You said what now?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have an acquaintance I know through a good friend. We’ve only met a few times and have spoken very briefly each time.

She was at a birthday party given by my friend for her son; one of those bouncy house places. Acquaintance had brought her own kid to the party. I took the StormKids, and off they went to play with the others.

The parents were standing around chatting with each other, including Friend and Acquaintance. Eventually, Acquaintance gets around to talking about her church, the things she’s doing there and so on. I’m not really participating in that part of the conversation, just listening.

Acquaintance then asked me in front of the others, “Storm, what church do you go to?”

I’ve got a canned answer prepared for when I get that question. “StormFamily is not affiliated with any particular church.” Delivered blandly and with no particular force or intonation, meant to politely fob off further inquiry.

Acquaintance: (From memory, not verbatim but this was the essence of it) “Oh, you should come to my church! Church of Christ (I think that’s what it was called) is one of the best around, we have great ice cream socials right after church in the common area so we can welcome new members or people who are thinking about joining us.”

I realized she may genuinely not have gotten the full meaning of my earlier statement so I decided to be more direct, and I responded politely: “I appreciate the invitation, thank you; but StormFamily is not associated with the Christian faith. I appreciate your generous offer, though.”

Wow. She got this look on her face as though she were *frightened * of me.

Acquaintance: “Um, what faith are you?”

I grit my teeth and at this point I want to waggle my fingers above my head, yell BOO! and proclaim my membership in the Church of Satan. :rolleyes:

(StormSpouse was raised Shinto but we aren’t associated with any organized religion at this point.)

Storm: “Well, that’s a personal matter. Thanks for understanding.”

Acquaintance: “Well, some people worship false idols but when you become covered in the blood of Christ he can save you from all that.”

Friend intervened just then and gently led Acquaintance away out of the group of parents, whose mouths were agape by that time.

So they all started talking a mile a minute after she was gone and they discussed at length how they couldn’t believe what she said, yadda yadda yadda.

You know, I can’t get up the vitriol to pit her. I’m not even really upset about it, I just feel a strange, inexplicable emotion I can’t name - sort of an irritation that yet again I found myself going through the QnA about religion and a strange sort of pity for her. I can’t fully explain it.

Friend is a Christian, knows we are not and it’s never been an issue for us in 15+ years.

I have a feeling Acquaintance isn’t going to be invited to too many more of Friend’s parties. :stuck_out_tongue:

2

Yeah cos you’re so damn busy doing laundry you don’t have time to sin. Bloodstains can be hard to get out.

Cannibal Christians? Interesting sect. *Please * tell me she actually said that.

3

Yeah, but who pays the dry cleaning bills?

4

Yikes. I saw a magnetic ribbon once that said “Covered in the Blood of Christ” and went home and made fun of it in my LiveJournal. Not to mock Christianity, but I know there are some less gory phrases they could use.

If someone said something like that to me, I…well, I don’t know how I’d respond, but it would probably end up with me being the one banned from future parties. Because to quote Cordelia Chase, “tact is just not saying true stuff. I’ll pass.”

5

should have responded: “Here have my address, could you please send a couple gallons? For evaluation, of course, we might arrange for weekly delivery if we are pleased with it.”

6

Oh, she said that all right. I always think up my best comebacks way too late, though.

Maybe I should have asked her where she gets her blood from.

7

I’m an Izzardite. We’re covered in the bees of Christ.

8

In response to her remark about being bathed in the blood of christ I might have replied “Oooh, that doesn’t sound safe what with hepatitis, H.I.V., and all that.”

9

Crap like in the OP is one thing I definitely do NOT miss about the West. Ah, the pleasures of living in a total, non-Christian environment.

But you still run into it occasionally even here. I remember one time being accosted by a white female Jehovah’s Witness in my dentist’s office here in Bangkok! I told her what I always say when it comes up, here or in the West: “I do not discuss religion.” And that’s it. Period. I do not say it blandly, I say it firmly but not belligerently, and then I say no more about it, and they can stuff it if they don’t like it.

10

p

I like it! That sounds good to me, and it sure would get the point across much more quickly.

11

Seems to work. And anyone offended by such a stance is not someone I’d be trying to curry favor with anyway.

The Buddhists NEVER pull this crap. I certainly don’t miss it.

12

I’m fond of “I don’t discuss politics or religion.”

13

When I moved to NC a few years back I got this question a lot. A LOT. The great thing was, there was a little baptist church 1/2 a block from our house and I used that to my great advantage.

I was at a wake and a pastor’s wife came up and did the “Oh, so what church do YOU heathen Yankees go to?” Everyone kind of looked at me like they thought I’d tell her to mind her own business, but instead I said “OH! We’re very fortunate. There’s a really nice baptist church not 1/2 a block from our house. The people there are very nice and welcoming.”

This is true, by the way- when I walked my dogs past the church and people were coming in and out the people were always very nice and welcoming. I never said I attended the church, but it did get people to leave me alone.

The worst case I ever saw of this was when a friend got the bad news that her mother was basically on her death bed and she had to fly immediately back to NY to be with her. Our “saved” friend asked her “Has she been saved?” and when my friend declined to answer, she went on to tell her how her mother’s soul would be burning in the enternal lake of fire. Nice.

14

Did your “saved” friend also get to be your ex-friend? I never would have spoken to that person again.

15

I like that - I think I’ll adapt it to, “I don’t discuss politics, religion, or my reproduction.”

Electrical Storm, I’ve felt that strange, inexplicable emotion many times. It’s made up of, “I just told you quite clearly and politely that I don’t want to discuss this, yet you’re still pushing me. We’re in a social setting, so I don’t really want to yell at you or make a scene, but you need to back way off of me now.” Part of it is feeling that your responses are limited by not wanting to be an ass, but this person keeps pushing you.

People like this are tough to deal with - they don’t seem to understand anything less than a scorched-earth response, and then you feel like the asshole.

16

Here’s a universal reply that can be used in response to many rude, prying questions:
“If you’ll forgive me for not answering, I’ll forgive you for asking?”
If you deliver it as a question it usually stops people cold and often red faced. If they persist, you can either ignore them, or explain to them how rude they are.

17

the next time you hear this just say “According to my religion, when you die your soul goes into the lake of eternal fire. Our souls get to sit on the bank and roast marshmallows over you.”

18

I really like this response. My one concern is that it may be too subtle for the people who insist on asking about my religion. I may have to keep Rhubarb’s suggestion as a back up. :smiley:

Electrical Storm, I’ve also gotten the “GASP You’re not Christian?!” reaction. I don’t blame you for being annoyed.

19

If that doesn’t work, do you try the following?

20

Interupt & say “Yeah, well I never liked that Sanjaya guy anyway” and walk away.