According to a certain country-western songwriter, one of the “3 biggest lies in the world” is:
- This will only hurt for a little while
What’s your take on some of the biggest lies in the world?
Krispy Original - I survived the SDMB outage
First thing that jumps to mind is
“read my lips, no new taxes”.
Course there was the whole “Contract for America” that numerous people signed and still has not been fulfilled.
Or for the less cerebral maybe its
“I promise I won’t come in your mouth”.
“The cheque’s in the mail.”
“I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket
The standard three I’ve always heard are:
“I love you.”
“The check is in the mail.”
“I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.”
I’m sure there are numerous variations, though.
I’ve also heard “I love you” and “I promise I won’t come in your mouth” paired as the two lies men most frequently tell to women.
“Living in this complex world of the future is not unlike having bees live inside your head.” - F. Scott Firesign
My favorites are:
“This is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you”
“Trust me”
“I love you”
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Or how about “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Of course it’s you. Why else would I be dumping your sorry ass?
“I can quit anytime”
“You’re the best I’ve ever had”
“I love the gift”
“This message board is down temporarily while we perform routine maintenance.”
Of COURSE I’ll warn you when I’m about to cum, honey…
Yer pal,
Satan
‘Let me be honest with you.’
Cuz, shucks, what were they before that?
“No Honey - I don’t think that dress makes you look fat.”
Windows 98 is over 25% faster!
http://www.madpoet.com
Clerks - Just because they serve you doesn’t mean they like you.
This is the way I heard it:
- The check’s in the mail
- No I won’t come in your mouth
- Black is beautiful
“All the news that’s fit to print.”
Dr. Watson
“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
“I didn’t mean it!”
“I’ll return/repay it right away.”
“Truth in advertising.”
Veb
“Honey, that has never happened to me before.”
“I’m breaking up with you, but I still want us to be friends.”
“Men are simple creatures.”
“It’s only a cold sore.” D:
“I’m from the IRS and I’m here to help you.” 
“I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.”
The check is in the mail.
I’ll respect you in the morning.
The new Boston album will be released soon.
“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a cross?” – Bill Hicks
“I’ll only stick the head of it in.”
Krispy Original - I survived the SDMB outage
'You are more mature right now, but the boys will catch up in a few years!"----NOT,----EVER.
“Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.” Bob Dylan