So, the only time he had gay sex was when he was having gay sex. And when he wasn’t actively engaged in gay sex, he was straight.
Right now, since my husband is at work, I guess I’m a lesbian!
How YOU doin’?
Perhaps they put him into a room him floral print wallpaper clashing horribly with plaid curtains, and observed through a one-way mirror to see if he flinched?
They jump out behind him and shout, “Clang! Clang! Clang!” When he stops responding, “Went the trolley!” they know he’d cured.
Funniest news story I’ve read in months - and this comes on a day where that astronaunt went bonkers, so that’s saying something.
Because Andrew Sullivan put things better than I could:
His two chief therapists weren’t by any chance named Adam and Steve, were they? :dubious:
Hallelujah, he’s cured! Praise the Lord and pass the vaginas!
Y’know, this is pretty pathetic. Even the reparative therapy assholes that pretend to be able to “cure” homosexuality realize it’s harder than just a few weeks of watching “God Hates Fags” videos.
I don’t understand how these guys can apparently belive that the sinful temptations of the flesh are so easily overcome, and that living a wholesome lifestyle is so easy that anyone should be able to do it. It doesn’t match with their supposed theology of a sinful degraded humanity that can only be saved from God’s Judgement (with the wrath and the smiting and the HEY LADY) by the unearned grace of Jesus.
Who says they actually do? Seems to me that this is a more likely version of what happened behind closed doors:
“Dude, can you just chill a minute? Do you want to upset the gravy train? All these people are begging to give you their money if you’ll just keep pretending to have the Good News. Are you crazy? You just have to be a little more, y’know, circumspect.”
“I already had that done.”
“Ha ha. I mean careful. Here, let me give you a couple of phone numbers. They’ll scratch you where you itch, and you don’t have to sweat through a call to a random gigolo. Okay? Good. Now let’s just hang tight for a few weeks, and we can get back to business.”
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the gullibility of the sheeplike masses, y’know.
[Rodney Carrington] You’re only gay if you’re on the bottom
Y’know Cervaise, I’d be really surprised if that was the sort of thing that actually happened. I’ve never been a high-level televangelist, but I imagine that these people never break kayfabe, even in private. Even if they’ve lost any religion (if they had any to begin with) the act goes on 24/7. Except in the actual “acting out situations”, of course.
OMG…I’m dying here…
I don’t know that you can generalise. I suspect (without real evidence) that you are right, at least for the most part. But there are straight out frauds out there. For example, there’s that guy Randi busted “Reverend Peter Popoff”. If you read the transcripts of what was going on (see here) Popoff and his wife and followers were being pretty damn cynical.
Haggard’s announcement of his cure was in the news Monday. If any of you saw Boston Legal tonight you will understand why I say that he has to have the worst timing ever.
So, if the guy was gay, but now he’s not, does that mean that the folks who were saved by him while he was gay are going to hell? Should they come in and be saved again just to be sure? Do they get a refund?
Theology is a tough subject.
Tris
An ex-GF of mine worked for TBN (before I met her, BTW) and while it didn’t “cure” her of religion, she quit after she realized that all the TBN folks gave a damn about was the monay. (She got “cured” of religion when she found that the folks running her regular church were the same way.)
That’s entirely possible. Government, of course, does a similar thing, placating the masses with pep rally speechs about the important and patriotic duty of paying taxes while fattening their own purses behind closed doors.
Regular audits; by, say, putting his cock in the mouth of a male prostitute and timing how long it takes until ejaculation occurs. Repeat this every couple of weeks to be absolutely sure you’re still not turning slightly gay again.
Hmm, no, most guys will respond to any kind of wangal stimulation – otherwise, how would one masturbate? No, I’d say he’d have to fail to be aroused by being genitally stimulated by a young man who reeked of Drakkar Noir.