How will you know he alone makes to much if you don’t even ask?
May I be totally rude and ask how much you guys make a year? Because there’s got to be someway you can cut it.
Hell, my family’s far from poor, but because my sister was severely lactose intolerant, my mother was able to get her special, prescription-only formula on WIC.
Remember-it’s not just about you, anymore, or your husband. It’s about your child.
Sadly, gobear, as harsh as that sounds, I can’t help but suspect you are correct. I only prayer I’m wrong.
2 $0 up to $1,869 $0 up to $22,422
3 $0 up to $2,353 $0 up to $28,231
The first number is the folks in the house hold, the second is the maximum monthly income and the 3rd is maximum yearly income. I can’t tell if the household members include new baby or not, but if it does and you quit job and stay home, your husband will need to bring in less that $28,231 a year. My first job as a lawyer paid $30,000 (mind you it was a rural area) so I’m thinking you might qualify.
I call bullshit as well. Social service agents don’t generally laugh and hang up on people that are calling them for help. Just more drama and “Look at me, I’m a martyr!!” nonsense, IMO.
But if you go to work, and your whole check goes to daycare and formula, how will it be any different? If you stay home, no daycare costs, and if you’re successful breastfeeding (not everyone is, but you’ve got a good shot at it if you give it a go) you won’t have formula costs. Bang–that’s your whole paycheck right there. If you can’t cover those regular costs after that, you won’t cover them if you work, either.
Sit down and actually do the math. Really, truly find out what Social Services might be able to do for you. The long and the short of it is, if you can’t pay for neccesities without your minimum wage job, you can’t pay for them with it either, and will likely be digging yourself in deeper. It’s time to ditch the cable and head for the library and check out the Tightwad Gazette. It’s time to say sayonara to your fast food job and start studying math–start at the library again–so that when kiddo is ready for school you can take that one last class, pass it, and get the hell out of Minimum Wage City. It’s well past time to stop making excuses and bite the bullet.
Notice that nobody is jumping in to say that in some circumstances a post-partum fast-food job may actually be described as remotely practical, 80sHMM?
That’s because most people capable of suggesting such a thing have either died of chronic stupidity or have long-since been institutionalized due to the combination of stress and hopeless poverty.
It’s not too late for you, though-- although you’re right up there on the edge.
I don’t think you’re understanding. This is as ridiculous as saying you’ll walk out of brain surgery half way because you’ve got dinner reservations.
Even if you eat a jar of crisco and your baby is miraculously snake shaped and slips out onto the floor without you pushing…You just…CAN’T. If you’re breastfeeding (which, IMHO is CRUCIAL) the baby needs you ALL. THE. TIME. Papa can’t lactate…and you need to bond with a newborn. It NEEDS IT’S MOTHER.
Giving the benefit of the doubt that you could possibly be making $7 an hour, working 40 hours a week… that’s $1120 a month.
I’ve been seeing about $200 a week for day care, brings it to $320.
If that $320 can cover the cost of formula and taxes and gas money to get to and from work then go for it.
Then there’s the possibility that the extra $13440 a year will disqualify you from programs like WIC. That’s actually taking money away from you. Also it probably sticks you in a higher tax bracket, more money you’re paying to the government.
If you cut out things like cable television that could actually end up paying for the diapers. It’s not like you’re gonna get a chance to watch TV. Any spare moment you get you’re gonna be trying to catch up on sleep.
I’m fairly sure this will be ignored or you will find an excuse, but right now is the perfect time to finish school or find a career. There are temp agencies that are always looking for people to fill in secretarial jobs or factories. It might be shit work but it pays a hell of a lot better than what you’re doing now.
Not that I think this is anything close to being ideal, but if your husband has paid vacation time coming to him, maybe he could talk to his boss about just taking the money instead of the time off. I know not all places will do this, but the last place I worked did. That way you can take the time off work, without any loss of income. Just an idea, wouldn’t hurt to ask.
That’s exactly how much I make, but I don’t always get 40 hrs a week. This week I think I have around 25-30. Last week I was lucky to get 20. But whatever little income I get helps keep us afloat.
Magayuk–I’ll ask, but I don’t think it works that way where he works.
I realize that which is why I’m going to buy a breast pump to try and pump enough for the kid prior to my shifts so that when I’m not home, he can give the damn kid a bottle. Maybe it’ll end up being half breastfeeding and half formula, hell if I know at the moment. I realize the kid will need his/her mother but if I can’t be home, I can’t be home. Sometimes life works out that way, y’know.
If you dont want people making fun of the shit stains on your underwear, dont hang it out to dry.
You should feel privelaged that anyone would care enough to waste their time commenting at all. I mean, attention is all that you want anyway, or you wouldnt have a damn blog in the first place. Why would anyone think reading about your problems/successes is more interesting than thinking about their own?
It is abundantly clear to everyone but you that life is not that way. If you proceed as though it were, it will be a great detriment to both you and your child.
If you really are so completely unable to prioritize or to grasp the fundamentals of your situation, maybe you should consider adoption? That way you can still meet your central obligation of manning the deep fryer.
Jesus Christ. I sincerely hope you’re a 45 year old man playing onlne dressup for a wheeze, because if you’re the real deal, your offspring doesn’t stand a chance. Seriously.
When you spend more money than you earn just trying to keep the job it’s not worth it.
BTW, why can’t he take a second job and work it during his vacation? It could bring in the same amount of money. That way it would give you the chance to recover from child birth and bond with your child.
I think that’s an excellent idea, wish I would have posted it. My dad worked two jobs after I was born, after my mother had to quit her job. He worked as an engineer for goodyear during the day, and worked the only other job he could find that would fit his hours at night, he worked sales (I don’t know if they called it retail way back then, but that’s what it was). This was a man with two engineering degrees, but that was the only way he could make enough money to support both of us. I am sure he didn’t enjoy it, but life is hard like that sometimes, and he knew it would be better for everyone if mom could stay home. (fortunetly he got a much better full time job a year later, so he could get out of retail entirely).
Having managed more than one resturant and other businesses in my lifetime, I can tell you that it won’t matter whether or not you want to go back to work. If your employer doesn’t want a Workman’s Comp claim (at the very least) he won’t let you come back to work after a WEEK after having a baby. Two words, babycakes:
Doctor’s Release.
And you ain’t gonna get one after a week. Or two. Or three.
Your body goes through a tramautic event with the birth of a child and it takes TIME to recover. Hell, I was in excellent physical condition after Shannara was born and I was told not to stand on my feet for very long-not even to do dishes, that was too long-and no stair climbing.
That’s not mentioning the fact that the baby has to be at least 6 weeks old for a licensed day care provider to take it.
You don’t make enough money to pay someone else to take care of “the damn kid”.
Mother/child interaction triggers a cascade of hormones that encourage lactation, you are not a machine that can be goaded into milk production by applying suction to your nipples.
Nor is “the damn kid” a reasoning creature that will understand that you can’t be home. All “the damn kid” will know is that it’s got a whole host of developmental triggers that aren’t being met.
Would it help you at all to know that proper parenting actions cause a release of addictive, euphoria inducing endocrine chemicals? Not only do you not have to work, you get free drugs!
All the arguments of how laughable it is to plan to go back to work a week after giving birth, or how detrimental to the development of “the damn kid” it will be are all secondary to a simple matter of math:
It is less expensive for you to stay home and care for your own child.
“We’ll lose one of the cars.” Why do you need two cars? So you can both get to work? If you’re working at home, you don’t need a car to get to work. Factor in what you can save on insurance, gas, and maintenance. Can you make the house payment yet? How long will the money from selling the car cover the shortfall? What about selling both cars and buying something more modest? Again, how do savings on insurance, gas, maintenance factor it? Can you make the house payment? How long will the shortfall be covered?
Don’t try to pass off “I don’t want to” as “I can’t”. The damn kid isn’t going to give a damn what you want for several years, and, trust me, you can… even if you can’t, guess what? you will.