-Was a avid collector of blue jelly dongs
-Would put wigs on watermelons and carry on discussions of Woody Allen films with the fruit, and record the discussions on Betamax tapes, which he would send to random North Koreans.
-Had a cell phone phobia. He hired an assistant to hold them to his ear for him.
-Had an Olympic-sized pool in his basement filled with goat blood and Skittles, which he would do laps in every 11th night.
-Was the world’s highest-paid pubic hair artist.
-Once shared a night of passion with a young John Lennon in Hamburg.
-Was the top purchaser of US postage stamps for the past 4 years.
-Wore red corduroys every Monday.
Cite? 
I hear he was hung like a Shetland Pony.
Honestly, given what we do know about him, I would probably not be too surprised if any of those were true
- He had a birthmark on his thigh in the shape of Texas.
- His birth name was Kim Jong-Billy-Bob. He changed it when he was 18.
- He spoke fluent Klingon.
- He was “Subject K” in a famous case study of Electra complex.
- He owned one of the largest collections in the world of Nazi underarm hair.
- He is a third cousin of Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta on his mother’s side.
- He is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the first person to belch the Hangul alphabet backward in one breath
Just for the record, have you ever seen a Shetland Pony stallion’s equipment? Most guys would aspire to that!
- He once kicked Chuck Norris’ ass.
And then Chuck Norris killed him. The media reported it as a massive heart attack, though.
Why a “massive” heart attack? You’d think a little bitty heart attack would have been adequate. 
- He had all of his teeth pulled and replaced with exact replicas
- He had Angelina Jolie on speed dial and he’d call monthly to see if she was ready to adopt him
- He loved Underoos and had an entire room dedicated to displaying his collection
- He never ate grits because he could never pronouns the word
- In his heart of hearts, he was a dancer, but his father didn’t approve, so he had to become the Dear Leader instead.
- He painted his toenails for funsies
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:6, topic:606874”]
Just for the record, have you ever seen a Shetland Pony stallion’s equipment? Most guys would aspire to that!
[/QUOTE]
Sorry, but next to mine a Shetland Pony’s manhood is tiny. I often forget that I am exceptional.:eek:
-Ghost wrote the movie “Deep Throat.”
-Did a spot-on impression of “Seinfeld’s” the Soup Nazi.
-Has appeared as an extra in every one of Chuck Lorre’s series.
-Was the original Big Bird, but was let go after repeatedly bare-assing it in the costume and pooping during production.
-Once made 10,000 free throws in a row, Rick Barry style.
- At the age of 22, Kim Jong Il designed a unique and clever layout for a series of one-page anti-American propaganda fliers. These fliers were then hand-drawn by Al Jaffee, who was at the time studying “Industrial Art and the Juche Ethic” at Pyongyang University of Science and Technology. The drawings evolved into the well-known MAD Fold-In beginning in 1964.
(If you look carefully at the early MAD Fold-Ins, you can usually see Kim Il Sung’s face hidden somewhere in the drawings. The subtle pro-Communist, anti-capitalist agenda of the MAD Fold-Ins waned after Jaffee won the National Cartoonists Society’s “Special Features” award in 1971, when in his acceptance speech he failed to acknowledge the role of Kim Jong Il in his work. That created quite a fallout between the two, and Jaffee has since recanted his earlier fascination with socialism and has continued his marvelous career with MAD Magazine.)
-Was a longtime Charter Member on the Straight Dope Message Board. Precisely which one is anyone’s guess.
The Grapist?
He gave the Most Interesting Man in the World pointers–and was listened to.
Contrary to what is understood, Kim did play a second round of golf. But as he only got seven holes-in-one on his second round (on his first round, he got 11), ordered that the second round never be spoken of again.
As an elementary school student, Kim was said to excel at mathematics. So, since all textbooks had to be rewritten to conform to his answers, North Koreans today believe that the correct answer to 23 minus 17 is “Thursday.”
Kim enjoyed playing soccer, and was good at it. In fact, he once scored 48 goals in a single game.
In spite of his disdain for organized religion (and his party’s official stance against it), he secretly advised many of North America’s well-known religious leaders. Among those who took his advice were David Koresh, Jim Jones, and Charles Manson.
He was a professional baseball pitcher for the New York Mets under the name of “Sidd Finch.” He could throw a 168 mph fastball. While wearing one shoe.
All aircraft were prohibited from flying within eight miles of him when he was outside without a hat. Otherwise, the bright reflection off of his forehead would cause pilots to become disoriented and fly to South Korea.
That’s a common misquote. The truth is that he once hung a Shetland pony (the pony was seen coming from the south and was hung as a spy).
While we are compiling our own list, here is a link to what official NORK propaganda has to say about him.
If you’re too tired to click the link, his shit don’t stink because he never shit.