"Hi, I’m doing a survey on the worst, most overused pickup lines ever. Do you think it’s:
“I’m Brad Pitt wearing a disguise so I won’t be recognized.”
There’s an early Spike Lee film called “She’s Gotta Have It” which I saw a long time ago but from what I recall there is an early montage scene comprising one man after another reciting pickup lines at the female lead. Her favourite was a guy who said something like “Baby, anywhere you wanna go I’ll take you, and anything you wanno do I’ll do with you, 'cos I can’t afford not to see you again”.
Pickup lines aren’t my thing (and being single is a long time ago for me) but when I’ve mentioned this to female friends subsequently they’ve always said it’s a hellava line.
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010503 (Warning: acute nerdy humor present in link)
Keep clicking NEXT. Ignore the the second comic (it’s just filler) but Black Mage is just FULL of bad pickup lines. And White Mage is very capable of taking care of herself, thank you very much. Keep clicking until she agrees to join the party.
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
“Let’s skip the preliminaries… wanna get married?” I love Taxi…
“Excuse me but I know you’re not wearing panties”
“How do you know that?”
“You have dandruff on your shoes and I have some excellent shampoo”
My room mate once (while quite drunk) put his arm around a female cop’s shoulders and said “How YOU doin?”
Her response?
“Don’t make me tazer you, sir.”
This one occurred to me after assisting a female police officer last week. Shared it with a co-worker who agreed that even under the best of circumstances it was bad:
“You know, for ‘the man,’ you ain’t bad lookin’!”
Would you like to see my shadow puppet of Florida?
These are generally so bad that they’re making me nauseous. So here’s a good one:
Hey, this might seem kind of random or out of place, but I saw you sitting here and I just had to tell you that you are really…
really…
Beautiful.
My name is Joe.
Of course, delivery is everything. It also helps if your name is Joe.
I knew a guy years ago who used the line, “Hey baby, what’s goin’ down, besides your pants?”
It worked more often than I could’ve believed, possibly because he was a “bad boy”, and could pull it off. The girl’s pants too. <rimshot>
“Whoah! You’re pretty hot! What’s your name?”
Works well enough to start a conversation about 80% of the time.
A friend in college actually had a follow-up line for when he was turned down by the ladies. For as much as he talked about it though, I’m not sure he ever actually had the balls to use it.
“If your pussy’s so good, why don’t you eat it yourself.”
My favorite (from my better half):
“What’s a joint like you doing on a girl like this?”
It worked.
Hi there, you don’t sweat much for a fat girl do you?
>>>smack<<<
“Your clothes and my clothes would look FANTASTIC strewn around my bedroom floor.”
True story - I was out carousing at a dive bar with a friend once, who decided to put the moves on a girl. He pointed towards her and announced to the room at large: “I’ve had my eye on you all evening, and I’m playing ths song just for YOU!”
Of course you know he put the wrong song on. I can’t remember what he meant to play, but Nine Inch Nails came on instead. My friend was especially mortified when Trent Reznor starts singing “BOW DOWN TO THE ONE YOU SERVE, YOU’RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!”
The girl was actually amused (at the mistake, not the song selection), but didn’t go with him.
I once had a guy approach me in a bar on my 30th birthday and point at the ground - “hey, I think you dropped your nametag.” Near my feet was a sugar packet. Clever, but it didn’t really get him anywhere, since he couldn’t have been more than 21.
Posted recently on Amalah.com -
"HOWEVER, I did learn that I do still, in fact, have it going ON, as I got catcalled at from some drunkish dude who said, and I quote, “HEY BABY, I KNOW LAMAZE” as I waddled by. "
(She is 8+ months pregnant)
Susan
“I take it, then, that you DON’T want to look at my etchings…”