I could have made sure I was providing the service desired, which apparently you weren’t since apparently they didn’t properly recognize your great skill at pretending to be male.
But I’ll admit that your male culture is apparently different than my male culture. I find that I don’t generally have to slap someone in the face with my big dick so as to escalate things before I can be lauded for how I successfully de-escalated things. I tend to just skip to the de-escalating part, but apparently that’s magic.
But again, I do’nt so much have a problem with how you handled the guy. I have a problem with:
Your presumption, as presented in this thread, in determining that it was your responsibility to handle the guy.
The presumption that a sexual assault was the near certain outcome if you did nothing. And this is reinforced because women have spent the last decade telling us that 70% of them will be raped.
Your declaration that since you weren’t properly lauded for having prevented that near certain assault that you should have let it happen again.
That since you weren’t properly thanked, the ladies in question are “bitches.”
The idiocy of the idea of the “male part”
But otehr than that, once you did all of those, you handle the situation wonderfully.
Stick up for someone because you care about their welfare? Sure.
But go play your “male” role at home, with your wife.
Plenty of women cockblock for their friends. Sounds like this is what Barfly was doing for her roommate. Maleness has nothing to do with looking out for someone else.
Oh, and from today’s posts, I also have doubts about whether we should trust the judgment of a guy who was still drunk enough (hope your wife drove you home) when recounting the story later to blame bad writing on your drunkeness.
Guys, it’s not that hard. When it comes to these things, an easy metric is to substitute a gay guy. If a burly guy was hitting aggressively on you, what would you want your buddies to do? I’m guess it’s not turning the whole thing into a giant cock-showing contest, like you did. You probably want to politely encourage him to move on. The last thing you likely want is some big, tense, public, potentially violent showdown. And if you did want that, you’d probably want your buddies to at least consult you before escalating things.
And cut down on the hysteria here, will you? If someone is in actual danger of being assaulted, the only correct thing to do is to get them home safely. Full stop. If you think someone is at risk of being raped, your job is to immediately get them in a car or a taxi and make sure they get home. This is absolutely the only right thing to do. So if you really thought she was going to get raped, you fucked up big time.
In the end, these sorts of things aren’t about the lady at all, except maybe in the “lady’s virtue as my personal property” type way. It’s about you, and your ego.We are adults, we are capable of asking for help (and please see the line above if we are so incapacitated we are not able to ask for help). We are not toys to be fought over like children.
Actually, you know what’s actually rubbing me the wrong way? The OP’s insistence on continuing to wave his dick around all over this thread, and continued proclamations that it’s his big dick size-up that made the magic.
I’ve been in a lot of bars, with a lot of drunk girls. I’ve encountered unwanted suitors of every variety. Somehow, on a relatively regular basis, I manage to handle these things even without a magic penis to intimidate my opponent with. Often, it’s as simple as firmly stating “Okay, I think you need to move on now. This isn’t happening tonight” Sometimes it’s about asking the guy’s more-sober friends to encourage him to reign it in, and sometimes it involves moving to a different part of the bar or another venue. The point is, managing unwanted attention isn’t some sacred man skill. It’s a basic social skill. I’d venture that most women have FAR more experience with it than you do (hence neither one of the women in your story being particularly impressed with your little display.)
I had a couple guys decide to try to have a knife fight over a perceived slight to my honor. I slipped out the back door and grabbed a cab home while they were “having words.” Life is too short. If boys want to play king of the hill with each other, they can surely do so without having to put me in the middle of it.
Right, so just as I thought, your idea “help clear these guys out” is to let someone else do it.
I didn’t say it was certain, and that’s irrelevant. The point is that the way to combat a dangerous, crazy (his words, mind you) admirer is NOT to go “I’m sure she’s got this. If not her, then someone else, probably.”
Obviously that’s facetious. They’re looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Only one of them was a bitch. Singular. The one who decides to mock me for sticking up for her, who, I’ll remind you, thanked me this morning.
I don’t make the rules. I just play by them. There was a problem, and I took care of it. See my reply to monstro below.
It’s not about maleness, it’s about putting me down for being male. It’s about making jokes about testosterone. It’s about mocking my ‘male ego’. It’s about comparing us to animals. That’s the problem here.
I don’t care if you call it maleness or Neptuneness…if my Neptuneness makes a “dangerous, crazy” creep go away, and you make fun of me for being very Neptuny, I pit you on the Internet. It’s that simple.
Thanks for the hyper-feminist viewpoint. I already knew I was scoring well with that demographic. I have to say, out of all the posters on the entire SDMB, I don’t think there’s a single one with a worse record for being right or giving good advice than your record.
Right, right, it’s not about the lady at all. I like getting into fights. I enjoy the chance to break my bones. The sight of my own blood is good for the ego. Nope, had nothing to do with protecting people from danger.:rolleyes:
I promise you, even sven, if we ever end up in the same bar in DC, perhaps at a Dopefest or something, I will do absolutely nothing to help you in any way. With anything. No matter what. You have my honest-to-God word on that.
It’s possible you might have averted her conception that you were acting through male pride by avoiding a douchebag-sounding statement like “I have to play the male role now.”
I think that’s where you strayed, Chessic Sense. As you say, you understand the Male Part, but as others have said, perhaps you forgot about the Female Part. The ladies sounded ungrateful, but I would interpret that as them not having actually needed men to chest-pound and dick-wave.
Your instinct to stick around until the douchebag cleared out or your friends were safely in a cab was good, though, and I applaud you on that.
No kidding. Getting their rumspringa EVERYWHERE, EVERYWHERE, I tell you!
In a place whose sole purpose is to transform your wallet to ethanol, yes. Even Don Draper’s starting to look a little silly in bars.
Maybe an earlier culture needed the specificity of an adults-only socializing place without any distractions of entertainment or food. But you want to hang out and socialize these days, there are SO many choices that don’t involve a room full of people there to get drunk.
Good enough, I’d take it. An aggressive drunken douchebag is like an incident waiting to happen, a key figure in a lot of tragic events, and I can’t see saying “no problem here, my buzzed roommate and I can handle them,” much less being mad at someone else for doing the handling.
Alcohol-fueled machismo is likely to be a guy taking issue with another random guy who looked at his wife the wrong way, and I’ve been that irritated wife who used the “looking for a fight” line, which I believed true at the time. But the OP had none of that.
They haven’t grown old to the universe either. People have been fraternizing at bars since the devil was in a onesie. But of course, on the SDMB no one can simply just not care for something. Other people’s liking (and by other people’s, I mean humanity’s since Og knows when) is somehow met with contempt. You people are something.
And also an awesome way to illustrate it’s not about his manly pride. Oh no, he’s just a chivalrous white knight, saving women from peril, who does what he must with no desire to be praised. What a tool.
And hey, is this really turning into a thread about why people go to bars? I really do think my idea for a forum called “Humans: How Do They Work?” would be beneficial to these boards.
