**The Daily Show **did a piece on this last night. John Oliver was interviewing random yahoos from both camps, each convinced that if the other camp wins…America as we know it is doomed!
camps=folks who show up at the rallys.
Your candidate’s penmanship is atrocious.
Your candidate dresses in the manner of a male prostitute.
Your candidate tries to say pithy things but his wit is a hindrance, so it’s just mixed metaphors. Nothing is provocative.
Your candidate lacks comliness, and his female parent buys him clothes that invite ridicule.
“his female parent”
Alright… that line cracks me up, but I’m not sure why. Just didn’t expect that level of wordy inanity.
Another example of the homosexual agenda, obviously. 
Chefguy: {smooooooch!} 
Nah, Ted Stevens is Senator-for-Life, as long as them pork dollars keep flowing.
There was a race years ago (featured on SCTV) between a candidate who was a criminal while his opponent had just been committed to an insane asylum. The crazy candidate (John Candy) won in a landslide.
Seems reasonable.
My gal is red-hot. Your gal ain’t doodly-squat.
As reasonable as the election in which the candidate who was still breathing was so odious to his putative constituents that he lost to the dead guy.
My candidate makes broad-based speeches. Your candidate is full of hot air.
My candidate is sincere. You’re candidate is duplicitous.
My candidate speaks directly to his constituency. Your candidate panders.
My candidate performs cunning st…
oops.
Oh, and props to BG 
Your candidate is a hamster and his running mate smells of elderberries.
Your candidate is unable to explain to a satisfactory level of accuracy the roles and responsibilities of the Vice President of the United States.
Your candidate has cooties.
No, MY candidate is bad. YOUR candidate is pure as the driven snow.
Jeez!
I, for one, wish to welcome our new Z overlords.
What?
My candidate has excellent hair.
Your candidate looks like he got buttfucked by a lawnmower and then leaned down for the reacharound.
Yes.
[crabbyfawltytowerslady]KC Watt?![cftl]
Quesadilla!
:: takes off snark hat and carefully hangs it on hat rack as an assurance of my sincerity::
What Exit?, I came in here to make my usual boring remark about being evil, but I have instead decided to be mature and ask you why you think Senator Biden is a bad choice. Is it merely his tendency to misspeak? Because his gaffes tend to be simply amusing, never dangerous, at least to me. Also, are you claiming that Senator Biden and Governor Palin are bad choices of similar magnitude?
Your candidate eats puppies and hangs the toilet paper the wrong way.