This thread is greatly reassuring, now I know it’s not just me.
I am the Refrigerator Killer.
I am cursed with the ability to be invisible. Seriously. If I am standing still in a public place, someone will bump into me and say “Sorry. I didn’t see you there.”
I was going to say this, but in a different regard. It seems like half the time I am invisible to automatic flushing toilets, automatic paper towel dispensers, automatic faucets, and even automatic doors. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been at a sink wildly flailing my hands around until the faucet finally recognizes their presence and dispenses water.
This one runs in my family. It was first noticed by my mother and so far I’ve managed to hand it down to my kids …
… any time we go to a restaurant, we will be seated either right in front of the entrance, right in front of the kitchen door or right next to the bathrooms. The place could be deserted with a roaring fireplace next to a picture window with a vista of a hunter’s moon, and we’ll get the booth overlooking the ice machine.
Oh, the grocery store check-out curse. I won’t bore you with the usual (slowest line, person in front of me writing a check, etc.) that’s all old hat. The thing I’ve noticed is that when I’m next in line and I start to put my items on the belt, whichever item the person in front of me has that is blocking the sensor and keeping the belt from moving, will be the last item the checker will grab. Every time.
At least you get an apology.
Lately I have had too many people just a little too close than is necessary for the circumstance. Walking past each other? A micron between our passing bodies and I’m as far over as I can go. Setting up a blanket at the beach? Ignore the empty spaces and park two feet away from me. And then that causes a chain reaction of people squeezing between our two encampments, kicking sand all over me and my stuff. Cause it’s too hard to go all the way around and it’d be fair to kick sand over the interloper… no, it has to be invisible me.
I’ve started loudly saying “I’m just invisible today” or similar when someone does something egregiously oblivious.
Sometimes when people bump into me and apologize, I will say “That’s okay. I know I’m invisible.”
People do not believe this ability until they see it. One time I was standing there talking to the head cashier and someone slammed into me with a shopping cart. Her mouth just fell open when the person said “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” And apparently didn’t hear me, either.