True beauty comes from within. Your exposed intestines however, are not attractive.
Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes clear to the bone.
-“BB”-
Everyone around you thinks your skin looks strange.
Nothing in this restaurant is gluten-free. Including the staff, if you are so inclined.
Your next promotion will be nothing to brag about.
The next time you eat pizza you will burn the roof of your mouth.
Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home. Your house is on fire, your children will burn.
This fortune produced by the C. Montgomery Burns Company. Kindly deposit two cents in the receptacle by the register as you leave.
Under California law, this fortune is considered to be for amusement purposes only and is not to be construed as a promise, pledge, or any other form of binding contract.
-“BB”-
Soon you will temporarily contract an upsetting illness, but it will not be Covid.
Life can be extremely upsetting, so eat Cheerios instead.
In this life, beauty and wisdom are rarely found in the same person.
(I actually got one that said that.)
Life is like a bowl of lichi nuts, but I couldn’t tell you why.
This restaurant used to be a bowling alley. The Parker family ate here one Christmas.
Your family gossips about you behind your back.
“Y’all come back now, y’hear?” does not directly translate into Chinese. And for good reason.
The Chinese ideograms on the walls are obscene words.
-“BB”-
If you feel like the walls are closing in, close your eyes and take a deep breath.
You eyes are the windows to your soul. They need Windex.
Windex, breakfast of champions! Or was that whiskey?