Okay, I love Diet Coke. Let me amend that- I love Diet Coke… with LIME.
Diet Coke, by itself, has a faintly petrochemical aftertaste. Add a bit of lime, though, and it transforms into the nectar of the gods. I even keep a squeezer bottle of lime juice up here in the office, so that I can enjoy my Diet Coke with Lime whenever I want.
Diet Coke must’ve heard about this. And so, in typical evil corporation manner, they took a great idea…
… AND SCREWED IT UP.
They put lemon in it, not lime. And apparently, the only lemon they could find was the same stuff used in furniture polish.
Aw crap. How the hell do I get this taste out of my mouth? Wonder if I can find a dead rat or something? Anything’s got to be better than this.
First, any fool not raised in a cardboard box in the woods knows that you drink Diet Coke with lemon, not lime. Lime is a poor substitute, only to be accepted if fresh lemon is unavailable.
Second, you are absolutely right – the new DC with lemon is godawful. It tastes much more chemical-y, not less – so much of chemicals in fact that it resembles what I imagine Lemon Pledge would taste like. I hated it.
I was raised in a cardboard box and I know you drink DC with lemon. But I have to agree, the new lemon Diet Coke tastes like piss, and I should know (being raised in a box and all.) I don’t know if the problem is too much lemon, or if it is the chemical substitute for lemon or what, but the stuff is nasty.
According to Poundstone’s book Big Secrets, both Pepsi and Coke (and all other “cola” drinks) are fantasia blends constructed of the triumvirate of cinnamon, vanilla, and citrus oils. So Coke’s got citrus and Pepsi’s got vanilla. The prevailing theory, he claims, is that Pepsi goes harder on lemon, and Coke dumps in more Orange. (These are oils, not juices, recall. And there are other weird oils in there, like neroli and lavender, it’s speculated.)
Pepsi, in fact, marketed a diet version with overt lemon. It’s surprising to see Coke following Pepsi’s lead. But maybe they couldn’t get people as excited about Diet Coke with Orange.
You take that back, ya fecking infidel. Irn-bru is liquid nectar from the gods themselves.
You want an example of it’s divine powers? Simple, I present the worlds finest hangover cure. Crack open two cans of irn bru as you retire after an evenings refreshments. The next day, as you awaken to feelings of nausea and a suspicion that you tried to trepan yourself the night before, down the now flat irn-bru. Within minutes all will be right in your world.