Yeah, I wanna have sex, but...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

…I hate you and wish you dead.

22

THEN I’ll have sex with you!

:eek:

23

Ewwww…no way…we’re married.

24

Yeah, I wanna have sex, but…

…I fear retribution from my Satanic Lord.
…AFTER Jerry’s telethon.
…I promised mom I’d wait at least til I was 12.

25

he he he – my favorite line
i would but it just wouldnt be any good for you

26

  • my nail polish is wet

  • Star Trek is on

  • Buffy is on

27

1)I’d hate to have to chew my arm off so I can leave in the morning without waking you up.

2)I’m completely out of full-body condoms

3)It’s been so long I don’t even remember who’s supposed to bite the head off the penguin.

28

1)…how much for just an oil change?

2)…that would make the Baby Jesus cry.

3)…who are you?

29

Yeah, I wanna have sex, but…

… you’re my grandmother!

… I have to go buy more crack.

… you smell of soup.

… not with you Mrs Bobbit.

30

… we’re not married!

31

He: “…but I have to go to work in the morning.”
Me: “OK, can I just hump your thigh instead?”

32

…only if Pat can join in.

…you can’t go near the “no-no spot.”

…the dog stays outside!

33

…I have to caulk all of my orfices in case I get stupid and desperate enough to do you.

34

She: …an alien just landed next to us and he has a ray gun.

He: Now that’s ridic–

ZZAAAAAPP!!

35

“…just let me finish this chapter.”

No lie. I’ve heard this one.

36

  • Sure, if you want to lick my gonorrhoea-infested balls

  • Does that smell like acid to you?

  • I just took a piss

  • Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , when I look into your face you remind me so much of your father (works equally well on both sexes)

  • I have Diarrahea and feel like a raging bull

  • Let me get this straight : you have sex with you’re wife
    after you’re married?

  • Man: Sure, please begin by gently sucking my breasts

  • Woman: Sure, (in a big husky voice) turn around

  • Woman: Yeah, but just remember I had refried beans in sour cream and taco dip this morning. Plus I haven’t brushed my teeth. And I have the cramps, so you can only use one exit-hole. Hows about a kiss for my li’l darlin’?

  • (Either sex): Screw you.

37

:confused: That’s pretty standard, isn’t it? Been on both ends of that one many, many times. It’s not like you’re gonna pick the book up again afterwards.

38

…what are you planning to do with that eggbeater?

39

…this is a hatchback!

40

… this is a Metro Convertible!!!

… I’m finally the first person to have the right answer to a question in GQ.
… I’ve just come up with the perfect counter-arguement for this thread in GD.
… CS has got some great suggestions for new books to read in this thread.
… IMHO has got information about something which I always wondered about.
… Just let me finish reading really great rant in the BBQ Pit
… There’s a thread in MPSIMS which describes our marriage perfectly!

CJ
SDMB addict