You’ll never see it coming.
A large cage full of strident monkeys is coming to your house.
A full house is not good enough. It’s time to throw your hand in.
You will come to regret that you did not hand in that term paper in high school.
-“BB”-
You will regret foolishly tossing that piece of paper containing incriminating evidence against you into a publicly accessible waste paper basket.
Anything you eat here may be used as evidence against you in a court of law.
Don’t fight the law. The law will win.
You will soon get into a fight over the right way to handle a light saber. Let the Wookiee win.
You will soon handle an incontinent mink. It will not be a pleasurable experience.
You will have a pleasurable experience with your gastroenterologist.
With great bravery, you will save a gastroenterologist from drowning. She will reward you by offering you free annual colonoscopies for the rest of your life.
You have shown great bravery by choosing to dine here.
-“BB”-
The complete and unabridged truth will be shown to you, but you’d rather have the tuna.
If you don’t eat this fortune immediately, you will be arrested and charged with treason.
You will make a fortune in the dry-cleaning business, but will always wish you had followed your dream of becoming an accordion player instead.
It’s common knowledge that you have an accordion file containing better than 43,000 fortune cookie fortunes. Interested in selling?
A journey of 43,000 miles starts with a single cab ride to the airport.
Miles Davis once got this same fortune.
Sammy Davis, Jr. was your father.
Years before you were born, your father was second runner up in a male beauty contest.