This thread is actually intended to provide Zenster with a place to tell me what he really thinks of me without annoying Sue.
If anybody else wishes to use it for themselves feel free, but please make room for Zen should he wander in.
:: Busting out lawn chair, cooler full of Coronas, nachos and WWF-style signs ::
Let the games begin!
looks around to make sure Alphagene isn’t watching, then plops down next to Demo with some chips, salsa, and beer
Mind if I join ya? This one oughta be good…
I brought some wings if you want 'em. Marquis of Queensbury Rules, guys, okay? Anyone giving any odds?
Funny thing obfusciatrist, I was just starting a pit thread myself. You have this less than entertaining habit of always putting some sort of backhanded comment in nearly every post to my threads and others that I participate in. Why you seem so disposed is clearly none of my business. What you say in my threads is my business and it is disturbing to see someone who so consistently brings a negative attitude to the table.
I have talked to others that have met you personally. I have chatted with others who have chatted with you at #straightdope. I have met you personally. All involved, myself included, seem to reach the same conclusion that I do about how you comport yourself. You seem to have the habit of raining on other people’s parades as a way of directing negative attention towards yourself.
I do my best to bring a sense of camradery to these boards. I enjoy the give and take with those of opposing viewpoints and would like to think that I have made a few friends here. I see very little point in antagonizing people for the sole reason of being snide. I make efforts to bring a reasonable amount of dignity to these boards and am always willing to apologize for any slips I might inadvertantly make. However, I do take umbrage at needless hostility and veiled barbs.
If you have a problem with me or the way I go about things feel free to say so. Your OP is entirely bereft of any such mention. This leads me to wonder if you really have any real beef with me or are just engaging in sophormoric sniping. If the latter is the case, feel free to stay out of my threads and I shall return the favor. The world is nasty enough as it stands without someone actively engaged in being so ill mannered. Despite any previous differences we might have had, I made a point of personally inviting you to the Holiday Dopefest. Yet the posts that you made to the party thread contained your usual digs.
It does seem odd that you have the wits to recognize things like how I originated the pizza party thread but then go ahead and salt the yeast with obtuse and abrasive remarks. I do my best to avoid exclusionary games not to mention games in general. I would welcome the chance to sit down with you and get to the bottom of this thinly veiled animosity that you seem to direct towards me. If you are of a like mind, let’s take some time at the pizza party to talk by ourselves and try to get to the bottom of this.
I have no wish to sow seeds of discord. Yet I will not stand idly by and have them cast into my threads by you. If you are disatisfied with something that I have said or done, please specify it so that it can be brought out into the open. If you are merely traipsing about trying to provoke people for no good reason then please know that I find that to be pathetic. If need be I will happily provide quotes to back my claims.
Since you have been so kind as to show up Demo feel free to provide commentary. You have always struck me as a decent chap and I will cheerfully accept your remarks. You too Falcon, you have always struck me as a compassionate person and your gentle grace would be a welcome addition. Same goes for you pug, you are most definitely a good hearted soul.
If anyone else has gripes about my conduct at these boards, please feel free to post them here so that we can air the proverbial laundry.
I’ve got nothing constructive to say. I just want to be notified when somebody else says something constructive. Or destructive, I’m not picky.
No way am I betting on the outcome of this one.
Hmm. I’m going to keep my eye on this thread.
No way I’m going to a Super Bowl party where the conflict on TV takes a back seat to the real life action. Conflict isn’t my idea of a party.
I have met obfusciatrist both in person, and virtually - through the #straightdope IRC channel. In both guises I have found him to be a nice man. Anytime anyone has a question, he is quick and knowledgable. (His thoughts on postmodern philosophy, taught me quite a bit.) He can be funny in a sarcastic way. When he dislikes an idea or a person, he doesn’t couch his opininion in a way that will make the other side unsure about how he feels. If that means he is “Raining on a parade”, perhaps people should invest in a thicker skin, or be more confident in their opinions.
I don’t know that I am a decent chap, or a good hearted soul, but I like to feel that my opinion counts for something. (For that matter, I don’t think Demo is a decent chap. That bastad coming into threads with his lawn chairs, he like some freakish chap wanna-be. Just look at that shirt! All the colors. Yikes!)
Rasa:
Don’t let a little tiff like this keep you away from a dopefest. From what I have seen from Sue, if anything is occuring at one of her parties that is causing discord, she will make things right very quickly. From what I can tell, she would kill a man to make sure her parties are at their best. And I applaud her for that kind of dedication.
PS:
This post has been bereft of smilies. For those keeping score at home, my comments about Demo and Sue are jokes. My comments about Obfu were serious. Any confusion of the two stances are the sole fault of the reader.
Ya know, I’ve started and deleted this post 4 times already. I’m already sorry for the one I posted above, because it reads like I encourage this sort of thing.
You’re right Rasa. This stuff just makes me sad. I’m still planning to go to the party, because I have faith that people can be civil in person, and I’m very much looking forward to meeting quite a few of you for the first time. That said, I hope everyone can play nice on the boards by then too, because it would make everyone involved more comfortable in person.
Beyond that, I’ll keep my opinions to myself.
[sup]ITALICS ADDED FOR EMPHASIS[/sup]
Feel free to demonstrate my email vocabulary to the people at the boards. You know so little about me yet are willing to make (and post) the unworthy assumption that I have a proclivity for foul language. I’d be interested to see what you have to back up your statements. Again, your baseless assertions nonetheless make derrogatory insinuations. This goes to the heart of my contentions.
This is in no way an attempt to escalate this matter, merely an effort to get you to clarify your own comments and allegations, which incidentally, is something you have yet to do.
I honestly had not intended to participate in this thread, I had only wanted to give Zenster the chance to say what he wanted to say without it getting us both kicked out of Sue’s party. Since Zenster tells us that a failure to defend my “allegations” will render me pathetic I feel compelled. But not right now.
I have dinner to eat and then I have to wait and see if Mr. Bush is physically capable of giving the speech he has to give tonight.
So I will put in one thing now and leave the rest for later:
Zenster, the thinness of your hide continues to amaze me. I never said that you have a proclivity for foul language. I only said that in email you seem willing to use different language than you do on the boards - in this case stronger language is used in email. And that is why I opened this thread in the Pit, to allow you to use whatever language or tone you are most comfortable with.
Admittedly, my sample for this assumption on my part is small. This sample consists of one email. In a thread (the topic of which I forget), I said
I meant this post to humorously highlight the fact that despite all of our other disagreements we were in agreement. I imagine that many other members of our board would post something similar should they find themselves in agreement with Jack Dean Tyler.
This incident provided the first evidence that I may be the pea to your princess. In response to this post by me, you sent me an email on October 4th of this year. In its entirety it consisted of three words. And no, they were not the three words people may be thinking. They were:
Those are not, of course, vulgarities (well, the final word may be a minor epithet in some languages). In fact, I was not particularly offended. But it is certainly stronger language than you tend to use on these boards. That is all that I was implying.
Alls I know is that I wish Zenster would go the hell away so I could meet some of the new Bay Area people and hang out with my friends again. What is it with you and always having to be the center of attention? Every time someone starts a thread you barge in with “OK, here’s how it’s gonna be!” Both Ob and Baglady are cool as hell. Stop being so bombastic.
Ok, I am busily composing my full reply but wanted to post a quick something asking people to not lump me and Baglady together.
Yes, she is the coolest thing since sliced bread (and if she were old enough - which she’s not! - she would have been the coolest thing before sliced bread). However, Zenster has never said less than a kind word about her.
I just don’t want anybody thinking Zenster has something against Baglady as well, I imagine he doesn’t.
Thank you for you latest post obfusciatrist, your lady is very sweet and I would be ashamed to say an ill word about her. I can only be glad that you were willing to mention this unprompted. It certainly gives me the impression and hope that our own differences can be more easily settled.
And what fun would things be without voguevixen? Gosh vogue, you say the nicest things. Why don’t you please come to the party and find out for yourself what sort of person I am. You seem quite willing to banish me from the party that I originally worked on organizing. Yet, I have no desire to see you excluded from anything. I have no intention or desire to separate you from your friends or any new acquaintances for that matter.
You vogue, on the other hand, seem to be carrying a full load of vitriol from a brief online encounter that occured last summer. I would like it very much if you would take the time to get to know me. Barring that, I certainly wish that you would feel welcome to attend. I shall not try to speak for Sue, but I am very confident that she would feel the same.
You are quoting out of context and with what seems to be intentional misdirection. I make no mention of allegations when I refer to what seems to be your “traipsing about…” being pathetic.
“I honestly had not intended to participate in this thread…” Personally, I find this statement to be ludicrous. Why would you start a thread without any intention of participating? Could it be that you have nothing valid to say?
[sup]ITALICS ADDED FOR EMPHASIS[/sup]
Then how is it that you have any real sense whatsoever of my language or tone? Once again it seems as though you are more than willing to do someone a disservice rather than give them the benefit of the doubt. Your cynicism is beginning to show. If you bothered to read them, you would find that the vast majority of my posts are devoid of strong language and typically encouraging in nature. I find it difficult to believe that you have any sort of accurate sense of who I am or how I express myself.
Ok, Zenster. What part of this are you not getting?
I never said that your normal tone is anything but calm (but on those ocassions when you are not calm it is based on the slightest provocation). In fact, I implicitly said that by implying that “bite me” was an example of the harsh language you might use. “Bite me” is not particularly harsh, - let me say this part slowly so you will understand -
therefore…the…language…you…normally…use…must
…not…be…that…bad…I…was…just…giving
…you…permission…to…use…harsher…language…
if…you…so…desired.
I don’t really care if you do or not.
All this and he’s patronizing too. Whadda guy!
Come on obfusciatrist, you and Baglady get your butts down to the party and let’s all just have a good time, eh? You too vogue, this is a party to celebrate all of us not just some of us.
Oh yeah, and something about football too…
obfusciatrist, I have a question for you. At the Folsom St. gathering, which is the only time I have met you, did you have a good time?
On the whole, no. There were moments that we great. FSF is my kind of event, and when we got into things I had fun, such as your flogging.
However, I knew from the first ten minutes after arriving that it was not going to be a fun day. Listening to Zenster try to physically dominate the room through loudness and one-liners I knew my perceptions of him online were correct. When he heckled the band and that woman in the first bar we went into I could only concur with that woman’s whispered “go fuck yourself.”
When it became clear that the day was going to be more of a bar crawl I knew that ignoring Zenster wasn’t much of an option and I took my leave (unfortunately Baglady had to go with me).
So there were moments, but overall it was a bad day.
Do I really have beefs against you Zenster? Yes, I truly do.
Here is a short list of my problems with you:
-
Despite your self-perception, you do not handle disagreement well. If that disagreement is on the subject of food there may be few survivors. (And again, I am not suggesting you would resort to physical violence. As you say, I don’t really know you so I will leave your homicidal tendencies as a subject for conjecture. You do, however, become very abusive verbally.)
-
You have to be the center of attention. Consider your annoying habit of directing people to your threads rather than participating in someone else’s. If someone brings up a recipe, you do not share your recipe, you say “check out my xxx recipe in my Ultimate Recipe Thread.” This is not participatory, this is making sure all eyes are directed back at your glory. See also current and former sigs that list just about every thread and compliment you have received on these boards.
-
1800 posts is a lot in six months. Some people do this by being intelligently proflific. Some people do this by simply being prolific. See point number 10 for more on this subject.
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You must be involved in everything. You can’t see a group without trying to insinuate yourself into a leadership role. You took over (or tried to take over) the planning of Sue’s birthday party; you took over (or tried to take over) the planning of Sue’s Thanksgiving party; you took over (and succeeded completely) SeaDiver’s holiday party. Have you noticed that you are the only person who has organized a Bay Area Dopefest in the last few months? I don’t really think that is a coincidence. I will give you credit, however, for your restraint concerning the NorCal/SoCal meet.
-
There can’t be a meet without you offering salsa! Obviously, this is truly minor and meant to break the mood a little bit. I have an acquaintance who relates absolutely every event in her life to the time she “was in the West Indies.” This was cute until I learned that she had been there for one week! I have no doubt of your culinary skill but having Paul Prudhomme offer to make me blackened catfish every 15 minutes would get tiresome as well.
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You aren’t the authority you think you are on most topics. But then this is a trait common to many people on these boards so I will ignore that one.
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In your words, your posts “are devoid of strong language and typically encouraging in nature.” I’ve conceded the “devoid of strong language” issue - with caveats. However, I don’t agree with the “encouraging” part. I would use a different word. I am not sure it is the best fit but “sycophantic” is the best I can come up with. I am amazed you can talk as much as you do, you spend so much of your day with your lips firmly attached to people’s asses. For a recent example, examine the second-to-last paragraph of your first post in this thread. Demo, Falcon, and pug are all great people but you slobbered all over them so thoroughly that I am sure that all lint has been removed from Demo’s buttcrack. Try to keep in mind that Eddie Haskell was a comedic device. You may be a sincere sycophant but I have a problem with it regardless.
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You have developed the mistaken notion that just becuase you start a thread that you own the thread. If I have a comment I think is pertinent to the thread I do not have to take into account your feelings as the originator of your thread. Considering your profligacy in posting, don’t you think it odd I have only posted to a few you started? That is because I do avoid them; I assure you that if I post in one of your threads I think I have a contribution to make.
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This comes from my having met you. You allow your insecurity to show with the way you battle mightily to maintain the stage. You can not let a sentence pass without injecting a one-liner; if you feel you are not being noticed you just talk louder; if a group of people is walking, you have to be first and leading. If you just sit back for a few minutes and let a conversation flow you might find that your place will develop without forcing one down everybody’s throats.
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You are not nearly as funny as you think you are. When you have nothing else to contribute to a thread you will post with a one-liner. I imagine this has mostly to do with your need to know that people are looking at your words. In person this is an even worse trait. You cannot allow a thought to be expressed without one of your one-liners killing it. Try this experiment: shut up for five minutes and see what an adult conversation can sound like. I’m sorry, that was ad hominem; let me replace it with this: sit quietly for five minutes and see that a conversation can happen without your participation.
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You can’t enter into the fray without telling me how many people like you better than me. There are almost 11,500 registered user of these boards. Maybe 1,000 of those are active. Maybe 150 of those know me from Adam. Do I expect that they all like me? Of course not. I try not to mince words, I think some people on these boards are over-emotional or anti-rational or just jerks. I imagine many of them have similar thoughts of me. You, on the other hand, spend so much money on Blistex to keep your lips from chapping that you can’t imagine that there is anybody who doesn’t like you. When faced with me, all you can do is trot out an anonymous band of supporters. I’ll stand here alone to take your blows; can you do the same or must you hide behind this wall of affirmation? I wouldn’t lean too hard on that wall or you may find nothing supporting you.
I think that will do now. If you require further proof that I have real beefs with you, let me know and I will post an addendum or two.
I apologize for conflating the following two statements:
Any confusion I caused among you or our readers was unintentional. Regardless, I hope that I have fulfilled your first request that I specify. Now that I have actually made allegations I will be happy to clarify them if you wish.
Concerning this piece of one of your posts:
If this means that you will provide proof of my abrasiveness by all means use whatever you need to make your points. If you meant you will provide proof that people don’t like me I would ask that you seek permission to provide them unattributed. I have no doubt there are people who don’t like me but I see no reason to drag them into this by name. Provide any quotes you want and I will stipulate their veracity.
Aw shucks obfusciatrist, you give me way too much credit. You know better than that. Lets imagine a hypothetical situation that pertains to the Folsom Street Fair, m’kay?
[li]A person is meeting almost a dozen total strangers (except for one guy that he met once before).[/li]
[li]He is so painfully shy that he has vowed to do better than that.[/li]
[li]This is a single guy who is in the presence of a few single women for the first time in months.[/li]
[li]This person is a natural bass singer and has had a strong voice for his entire life.[/li]
[li]This person is tall and just confident enough of stride to where some people seem to hate him on sight.[/li]
[li]This person also made a genuine and concerted effort throughout the entire time to help ensure that the conversation at the event flowed with a humorous note.[/li]
[li]This person made at least a few attempts to engage your conversation as well, without any great success or demonstration of enthusiasm upon your part.[/li]Most ironic of all obfusciatrist is the inability upon your part, seeing as how you thought me to be making a total @ss out of myself, to take me aside and confide with me as to your perceptions. That you should continue to have a bad time without taking any acceptable recourse is hardly reason to give me all of the blame. Do you think that I am so mean as to ignore the remonstrations of my fellow man? I may do no better than I do already if you refuse me any chance to improve upon myself.
Just thought I’d give you a chance to walk in my mocs.