Each of your suspicions about each of your family members are true. Absolutely true.
There were four members of your family when you came in. Where is your daughter?
Your daughter isn’t.
Your enjoyment of dinner will be curtailed due to one of the table legs being shorter than the other three and the ensuing wobble thereof.
You ate our display meal.
All of the meals on our menu are made from Soylent Green.
The noodles weren’t supposed to be green.
Upon completion of your meal, you will experience nausea, turn a lovely shade of green and begin to twitch. Then you will simply pay the bill and go home.
When you get home, you will discover you have been robbed. Only your wok will still be in the kitchen.
Our kitchen thanks you. They didn’t think it was edible.
Many parts of a pine tree are edible. We just proved it.
Don’t pine after that delicious Chinese meal you had 5 years ago. The restaurant has closed and you’ll never have food that good again.
A wise Chinese man will tell you the meaning of life…and then he will kill you.
With this meal we have sustained your very life. And what will be your tip?
This fortune is printed on rice paper. In case of nuclear attack, 28,000 fortune cookies should sustain you for a week. The cookies contain sodium benzoate. That’s bad.
Free your imagination while you contain your anger. Your creative destiny will then flow like an oat milk macchiato.
You are about to be diagnosed with a wide range of food sensitivities, including dairy, gluten, soy, nuts, and oats.
Meditate on those things you are sensitive to. Face your fears. What doesn’t kill you will not make you stronger but you can adapt. Most of us can.
That face you see in the mirror … ? It’s not you.
It’s not you, it’s them.