Best pickup lines

Hey babe, how about we go to my house and make a movie?

Yo daddy must be a terrorist, cuz baby, you da bomb!

Are you tired? 'Cause you’ve been running through my mind all night!

I’m not a doctor, but I play one in bed.

I don’t know much algebra, but I do know that U+I = 69

Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them!

and my all time favorite pick up line…kinda dirty, be warned.

I can tell by the look in your eye that you are wondering what my cum tastes like.

When I’m around you, I feel like I’m at a Scorpions concert…

cuz you Rock me like Hurricane!

When asked what his best pick-up line was, Hugh Hefner replied:

“Hi, my name is Hugh Hefner”.

From my dad, who apparently got slapped a lot…

[approach girl, put hand on her shoulder]

“Is this shirt cotton, or can it be felt?”

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

I AM WANT TO MAKIGN FUCK AT JOO; YEES?

If there is proof this line ever worked then I’m using it this weekend.

“Nice boots. Wanna fuck?”

“If I told you you had a beautiful body … would you take off your shirt and dance around a bit?” --Zapf Brannigan

“Has anybody every told you you have Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that doesn’t make any sense. Forget I said it.”

– Weird Al Yankovic, “I Want 2 Be Ur Luvr” (paraphrased)

The more I drink, the better you look.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Hey, I’m gonna go outside and make out; care to join me?

Now, this might sound like a cliche, but there actually is a party in my pants, and you are, in fact, invited…

I wish you were a pony carousel so I could ride you all day for a quarter.

Some unreconstructed lines

My personal favourite: “Get your coat love, you’ve pulled.”

Is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven?

Should I call you in the morning, or just nudge you?

How do you like your eggs? Fertilised?

Do you have any British in you? Would you like some?

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No? Do you want to do lunch?

Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

You’re ugly, but you intrigue me.

Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, “Let’s you and me get out of these wet clothes.”

You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? I could show you how to get one more.

(said staring at chest) Can I buy you and your two friends a drink?

The name’s Crusoe. Get used to it; you’ll be screaming it later.

Those jeans are very becoming on you. Then again, if I was on you, I’d becoming too.

And, from a very old comedy email – the top sci-fi pickup lines:

Hi, you must be from Tennessee, 'cause you’re the only ten I see.

Some unreconstructed lines

My personal favourite: “Get your coat love, you’ve pulled.”

Is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven?

Should I call you in the morning, or just nudge you?

How do you like your eggs? Fertilised?

Do you have any British in you? Would you like some?

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No? Do you want to do lunch?

Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

You’re ugly, but you intrigue me.

Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, “Let’s you and me get out of these wet clothes.”

You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? I could show you how to get one more.

(said staring at chest) Can I buy you and your two friends a drink?

The name’s Crusoe. Get used to it; you’ll be screaming it later.

Those jeans are very becoming on you. Then again, if I was on you, I’d becoming too.

And, from a very old comedy email – the top sci-fi pickup lines:

When Wesley Snipes was asked this same question, his answer was:

“Hi, my name is Eddie Murphy.”

Offering to use inadequate contraception? Somehow, even in the midst of these other pickup lines, it seems like that line would probably go over about as well as:

“Hey, baby, do you have herpes? Would you like some?”

“If you sleep with me, I’ll give your husband a raise.”

“Do you mind if we go to your place? Mine is still full of DEA agents.”

“You’re pretty when you smile. If you sit on my face, I’ll make you grin like a mule eating briars.”