It may sound silly but make yourself a little note detailing your feelings and a copy of this threat, stick it in an envelope and open it in 20 years.
With decades of relationship experience under your belt, the slobbering savages component will be more clear.
preview…
You mean the link at the top of this page? 
OK, you know what? I’m SORRY I called her a whore. I’m sorry I judged her for her decisions. She is a modern 21st century woman who is free to do whatever she pleases. And my friends are all mature young men who have moved beyond their failed relationships with this girl. My knee jerk reaction was to call her a derogatory name and portray my friends as victims of her. However, our discussion here has showed me that I need to take other perspectives into account, and think about all of this from a less judgmental standpoint. So, I have effectively been convinced. I ask only that you read this and forgive me.
Why? Why do you keep saying more things? It’s not helping.
Hey, look on the bright side: she could have slept with them, then come back and told them that her Italian men were so much better than they had been.
So in a way, she was just being nice by not sleeping with your American-coffee-drinking friends.
Can’t … your piñataesque OP is simply too delicious to resist.
She could have just said, “I’m not sexually attracted to you and don’t want to have sex with you.” It would have hurt him, but lying to him and then shoving it in his face that she had sex with other people hurt him too.
So, if I am interpreting this correctly, you think this girl is a hypocrite. She professed to be saving herself for marriage, and then she didn’t (and had the nerve to tell some people in her “liberal” circle about it).
a) Changing one’s mind does not a hypocrite make. It is perfectly believable to me that she fully intended, as a teen, to save herself for marriage. Then she grew up a little, traveled, expanded her understanding of the world and herself, and decided that wasn’t something she needed to do. I think it’s ridiculous to hold someone to the same standards at 16 as at 21. Enormous personal change takes place over those years, some for the better, some for the worse. It’s part of growing up.
b) Saving yourself for marriage does not have to be a religiously-motivated decision. She’s one of the rare cases whose parents DIDN’T tell her to save herself – unlike all the stupid Christian chastity vows that wind up getting broken by girls in the (gasp!) exact same age bracket.
No, no, she vowed to abstain until marriage FOUR MONTHS AGO. These relationships with my friends happened within this year and the later part of the last.
How long do you think it takes to change your mind?
I get it…they’re the only ones who are allowed to discuss their sex lives (or lack of them…(snicker)) with other people? Mmm’kay.
Aahhhhh. I misunderstood that part, then.
In any case, I am doing the right thing and admitting that I am being too harsh on her. You can keep bashing my OP if you want but note that it is now not a very accurate representation of my thoughts, since my perspective has been significantly widened in this discussion. Really. I just want to make it clear that I am a mature young man who can be reasoned with, and not someone who will continue arguing a point that has been thoroughly established as wrong, digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole.
Question: what exactly was the conversation leading up to her revelation regarding the Italian guys?
If it included anything similar to the following lines, your friends got exactly what they asked for (i.e. the truth).
“Meet anyone special?”
“What did you get up to while you were home wink, wink, nudge, nudge?”
“So, what are Italian guys like?”
“Glad to be back with us American guys after those sleazy Italians?”
“Hey, you seem really happy, want to tell us why you’re in such a good mood?”
All you guys should just make your private lives a little more private from each other. Personally, I only know that two of my friends have sex, and that’s because one of them asked me if 3 days before her period was due was too early to take a pregnancy test, anf the other (she lived in the same apartment building as us) rang our doorbell one night because they’d run out of condoms and wanted to know if we had any spare! After about 16, it’s just not something you talk about with your friends.
None of us said ANYTHING about her sexual activity. She brought up her Italian sexcapade without any provocation whatsoever from us.
I was hoping that this would be your response before the pile-on got out of control. A lot of people wouldn’t have the stones to admit they were wrong, good for you.
Those older, better looking gentleman had figured out what we hadn’t yet. Men have something to offer as well. If she was not smart enough to see that, well maybe the next one will be luckier.
Some of the most interesting times of my life involved adopting a “bad boy” look and outward attitude. I could shed it in a heartbeat for a job interview or meeting. As soon as I embraced the idea that I had something to offer and that her lack of desire to have sex with me was her loss not mine, suddenly it was as if someone had turned on a neon sign over my head that said “I have a huge cock and know how to use it” I rarely went more than a week without a date and had numerous little short term flings with many women over a 3-4 year period.
Many of the women I dated liked the “looks like a biker but is actually a teddy bear” thing I had going on. They felt safe because I was big and dangerous looking to everyone but them. I was not by any means “sexy” by any traditional standard, and was easily 40-50 pounds overweight. Yet here I was getting more female attention than ever before, not by not caring or wanting it, but just by not forcing it.
It doesn’t matter. What matters is your dorky friends who think they’ve been horribly wronged by a girl who chose not to sleep with guys she didn’t want to sleep with! They’re idiots. Would they rather it be a mercy fuck? “Shit…I can hardly bring myself to do it, but OK. I’ll fuck ya. Just don’t tell anyone.” Yeah…how hot is that? They should be glad she didn’t do it. The shame would have haunted them forever.
Dammit! :smack: