You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. But you can’t pick your friend’s nose.
-“BB”-
Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. Go for the whole face.
Soon you will face an unexpected challenge involving paper clips.
You will soon see your name in the paper: unfortunately, in the Obituary column.
In the time it took you to read this fortune, your name has been sold to 300 email lists.
You will receive an email from a Nigerian prince. It will be a genuine offer, but you will ignore it.
Ignore this fortune. Cookie was supposed to go to table #7.
-“BB”-
You have 7 left to live. 6. 5…
6 and 5 are the same dish – printer error.
Your necktie will get caught in the laser printer causing you to frantically try to push the cancel button while the guy you hate at work (no not that guy, the other one) laughs uproariously.
The guy you hate at work will step into the elevator but the car will be three floors up. No matter, you’re on the first floor.
No matter where you go, the floors will be slippery.
You will not be getting any nookie tonight.
The notorious anti-nookie cookie.
Count your blessings or bless your countings, it doesn’t matter to me.
Are you familiar with the Chinese Restaurant Heimlich Maneuver? You will be.
You’ve eaten here before in a previous life and didn’t like it then, either.
The last lipstick you purchased now has glass in it since you brought it home.
Your home is under surveillance by a malignant force you will never identify
You strained yourself while trying to force this cookie open, didn’t you? Eat a salad!
You will soon have a strained conversation with an ex-lover you had hoped to never see again.