You Know You Do ! So Admit It Here

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

I marry things. Random, often inattemate objects. Mainly random poles…even one on a random street corner in DC…(don’t think sick, think innoccent idiot ^.^) I’m married to…a pole in most of my friends houses, one at the bottem of a big Battle Ship (the USS Massachusets) One in DC, A few at hthe Wachuset Ski place (I think i scared the workers there…) almost everywhere I go I marry a pole.

Ha dum make too much fun of me, dun want me to go hide in my whole after just one post now do ya? Unless you do have soemthign agaisnt peopel who marry poles. ^.^

102

Zyada>

Thank god. I’ve been catching so much shit from my friends since admitting my penchant for singing and dancing when I’m alone in the elevator. I even have a favorite elevator song: Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World by Neil Young, or whatever the title is. Now I can inform them that I am NOT the only person in the world who does this.

Know what else is fun? Jumping in an elevator that’s going down, it just feels neat.

103

mayonnaise…bread and butter pickles…and crackers… YUMMY!

104

“Know what else is fun? Jumping in an elevator that’s going down, it just feels neat.”

Even more fun? Do that in an elevator full of strangers. :smiley:
Peace,
mangeorge

105

The colon is almost as good an organ as it is a piece of punctuation.

106

I scoop mine out with celery stalks.

107

Does anyone else find this a little strange?

108

I must admit my shameful secret: I read Playboy for the articles. I often read several pages before getting to the nudie pictures. But then again, so does my wife.

I am ashamed to be a man. (deep sigh)

109

::::eyes glaze over:::::Nutella:::::: Best stuff to ever come out of Europe.Five out of Five dentists recommend Nutella for the quicker rotting of your teeth.

My guilty secrets:

I drink milk out of the carton.

I go to Fantastic Sam’s for my haircuts and use a coupon so I pay only $7.95 plus tip.

If hubby is due home within a few minutes and son has a poopy diaper, I have the poopster greet him at the door, instead of changing the toxic boy myself.

I’m trying to teach my son to whiz off the back of our deck whenever he is playing in his pool or having naked time running amok. (Naked Time is only cute if you are under 4 years of age, sorry to anyone who wants to come out to Podunk and go au natural and whiz off the back of my house.)

I have secretly either thrown out or burned lots of my husbands stuff that he hasn’t insomuch as looked at since we’ve been married. I have to make room for MY stuff. (I use the When Harry Met Sally Wagon Wheel Coffee Table Defense.)

This could be the greatest sin of all, or at least it will affront the home owning guys out there, I do not cut my grass evenly and often have a few uncut areas and do not give a rip. Oh, and I pound nails into my wall for picture hanging, with the heel of a cowboy boot.

110

I actually like the game of Parrot.
The one from the playground. If a jerk calls you a name or tells you to leave, instead saying some other insult or “I don’t have to”, you just repeat: Jerk. You leave.

Not clever, but classic.

Works in the boardroom just like the schoolyard, although you and the other one both get your share of surprised stares from the onlookers.

111

I have stolen a single rose from someone’s bouquet at work just as I was slipping out the door.

I figure they won’t miss it. And the thrill of subterfuge! I’m gettin’ the vapors just recollecting it.