Very close to my theory that the likelihood of an item in the store being discontinued is directly proportional to how much I like it. I’ve never forgiven Knudsen for discontinuing prune yogurt, and I’m certain they did it just to spite me!
Try the Cetaphil brand. I use it on my dry, cracky feet all the time. It’s great! Not greasy, and doesn’t smell like anything at all.
Curbs follow you?
Brilliant!
I thought everyone knew that JFK was assassinated by a future version of himself after the Red Dwarf crew accidentally pushed Oswald out the window of the Texas Book Repository, and had to get the Future JFK to come back and assassinate himself so that the Space Programme would continue and the Red Dwarf (and thusly, Starbug) would eventually be built…
Okay, but if I like it, don’t blame me when it is ‘reformulated’ or discontinued. Those guys are still watching me. 
At the risk of dredging up a too-long-dead thread, I thought I should post this before I forget again. Please forgive me.
I have a personal theory that, if you kill a ghost, the person it came from will come back to life.
Granted, there are some practical problems with testing this out—it’s notoriously hard to double-kill the noncorporial undead…plus, ghosts don’t actually exist—but that’s not my department.
I was just thinking of this thread, what with the World Cup coming up.
My friend was convinced that Germany had taken a dive in the final match of the '98 WC against France. When asked why they would do that, he could only come up with “they’ll get some kind of favor in return.”
We laughed, but then shortly afterwards they announced who’d be hosting the 2006 World Cup…
Someone mentioned socks and dryers earlier. Here’s my theory:
Socks don’t get lost in dryers. The truth is, the dryers are being framed. By who, you ask? Answer: The washing machines.
Seriously, how many times have you counted your socks between the washer and the dryer? Never, I bet. And the washers know this. It’s the perfect crime!
There’s perhaps some truth to that. You ever notice that there’s a gap between the washer tub and the body of the washing machine? And the top of the tub isn’t connected to anything?
An Arky Let’s not introduce logic here. It will only get in our way.
I think I’ve posted this in another thread, but I think Steely Dan and Van Morrison are the same person/band/whatever.
And I think Tiffany Amber Theisen and Yasmine Bleeth are the same person.
Ya know, girlfriend, that would explain a lot!
Tell Tim thanks for that tidbit. He must be a wise man…and I bet he is faaabulous on the dance floor.
Come on, Lissa, don’t sell yourself short! That isn’t a crackpot theory…that is scientific fact! 
State of Origin Rugby League is fixed. This is a diehard favourite theory of mine I will go to my grave believing.
mm
Even though I despise all forms of Rugby with a fiery, burning, irrational loathing and intense hatred, I agree with you on this one.
There’s just something about the whole thing that screams “Rigged!” to me, and if I ever manage to get a hold of the winners list for the next few years, I’ll let you know… after I’ve gotten back from the TAB. 
What on earth are you people talking about?
Whenever Kodak was having a bad year, they would pay Trojan to make defective condoms: there are more pictures taken of first babies than any other subject in the world.
Rap music is a racist right-wing plot–by offering huge wads of money to stupid, greedy, and often vicious people to demean themselves in public, the racists can say “See, we told you so–They (you know which THEY) are really like that.”
On a related subject–the custom of having deafeningly loud, thumping-bass music at wedding receptions–where a substantial majority of the attendees will be older relatives–is sponsored and encouraged by hearing aid companies.
PETA is mostly funded by the meat and firearm industries; it’s key leaders may well be agents provocateurs.
State of Origin Rugby League is a big three game series played between Queensland and New South Wales each year. Inevitibly the team which loses the first game will win the second, leaving “the game of the century” as the showdown decider.
It’s gettin’ kinda old…
mm
I believe that Organic Fruit and Veggies are from the same Monsanto Farms as the ones covered in pestisides, just marked up with a higher price.
This actually meshes quite nicely with my own theory that every single being appearing on a Sylvan Learning Center commercial is an alien! Now I know which planet, exactly, they come from. Thanks!