to your opinion, but why are you telling me? If you know I’m queer, your opinion is disdainfully noted and summarily ignored, and you can, for future reference, keep your thinly-veiled homophobic comments to yourself; if you haven’t yet figured out I’m queer, you’re far stupider than anyone has ever given you credit for. Yeah, a guy carrying around a dog is unusual, but who cares? The pooch is cute, is obviously on its last legs, and might very well be too sick to be left alone. And this bothers you how, exactly? I hope your wife is kind enough to push you around in a wheelchair rather than leave you alone at home when you’re ready to kick it. Just pet the fucking thing and crawl back into your dusty office and mastrubate over your next commission check. You should be so fortunate as to have such interesting, colorful, unusual people in your life. And earrings? Please - welcome to 19-fucking-85, you Jurrasic jackass. And furthermore, Einstein, he’s a 100% grade-A fairy - having earrings and doting on a dog is par for the course. Are you so sheltered that you can’t even relate to an amusing, harmless stereotype? I’m sure spending all those many hours with your head up your ass has given you quite a lesson in recto-colo physiology, but other than that, it’s left you way fucking behind in the social skills department.

Please be advised that from now on all your calls will be mysteriously misdirected, disconnected, or left on hold indefinitely. Thank you.

{sigh}

Esprix

2

If you do want to pick up your dog and carry it around, remember – lift with the knees.

3

Not a lame flame, not a great flame. Why didn’t you just tell the old guy the way you felt?

4

Yeah, just tell him how you feel?

As long as said dog isn’t shitting all over the place, who cares?

BTW, I thought you had a cat?

5

So, what, now all gay men have CATS?!

Umm…sorry. Haven’t gotten indignant in entirely too long. :smiley:

6

Well, I have a cat…

Of course, I’ve also got dangly earrings, more jewelry and makeup than my mother, and a penchant for show tunes, lesbian comedy, and the Pet Shop Boys.

But I do have a cat.

mission impossible music plays
matt changes into a black leotard with rappelling hook and ventures forth on a crack Skritchy-Skritchy-Behind-Kitty’s-Ears mission

7

Why don’t I tell this guy off? Well, for starters, I don’t work there - I’m temping and will be gone in a couple weeks, so why bother? I don’t have time to be everyone’s personal educational experience all the time - you pick your battles. Besides, he’s not worth it. I’ll just be sure to be extra nice to the decorator and his cute pooch to make up for it. :smiley:

And yes, I do have a cat, but, alas, I had to leave him back with Grandma and Grandpa on the east coast (and I’m sure he’s forty pounds by now). I miss my Bart! However, my housemates here on the west coast do, indeed, have a dog, and she loves her Auntie Esprix! :wink: She’s also a German Shepard and wolf mix, so she’s a big girl!

Esprix

8

Agent matt, please repeat message. You are proceeding with your crack visit-San-Diego-and-molest-Esprix mission, right? :wink:

Mmmm, matt in black leotard and theme music…

Esprix

9

Sorry – what’s “impossible” about that?

[sub]Hey, you started it :)[/sub]

10

when a dog is sick to the point that he can’t be left alone, carrying it around at work is probably not the most comfortable or healthy thing for it. imo, carrying around a small dog at work is silly and heterosexual men generally make a mental note or comment on other men acting silly. you are demonstrating as much of a lack of understanding of normal heterosexual behavior as he was about normal homosexual behavior.

if he knows you’re gay, then responding to his comment by demonstrating incompetent work behavior like misdirecting his phone calls will do nothing but further cement any prejudices he has about gays.

11

Frankly, I don’t know why he’s carrying around the dog - maybe it’s an accessory, I don’t know. And the guy doesn’t work here, he’s an independent contractor. Obviously the managing partner who hired him doesn’t have a problem with the guy (who he meets with directly when he’s here) or his dog, so why should some lowly agent? Is it unusual? Sure. But does that mean he should be mocked for it? Not likely. Next time you wear a tie that doesn’t match I’ll be sure to have everyone spread it around the office. Wouldn’t that be “normal heterosexual behavior” - gossipping around the water cooler? :rolleyes: And carrying around your dog is not “normal homosexual behavior” - it’s not normal anysexual behavior. The point is, who cares? So what? Big deal!

And I’m not going to misdirect his phone calls, you moron - it was a joke. I was just ranting. I’m far more professional than this guy will ever hope to be.

Esprix

12

I suspect a double standard. If a gay man had said, “I don’t want you getting your ears pierced or carrying around a dog, you hear me?,” it wouldn’t be presumed to be a “thinly-veiled homophobic comment.” Maybe the agent was flirting with you.

What’s a “neaderfuck”?

13

Esprix,

I understand the point of this forum is to rant up and down, sideways and widthways about life’s injustices. We can yell and curse about things we’d never do in real life because we all need to vent. But that said, there was something about your OP that struck me as a bit queer (heh).
It was more than, as others suggested, the fact that you should have told him off. But let’s face it, if you did feel that strongly about it you probably should have. It’s the language that you used in your OP. That sounds strange, but let me explain.
I’m not defending him. I don’t know what was going through his head when he said it. But it was a joke. A bad joke. An inappropriate joke. A joke that you rightly took offense at. But it was a joke nonetheless.
Let’s be honest, Esprix, you’ve heard worse things about gays than that guy uttered, haven’t you?

So what happened here? He made a comment directly to you and you turned around an insulted him behind his back to the entire world 100 times worse than you were given. A little disproportionate response, don’t you think?

So if it made you feel better to rant, hey, who am I to argue? But I think the situation would have been much better handled if you either 1) told him off to his face or
2) Let it slide. There are so many better targets worthy of your rage than this one person with this one comment.

14

Well, duh - then it’d be an inside joke. I’ve already aquiesced that carrying around a dog is unusual for anyone. It was obvious from his tone, at least to me (and I was there), that he was making an anti-gay comment. YMMV.

Thank you for that disturbing image. I need to go purge now.

You’ll understand when you’re older.

And Enderw24, child, you know I love you, but please don’t second-guess me. This was not “rage,” this was mildly perturbed at some moron’s ignorance. (Trust me, you’ll know when I’m mad - there won’t be any questioning.) And yes, it felt good to vent - as you say, that’s what this forum is for. He was a jerk, it bugged me, I vented - it wasn’t worth a confrontation in real life, but it was worth blowing off a little steam in the anonymous ether about the subtle but ever-so-annoying prejudices and bigotries that exist in the world today that I am the target of often enough for it to get to me once in a while, for, you see, when he insulted the decorator, he could have just as easily insulted me.

Unless, of course, we’re back to it being forbidden I be allowed to be cranky. :rolleyes:

Fuck it - I’m bringing my dog into work on Monday.

Esprix

15

LOL…never thought of that. It’s just that I remember Esprix mentioning his kitty before.

For the record, I HEART cats. I have two myself, and a want another one. And I miss my Fluffy. :frowning:

16

Far be it from squib to quibble, but seeing as how you rock, I trust you won’t mind if I take friendly issue with your “inside joke” exception if the guy were gay.

I’m not privy to tone, so grant that this particular person was being anti-gay. You didn’t really address tone in your post, so putting that aside, I don’t think it’s inconceivable that a heterosexual male could make a game stab at a little people-watching banter with a queer colleague. It just reads in cold text as being a wee bit flirtatious. If it were a woman who’d made the comment, I’m guessing you might take it that way.

I guess what I’m saying is that you clearly are an uptight heterophobic bigot. I think you should apologize to that agent. I’m glad I could help you raise your consciousness today.

17

Listen, squib-boy, I’m going to cut you a little slack before I get accused of being some kind of Evil Longtime SDMB Anti-Newbie Poster, but give me a fuckin’ break here.

Oh, please - first of all, this has been covered in about a dozen different threads, and second of all, if you have such a problem with groups of related individuals having inside jokes, go take a walk through downtown Harlem and cheerfully holler, “Yo, 'sup, my nigger?” I betcha it’d do us both a world of good. For the record, if the agent were gay and he’d said it, I would still have a problem with it if he meant it to be derogatory, and I probably would have felt more comfortable telling him it was inappropriate since we were “of the same tribe,” as it were, but if he meant it in a “aren’t we queers a funny lot?” kind of way, then that would constitute an inside joke. One can notice and give a friendly jibe for one’s foibles and still not deride them for those foibles.

Agreed, but if you’ll accept my description of his tone, it wasn’t “banter.”

People in this world assume heterosexuality - although I, of course, cannot be 100% sure, it’s a safe bet that the agent assumed I was heterosexual, and therefore could get away with poking fun at the quirkly little queer. If it had been a woman, and she also was assuming I’m straight, how would mocking another person and his pet endear her to me? If she meant it in a, “Don’t go turning queer on me, now!” way, then she’s equally unappealing. And if she did think I was gay, she did a lousy job of trying to sound worldly wise - would this have been her way of saying, “Why, some of my best friends are queer, so I’m allowed to make fun of them!”

Aw, too bad you failed, because that has to be one of the richest, most absurd things I’ve ever heard. But, hey, thanks for playing! Try researching some of my almost 4,000 posts sometime to see exactly how heterosexist I am!

:rolleyes:

Esprix

18

Well, here’s an interesting little twist. Just overheard the decorator’s female partner saying it’s her dog, not his at all.

Can’t even hold someone’s dog without somebody making comments…

Esprix

19

As someone once said, “Well, duh.” That’s how it was intended. I thought it was sufficiently rich and absurd to be taken as rich and absurd. Literal translation: Kidding. No offense.

Can you summarize the 4000 posts for me? It’d be a lot more convenient. Thx.

20

Time to familiarize yourself with the wonderful smilies provided to us by the SDMB; specifically, you might want to familiarize yourself with the :wink: smilie, which quite clearly indicates humor and/or good-natured kidding. I, for one, read no humor in your statements whatsoever, since, lacking subtle body language, facial expressions, etc., all I could do was read exactly the words that you typed - and they were not funny.

General rule of thumb I learned early on - sarcasm does not translate over the 'net.

Esprix