The checks in my mouth and I promise I won’t come in your mailbox
Sure I’ll respect you tomorrow.
I would never lie to you.
No, there’s never been anyone as good as you.
Ayesha
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.
Of course size doesn’t matter.
“I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket
It’s not you, it’s me.
We can still be friends.
(Your construction job on the house) will be finished in two weeks.
I’m just happy to be here and help out the team any way I can.
I love my job
No, honey, that dress makes you look skinny.
ex to the recently dumped => “I will always love you”
“hard work will get you everywhere”
“flattery will get you everywhere”
The golden rule is a half-truth as well
Instead it should be:
Do unto others before they do unto you OR
He who has the resources makes the rules
#1. I only had two drinks at the bar.
#2. I had no idea that I was speeding.
#3. No mom, we haven’t had sex. We’re waiting until we get married.
I’m only your wildest fear, from the corners of your darkest thoughts.
“Krispy is original”. :rolleyes: <Ho-Hum>
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
I’ll bring you back the change.
I’ll tell you when I’m going to cum…
It’s not you… it’s me.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
For musicians: If you do the tour, you’ll be on the album.
In general: Respect you in the morning? Hell, I don’t respect you NOW!
“I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.”
‘You have the biggest penis I ever saw.’
‘I love your breasts.’ ‘You’re the best lover I have ever been with.’ ‘Ill always love you, heatherlee.’
“Yes, I know we’ve had a few before, but this is definately going to be the real Rolling Stones Farewell Tour.”
Coldfire
"You know how complex women are"
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
“It isn’t about the money, it’s the principle of the thing.”
“It was like that when I bought it.”
“That’s a great idea, boss.”
“I only use my internet connection at work for business purposes.”
“Don’t worry, my parents really like you.”
1.Of course, I think you’re very sexy, dear. Now, turn out the lights.
2.It doesn’t matter to me, you’re sexy no matter how much you weigh. Now go to sleep, I have to work tomorrow.
3.I have a headache/backache/my little pinky hurts…
Life is teaching you some painful lessons. But it is from adversity that strength is born. You may have lost the inning, but I know you’ll win the game.
I’ll call you…definitely!
Ha!
Here’s a quick dirty-dozen countdown of some of my favorite lies:
- “I’m not like everybody else.”
- “I don’t listen to popular music.”
- “I was into it way before it was popular.”
- “The thing I look for most in a man is a sense of humor.”
- “I don’t believe everything I read.”
- “I don’t watch much television.”
- “I am not over-reacting!”
- “I’m an informed consumer.”
- “It’s empowering.”
- “I know exactly how to fix your car.”
- “I read it somewhere.”
And finally, the number one lie, the one that brings a smile to my face everytime I hear it:
1) I can prove it.
I witnessed this exchange:
-
Hi! We’re here from corporate (HQ) and we’re here to help.
-
And we’re glad to see you.
Tom~
The cable man will be there between 9 to noon.
The taxi will be there in less than 30 minutes.
The bus comes every half hour. (At least this was a lie in L.A. in the 80s, when I took the bus!)
Said to a somewhat accomplished and dedicated musician, artist, writer, in a bragging and dismissive tone: “Oh, I used to (write/paint/play the piano) as good as you, but I stopped doing it.” (What a load of crap. If you were that frigging good to begin with, you probably would be still doing it!)
“I’m spending a weekend in Amsterdam on Business”
“Of course you dont look fat in that dress.”
J
Because Fido ate the Hand Grenade for me,
When the Tans came round to search the house at tea,
I said, “Take this, dog, and eat”,
He thought it was a can of meat,
It was the hand grenade that Fido ate for me.
“I’m not working this part time job for the money, I love dealing with people.”
New and Improved
Enright3