Go talk to her parents. Right now, if at all possible. If she gets pissed at you for reporting her as having sex with someone twice her age, wash your hands of the whole relationship with her and tell her to go to hell.
Great advice there. I’m sure New Yorklebee is just itching to tell her best friend to “go to hell” and never talk to her again.
Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do. Doesn’t even sound like they’re best friends anymore, but what the hell do I know?
NY, may I ask how old you are as well?
I turned 18 in late August.
Give me a fucking break. I was “bangin’ boots” with a 30-year-old when I was fifteen, and I didn’t end up on the game.
There was an attraction based on mutual interests – art, film, and literature. She was a great chess player. She turned me on to Rabelais and Robert Anton Wilson. We went to plays and gigs. I met her when we were both doing a show at a radio Co-op, and we hit it off immediately.
I wasn’t interested in girls my own age because their conversation rarely got more interesting than “Do you like Duran Duran?” and “D’yawanna go hang out at the mall?” Even when I ignored that in the interest of getting laid, I learned that they were apt to be sexually inept. It was totally liberating to finally meet someone that I could have an intelligent conversation and spectacular sex with.
By the time my eighteenth rolled around, we were living together. We had a great eight-year relationship, and even since it ended, we’ve remained lifelong friends.
Don’t pathologize something you don’t know a damned thing about. It may well be that Madison knows exactly what she’s doing and John just isn’t capable of holding her attention. Fifteen is plenty old enough to have some self-determination over sexual choices, and bedroom legislation that ignores biological reality is hurtful and stupid.
That’s not to say that Blake isn’t a creep, but it’s hardly a conclusion that can be arrived at on the strength of a single simple-minded metric.
Why is Madison promising “everyone” that she wouldn’t cheat on any more boyfriends? How is it “everyone’s” business, unless she is in fact dating “everyone” (which from the sounds of it is not that far-fetched)?
It sucks that Madison cheated on her boyfriend, but if “everyone” knew that she cheated on previous guys, he had to have known it was a possibility.
Moral of the story: don’t date fifteen year old girls with a history of cheating on their boyfriends. And if you do, don’t hide in the bathroom when her friends come over.
I totally agree, and statistically, it’s made even worse by the illegality of it. Those who pay no heed to our society’s dictums in the form of the law are also less likely to consider their fellow man in actions in general.
Sort of like the studies of that those other victimless criminals, pot smokers, are more likely to use harder drugs. Well, duh, only those with at least a certain disrespect for the law are likely to try drugs anyway!
This just in: she’s been messing around with a guy whom she dated a year ago for the last few months as well. She wrote him a letter detailing her love for him (complete with flowery poetry garbage cliches.) back in August. He just called me up and informed me, because he and I are actually friends.
Like sands through the hourglass…
You know what? I like sluts a whole lot better than gossips.
I’m hurt, I need to vent.
Fuck off.
You’re hurt?
Oh, pardon me, I thought you were gleefully dishing on an aquaintance you feel morally superior to.
How exactly are you wounded by your “friend’s” actions?
How does the personal wrong she’s done you measure against, say, the betrayal of sharing the most intimate aspects of someone’s personal life with a bunch of strangers on the internet?
How exactly have you been let down by all this?
You’re just yelling “slag!” in the hallway, here. You’re not going to get the same reaction you get in high school.
I sorta have to agree with the view that this is her life.
If she wants to string up a bunch of guys and toy with them, then thats her prerogative.
You guys should not have barged in on her or have been snooping around. She obviously wanted some privacy. And hey, its her mistake to make, right?
However, if you are concerned about her (which you don’t particularly seem to be), then you could probably talk to any number of authoritty figures (e.g. school counsellor, her parents, your parents).
Madison = ho.
Blake = perv.
New Yorklebees = cheapass. Pay your goddamn $15 and become a Charter Member, mutherfucker!
Um, this is the Pit, right?
New Yorklebees, write this girl off. Tell her parents about the 30-year-old guy, and then write her off.
I’m sure she’s a charming girl in some ways, and I’m sure you’ve got a history with her and you don’t want to give all that up. But trust me, she’s gonna do what she’s gonna do, and as long as she does it with guys in her own age range, it’s nobody else’s business.
I get the feeling that most people in your circle knows how fickle she is. So if these guys still want to date her, that’s their problem.
I don’t blame you for being fed up with her shenanigans, but for your own sake, just cut her loose. You don’t even have to tell her what you’re doing in some drawn-out melodramatic conversation—just stop hanging out with her. Be polite to her when you see her, but don’t initiate any contact.
Perhaps in a few years she’ll grow up, but until she does, she’s gonna pull this shit on other people, and there’s no reason why you have to sit by and watch her do it. She’s just got to make her own mistakes in this one.
New Yorklebees, I don’t mean to sound rude, honest, but I agree with Larry Mudd.
Why are you getting so mad at Madison about this? Why are you so hurt by her actions?
Yep, I’ll take an honest ho over a disingenuous jerk any day. You’re not hurt by this unless it was you she was cheating on, and it sounds like you’re really just a smug person sitting in judgment of your friend’s sex life. She shouldn’t cheat on her partners, but it’s not your goddamn business to interfere, and it’s really pathetic to sit there and play the victim when your only involvement in the situation was your voyeuristic thrill at catching her in the act.
Let’s make it simple:
I was convinced she had changed, had become a better person. I was fooled. That’s my reason.
Eh, she wasn’t “honest,” that’s the whole point. She was cheating. That’s not honest. Sleeping around is one thing, cheating and stringing people along is quite another.
I can see where New Yorklebees is coming from, though of course now she (New Yorklebees) should just cut this girl loose. She shouldn’t get sucked into this girl’s melodramas, shouldn’t be a support system (a friend, whatever) to her. Just stay away. This girl can be a dishonest ho somewhere else, and have other friends. New Yorklebees needn’t have to hear about it anymore. This girl’s dishonesty should not be of any concern.
The guys can take care of themselves, since surely they will hear through the grapevine that this girl is the way she is.
If he’s 30 and still shoveling popcorn at the local AMC, prison would be a step up for him.
In all seriousness, many posters have asked you to tell her parents. I’m inclined to agree, but I would not do this unless you are prepared to not be her friend. If you do it, don’t hope you won’t lose her, assume you will.
If you are interested in remaining her friend, then talk to her about this. Forget John and the sad replacement of his parking space, forget the cheating, worry about the guy in the bathroom first. Of course there is plenty to scold and lecture her about, but if you are more interested in scolding and lecturing her than helping her, then just skip ahead to the parents part.