You, John Q Doper have been sentenced to death! (what do you choose?)

I’m reading a book right now set in space. A character in the book has been found guilty, beyond a shadow of a doubt, and the sentence carries the death penalty. You, John Q Doper, reading this thread ARE that person. There is no appeal. There is no debate. You WILL die. Your only choice is in how you will die. You can be hung by the neck until dead. You can be given a lethal injection that will kill you in minutes. You can be electrocuted. You can be spaced. Hell, the captain will allow you to be put into an escape pod and fired into the sun or left in that same escape pod until you run out of air and suffocate. The choice is yours and may the gods have mercy on your soul (or whatever).

What do you choose?

Just give me a pill to sleep and throw me into space. I will be dead in minutes.

Hand me a piece of antimatter.

Apparently I, the real John Q Doper, enjoy more choices than the OP would like me to. :smiley:

It’s the chrusher for you, lad…and no sequence. Totally random…

From an old joke about the guy captured by cannibals and about to be burned alive:

Chi chi

If I had a choice among traditional methods, I’d choose a firing squad. But of the choices given, I’d pick lethal injection.

Nitrous oxide. Not that I’ve ever tried it before.

Death by Snu-snu.

Not really. :smiley: Edward de Bono is my Deus Ex Machina.

Are my choices limited to those in your OP, or can we request a different method?

If we can, I’d prefer asphyxiation via helium (with nitrogen as a backup option).


And, were firing squad permitted, I’d ask, please, that they aim for my head, not my heart. That way, my brain will be destroyed faster than the nerve impulses moving within that brain. “Dead before you know it.”

(But I’m told that the shock-wave of blood pressure from the heart up to the brain knocks the subject out instantly anyway, so even with a heart-shot, there’s no pain.)


I insist upon scientific accuracy, and this precludes artificial gravity.

Does a centrifuge chamber count as artificial gravity?

Or they could just tie the other end of the noose to a rocket…

(Einstein’s equivalency principle turns deadly!)

I choose death by Old Age.

I want to be hung (they was right!).

Seriously, firing squad. No blindfold. The rumor is that the blindfold is for the benefit of the squad, so I’d want to creep them out with my death stare.

There’s also the Schrödinger box from Endymion. (IIRC) Poisonous gas is released as a result of random decay; you could be killed in mere minutes or it could go off decades later long after you died of old age, therefore the state isn’t technically culpable. The hitch is that it’s basically solitary confinement until then.

Energize, Scotty, wide dispersal.

Having been slain quite a few times, I can recommend anything that causes you to bleed out in short order. Yes, the injury will hurt, but it’s not so bad, really. Not nearly as unpleasant as suffocation or starvation or a sword to the gut. I don’t recommend anything that destroys the brain outright; hypoxia gives you a, ah, “smoother shutdown”.

Hanging - as long as it’s done properly.

If it’s done right, by someone that knows what they’re doing, it’s over in a couple of seconds. Old timey hangmen used to take pride in dispatching the condemned within less than a minute of them walking onto the scaffold. If it’s done wrong though, it can be a horrible slow death by choking.

So yeah - given a decent, experienced hangman, then hanging. If not, guillotine maybe?

Or if I’m allowed total creativity, then there’s always something like this:

Warning - NSFW link


I second this :smiley: