So my girlfriend broke up with me. For some reason, some of my friends and family insist on asking whether or not she is fucking someone else. Of course they aren’t phrasing it that way but that is the question.
I don’t know and I DON’T WANT TO KNOW! I’d rather not go there as a) if she did cheat on me finding out ain’t gonna make me feel any better and b) it doesn’t matter now, it is over.
So, please stop.
Slee
D’OH. I screwed up the title.
ETA: fixed the title – it’s the least I can do. Actually all I can do. Sorry about your situation. (signed) twicks
I understand where you’re coming from. Only concern might be STDs/STIs. You can have that checked without inquiring about her status, though a positive result might be a verification of it.
Yeah, like you’re ever going to act on that rather than spin around making plan after plan to test her into revealing interest.
Sorry about the breakup. Console yourself with their current interest in her status, because eventually they’re going to start inquiring into your affairs and trying to set you up with whatever rejectoid bimbo they know regardless if you share anything more than a common body temperature and opposable thumbs.
Hey, she was too cheap for a present. Still, I can only hope Sleestack knows how great a gift his being free of her is. And if the family asks that blatantly, I think you can be forgiven for replying: “You want her? You F-ck her! You got a Set ‘O Balls on you to be askin’, so go the f-ck ahead…”
Just remember, mein Freund, there’s a lot more fish in the sea. Than women, I’m guessing. On land, I mean.
So statistically, you’re really better off switching to fish. Me, I prefer to play the odds. The fish thing is plan B. I really hope this helps. High-five?
Yeah, these people who’re thoughtlessly asking about her seem to want to know if she cheated on you, I agree.
But they may not be asking the question for the reasons you think. Since it’s probably more likely that these people, being your friends and family, care about you more than they want to fuck her, you might consider this between-the-lines possibility:
Friend or family member: "Oh, she broke up with you? That sucks. I feel bad for you. I want to hate her, since she hurt your feelings and all, but I guess that would be a little bit petty of me, since I know that relationships fail all the time without it necessarily being anybody’s fault. So can you at least help me out by giving me a quasi-legitimate excuse before I damn her to hell? Like, maybe, was she cheating on you?’
“She was? I knew it, that bitch! She’s dead to me now! I say this as a person who loves you - I despise her, the ground she waddles upon, and the very air she pollutes with her acrid breath! To Newark with her!”
I dunno if there’s more fish in the sea than women. I mean, sure there are if you count, like, plankton, and minnows and various kind of no-see-um fish. Oh wait, are we talking sea only. Not lakes or rivers, and not oceans?
Fish big enough to date? Oh, man, I hear the seas have been over-fished a lot in the last century.
I think you’re better off with women than fish, number-wise, but I could be wrong.
I just want to know I’m stealing this and I plan to use it again and again until my friends all hate me for it, at which time I will credit you. “I heard it from some guy on the internet, actually. Blame him.”
